what I do not like about loving an alcoholic
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Good Luck
This has been an interesting thread to say the least. Personally, I go through each and every day.....one day at a time.....and my thoughts and feelings seem to fluctuate. I do think about the behaviors of my A son and how it relates to my own behaviors.....that is part of my recovery. The basic point is that it is your recovery. No one elses. And how you go about it is a very personal (and painful) process.
Gentle hugs to you as you explore how to best understand your own past but most importantly, how to approach your future.
ke
This has been an interesting thread to say the least. Personally, I go through each and every day.....one day at a time.....and my thoughts and feelings seem to fluctuate. I do think about the behaviors of my A son and how it relates to my own behaviors.....that is part of my recovery. The basic point is that it is your recovery. No one elses. And how you go about it is a very personal (and painful) process.
Gentle hugs to you as you explore how to best understand your own past but most importantly, how to approach your future.
ke
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Ok people, let's take this from the top.
1- Limit you posts to the original question posted by the person who started the post. Sniping at each other is rude, and is called "hijacking" a post.
2- Limit your posts to your _personal_ experience with the subject being discussed. If you don't have experience in that area, keep your fingers off the keyboard.
3- The easy way to find out if you have started "controlling and directing" is to count how many times you write the word "you" instead of the word "I". Every time you say "you" nullifies about 100 times that you say "I".
4- Yes, as the moderator here I am _not_ writing as a member of al-anon, I am writing as the person who has been involved in online forums since 1975. These rules were adapted for online forums way back then, adapted from the rules of real-time self-help groups established by the psych community in the late 60's. And yes, I have a degree in psych.
5- Since the top 3 rules have been blown out of the water, as well as several other rules of SoberRecovery I am closing this thread for awhile so you all can step back, chill out, and get a chance to count to 100.
6- After you have cooled off, you might want to consider staying out of future threads that stir your emotions. That's called "getting triggered", and all it does is offend people and scare off the people who are hurting the most; those who have not yet made their first post.
Goodluck? I apologize for the rude behavior some people have shown in your thread. Fortunately, this sort of thing doesn't happen too often.
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
1- Limit you posts to the original question posted by the person who started the post. Sniping at each other is rude, and is called "hijacking" a post.
2- Limit your posts to your _personal_ experience with the subject being discussed. If you don't have experience in that area, keep your fingers off the keyboard.
3- The easy way to find out if you have started "controlling and directing" is to count how many times you write the word "you" instead of the word "I". Every time you say "you" nullifies about 100 times that you say "I".
4- Yes, as the moderator here I am _not_ writing as a member of al-anon, I am writing as the person who has been involved in online forums since 1975. These rules were adapted for online forums way back then, adapted from the rules of real-time self-help groups established by the psych community in the late 60's. And yes, I have a degree in psych.
5- Since the top 3 rules have been blown out of the water, as well as several other rules of SoberRecovery I am closing this thread for awhile so you all can step back, chill out, and get a chance to count to 100.
6- After you have cooled off, you might want to consider staying out of future threads that stir your emotions. That's called "getting triggered", and all it does is offend people and scare off the people who are hurting the most; those who have not yet made their first post.
Goodluck? I apologize for the rude behavior some people have shown in your thread. Fortunately, this sort of thing doesn't happen too often.
Mike
Moderator, SoberRecovery
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