bwgaede

Hi everyone,
About a month ago I posted a thread about a women I was dating who became sober about a year and a half after we started dating. Two years into the relationship she told me she needed time and space. She told me this about 2 months ago, and recently has started to talk more to me and we have gone on a couple of dates.

Now I am starting to become confused on what she wants exactly. She told me that she wanted to be with me but wanted to take it slow getting back into the relationship. But we still have work to do (my codependency) and her (working the program). I guess my question is what would someone else do or if anyone has some input.

Thanks Brad

Growing

It is so great that she is sober!

My opinion is, if you feel deeply about her, don't hold on too tightly.

Enjoy each encounter with her and try to stay in the present moment. Work your program foremost. All of these things are attractive, I think. You guys can't lose working the program seperately and together.

As time goes by, you will feel more confident about the situation.

Good Luck!

Growing

hopeangel

"Enjoy each encounter"- love that growing i'm learning that is what relationships and life is about ... encounters and making the most of each one.

bwgaede

That sounds great but she still needs time to figure out who she really is. So I am going to continue to give her space. When I give her space she seems to be more attracted to me and calls me more. I know the only way for this to work is to become my own person. And lately she has told me that she has been dreaming about me and having sexual feelings for me but does not want to rush back into it. Which I understand.

tryingtoheal

Have you heard the Fergie song that is called something like "Big Girls Don't Cry?" I don't recall who, but someone that posts in here has some of the lyrics in their autosignature.

Anyway, when I first heard that song, I laughed my a$$ off at the statement 'big girls don't cry.' I wasn't really listening to the words at the time, and I thought the song sucked.

However, one day when I was alone and driving, I actually listened to the lyrics. About half way through the song I started bawling like the floodgates of he11 had been opened. Suffice it to say, I am a freak! But I absolutely love that song now, and I so admire Fergie for it.

Sorry, I am rambling like a moron. My point is this: look up the lyrics to that song if you get time. It is beautiful, and I think you will find that it pertains directly to your situation with this lady.

Best!

bwgaede

Thanks for the support everyone.