Standing strong
 

ok...my ABF is here for the holidays... and last night I went to get smokes and the cheapest place is at a liquor store... so we both went into the store and he went over by the Vodka... and I said no... and if he asked please just on small bottle... and I said NO... and I said I was leaving that he could stay here or he could get in to the car with me and leave... I was leaving with or with out him.... I treated him like a 3 year old... but you know what... I have had enough and I am not going to put up with the begging ...

I am proud of myself... I took him back to the house and I went back and got the smokes. I hope he understands why I did what I did...

Just wanted you all to know that you can make a differance... just one step at a time...

By the way.... MERRY CHRISTMAS....

Hoping you don't have to play "mom" much more this holiday season, mec.

Nice job staying strong. "Just one little bottle?" Sheeesh.

Hugs to you

"Just one little bottle" - boy are they all the same. My AH is mandated to treatment which he starts after Christmas and he's already figuring out how many days he has left to drink so he doesn't test positive on the urine test. I said to him, "well you know one drink leads to many more days of drinking and you won't be able to stop before treatment." He says "yes I will, I can control it, I'm not going to go crazy, just a couple of beers." I just had to laugh at the stupideness of it all. Hope you have a happy holiday.

Setting this type of boundary didn't work work well for me. When I treated my boyfriend like a 3-year-old, he abliged by behaving like one. It took me a while to figure out that a healthy boundary is something I set to protect myself--not an attempt to control someone else's behavior.

One boundary I set for myself was to break all contact with my boyfriend whenever he was actively drinking. If that meant that we had to spend holidays apart, then so be it. That way, he could drink if he chose and I could live as I chose.

Hope you have a fine holiday, too.

The alcoholic in my life has been diagnosed with cancer, he is drinking like mad before he goes to hospital, he is panicking more about not having a drink, it is unbeleivable, how strong this bloody disease is.

Didnt think i would have to do this but ive had to put the bounderies up and it is so hard. I am drained.

Mair

I found that my life became easier when I let go and gave my AH full responsibility for his drinking and his recovery attempts. It won't save our marriage but it will save my sanity until we are fully separated and divorced.

god knows ive heard that before...

i hope you have a very merry christmas :)

either accept his drinking or dont and move on.

adults dont like being treated like 3 yr olds. Expect him to drink behind your back and lit a hell of a lot more than he currently does.

No human being has the power to control alcoholism.