Mr. Christian

Constant change.
As I have hinted I was seeing someone during the last 3 months. Things were well as I thought.

There were hints along the way but I try now, as I live not to blow things way out of whack.
Well Monday night she came over and said she thought we were too serious too fast and she was calling the whole thing off.
The boot so to speak.
Now this girl would cook me dinner and show so much attention to me it had the making, which I thought of long term.

The problem, which I knew ahead of time, is that she just got out of a 5-year relationship.
Her family did push her not to get involved and I could see that.

I used the tools I learned in the respect that I could not control a person, place or thing.
It’s now Friday, and although I feel better I still am sonmwhat disappointed.


She told me she could easily fall into me and go down this path, but it was not what she had planned out.
She told me she had to follow her head not her heart this time.

But now since we know mutual friends, I hear things coming back, not nice things.

So live and learn. I need to share a little on this. I put myself out there maybe too much with her, heck I don’t know.
But I do know one thing.


The steps helped me deal with this also. Knowing that the free will of others was there’s, and I have mine.

Barbara52

{hugs}

ICU

I'm sorry (((Mr. C)))

Mr. Christian

Thanks. I do believe that our age difference played a part also.
It was not an issue to her in the beginning and we did discuss it.
But I think that was what her sister get at her about. She is very close with her family.
My biggest confusion with it all was that she would shower me with attention. Text, calls, spending time with me, then everything shuts down.
Now she does not even want contact.
She had brought back things we had bought, or a gift. I told her no, I don’t take back stuff.

CBrown

I'm sorry Mr. C. Sometimes we never know exactly why a person pulls back when they seem so "into it" but if she's going to blow hot then cold, better to find out now.

So now that she's out of the picture, I can make my move on you, right?

HAHAHAHAHA, just kidding, trying to get a smile out of you. Did it work?

GiveLove

I'm sorry, Mr. C, but I'm also glad that the steps are helping you with this normal human transition (deeply sad transition, but very common in our lives, yes?)

It sounds, with her erratic behavior, as though she really is still flailing around trying to decide what she wants, and she doesn't know herself yet. Perhaps she will some day.

Hugs to you.

denny57

Sorry to hear it Mr C. I'm not sure what the age difference is, but sometimes it's about the heady start of a relationship for some people. All the fun stuff, cooking with each other, traveling, gift buying, etc.

((()))

NoChoice

Mr C,

I am sorry that you are going thru this right now. To be frank, I think I just did this to a guy too. I am not sure what I want, not sure where I am going, not sure if I want someone else in the picture. It is a confusing time for me. I was upfront with the guy as soon as I started to feel standoffish which is the best I could do. I don't know why I got standoffish, I don't know why I got on the road to a relationship so quicky when I didn't know if I really wanted one. I feel bad about the whole thing. I guess I am telling you this because sometimes there just isn't an answer other than the person has to take care of themselves.

Take care of you.

Kindeyes

Mr. C
I'm so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this pain right now. The timing was pretty stinky. It's hard to know what was going through her mind. Women are strange beasts. It's so cliche to say this but I'll say it anyway.......she left that space open in your heart for the RIGHT woman.
gentle hugs
ke

Rella927

Sorry that you are going through this Mr. C but, at least you are going through this with awarness! That is huge in my book!

I love what KindEyes said about "leaving the space in your heart wide open for the RIGHT woman" we do know who is right for us in our heart because we just know! There is no questioning of anything....

Yes we live and we learn and you have come a long way be proud of that! Getting out there and exposing yourself to try at another realtionship with our new tools and found freedom of our true self is A+ in my book!

FormerDoormat

Hello, Mr. C. Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Ms. Right. Glad Ms. Wrong bowed out of the picture to make way for me. I'll treat you right. Make you the center of my world. My every thought and action will focus on you. I'll keep one step ahead of you so I can anticipate your every need. Your every wish is my command. I'll put up with all your crapola. I'll tolerate emotional and physical abuse and forgive you time and time again. You can lie to me, cheat on me, steal from me, live off of me, and come home drunk every night. It doesn't matter. I'll stay true to you to the end.

Oh wait, that was the old me. Never mind.

On a more serious note, anyone who treats me well to my face yet talks poorly about me to others behind my back is not a friend. Be grateful this woman showed you her true colors early in the game.

geees poncho

ditto to FD

Spiritual Seeker

Breaking up sucks. One day you will know that this was only meant to be temporary.
learn the lesson and keep your heart open.

CBrown

Lol, FD!!! I thought you were serious until about 3 lines into your post!

I think we also scared Mr. C away. Another one escapes! Hee Hee!

mamaplus2kids

I'm sorry Mr. C. Giving you a big hug from Switzerland! You are a great guy. You deserve an honest person who treats you well and doesn't speak badly behind your back. Perhaps, there are some lessons to be learned here. Don't get involved with someone so soon after their last relationship... I hear a 6-month to 1-year grieving period is required. The age difference is only a big deal if one person has to compromise too much and the interests don't match. Basically, I think with good communication, an incompatible couple can usually work things out.

kermit

Breaking up sucks, I don't think I will ever be ready to even date again.

You are a great person don't give up love WILL find ya and it will be great!

Love ya, Kermmie

ARealLady

Mr C....I'm sorry this new friendship didn't work out as you expected but glad to read that your own ME-work helped you understand that you have to let others go when it's time.

Be good to yourself now...((((((Mr. C)))))

ARL

Mr. Christian

You know I have given this a lot of thought the last few days and part of me is ok with it.
On the other hand I know how things were when we together. She was always kind, loving and attentive.

The age difference was never an issue with her since the beginning; her ex was just 4 yr. younger then I.

Her one sister seemed to pound the hell out of the fact and that worried her. She seemed worried all the time about people’s opinions on all sorts of matters though.
Where as I, could really care less what others think at this point in my life.


But as we all know here, sometimes people do not work on past issues and they later effect them.

I’ve talked to more people who have grown up with her and refer to her as the crazy girl.
God I wish I would have known all this before hand.
I guess the whole thing about my “picker” being broken when finding someone may be true.

How embarrassing, a broken “picker”.
Hell I never felt it.

hbb

Yup, couldn't have said that better myself. Those issues certainly do come back unfortunately.

Your a great guy and ANYONE would be lucky to have you her loss!

CBrown

Mr. C., you cannot totally blame your "picker." When people are first dating, they usually put their best foot forward. Plus, a person cannot expect perfection or we would NEVER date or marry!

It would be great if we could read a person's "dating references" before we "hire" them as BF or GF, but it doesn't work that way! Unfortunately our hearts get sucked in quickly, and the truth comes out slowly.