The house is sold!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
The house is sold!
Well gang, we passed papers today ~ the house is sold! Thanks for all your prayers and good wishes.
The even better news ~ after the sale, driving home, I got an overwhelming wave of sadness. I loved that house, and it'll never be "our" house again. I had to pass a lot of places we went as a family ... the memories started flooding back ...
But you know what? Just as quick as they came, I saw them for what they were ~ at long last. They weren't real, they were figments of my imagination. The restaurant we went to? Yes, we had fun there. But remember how much he drank there and how tense you got about it? Then remember when we got home, how he ran upstairs to go out on the deck to smoke a joint? Then he stayed upstairs watching TV by himself while the kids and I were in the living room?
The beach where we walked the dogs. Remember how much fun it was? But wait. He drank on the way to the beach, had a couple stashed for the ride home. I had to stand lookout while he smoked one on the beach. Yeah, that was fun.
Oh! The store where we did Christmas shopping for the kids! Hmmm. Where I did Christmas shopping for the kids. Geesh, he used to get mad because I put $10 a week in Christmas club for the kids. Meanwhile he spent $150 - 200 a week on Bud, weed, and gambling. How about the $500 he blew on teeth whitening because his gums are so rotted from the substance abuse? How about the hundreds he poured into the AC on his broken down van ... so he'd be comfortable when he sat drinking for a couple hours at the beach after work...
I'll always love the house, and the kids and I had happy memories there. But we're making new memories now. And living authentic lives.
Well, I let go of the pity party I was working up to, and faced the truth. XAH chose a different path, and serves a different master. Thats reality.
God didn't take me this far to let me down now ... thats reason to celebrate, not cry!!!!
The even better news ~ after the sale, driving home, I got an overwhelming wave of sadness. I loved that house, and it'll never be "our" house again. I had to pass a lot of places we went as a family ... the memories started flooding back ...
But you know what? Just as quick as they came, I saw them for what they were ~ at long last. They weren't real, they were figments of my imagination. The restaurant we went to? Yes, we had fun there. But remember how much he drank there and how tense you got about it? Then remember when we got home, how he ran upstairs to go out on the deck to smoke a joint? Then he stayed upstairs watching TV by himself while the kids and I were in the living room?
The beach where we walked the dogs. Remember how much fun it was? But wait. He drank on the way to the beach, had a couple stashed for the ride home. I had to stand lookout while he smoked one on the beach. Yeah, that was fun.
Oh! The store where we did Christmas shopping for the kids! Hmmm. Where I did Christmas shopping for the kids. Geesh, he used to get mad because I put $10 a week in Christmas club for the kids. Meanwhile he spent $150 - 200 a week on Bud, weed, and gambling. How about the $500 he blew on teeth whitening because his gums are so rotted from the substance abuse? How about the hundreds he poured into the AC on his broken down van ... so he'd be comfortable when he sat drinking for a couple hours at the beach after work...
I'll always love the house, and the kids and I had happy memories there. But we're making new memories now. And living authentic lives.
Well, I let go of the pity party I was working up to, and faced the truth. XAH chose a different path, and serves a different master. Thats reality.
God didn't take me this far to let me down now ... thats reason to celebrate, not cry!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Great post, GPJ! I'm packing up my own house and moving and am already in love with my new place. You have described me to a T - I can recall the "good" times, realize the part alcohol played in them, and move on. The good news is I get to take ME along wherever I go.
((()))
((()))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: looking for the sun in cold MN
Posts: 775
Congratulations GPJ, I love hearing a success story. I'm going to be dealing with the same thing shortly. I love our house too, but I have to believe I'll find something I can love as much. I like how you talk about the things you enjoyed- but how your ex colored them in a way that didn't feel so good. You'll make new memories- of your own. I'm happy for you!
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Congrats GPJ! That is wonderful news-and even more wonderful that you can place those in perspective-
Happy new life and new journey!
Happy new life and new journey!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
HURRAY FOR YOU!!!! It's great about the house, but thanks even more for showing how you don't let your mind play sentimental tricks with you. Staying in reality is the only way I keep on the straight and narrow.
You all make me so happy that my HP was looking out for me and eventually made me see the light about my XABF. Thank God we didn't move in together (and he wanted to BADDDDDD) or I could be dealing with the same "ghost in the house" as so many of you are. Bad enough the "ghost of R" still tries to rattle around in my brain at times.
But GPJ, this is great news! Congratulations!
You all make me so happy that my HP was looking out for me and eventually made me see the light about my XABF. Thank God we didn't move in together (and he wanted to BADDDDDD) or I could be dealing with the same "ghost in the house" as so many of you are. Bad enough the "ghost of R" still tries to rattle around in my brain at times.
But GPJ, this is great news! Congratulations!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
What a relief for you to have the house sold,even if it is a bit bittersweet.
You sound ready for a bright new year....and I hope (and expect) that is just what you will get!
Thanks for sharing; you are an encouragement to me!
You sound ready for a bright new year....and I hope (and expect) that is just what you will get!
Thanks for sharing; you are an encouragement to me!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: NOR CAL
Posts: 70
Congrats!! You will have many more memories with your kids, happy memories.
You don't have to worry about school functions, b'day parties and vacations turning into an embarrasing situation. That's priceless.
I have the unhealthy habit of looking back way too often at the bad times, the simple things we've done as a family that he's somehow turned into bad memories. I can't forget those times, the hurt, embarrasment, dissapointment that came with them. I haven't gotten up the courage to leave, so I still live in the past. But you.....you can try to forget the past and look to the future. And sounds like you'll make a great future for you and your kids. I admire your strength
PS: I changed my avatar for you...it's one of my 2 piggies
You don't have to worry about school functions, b'day parties and vacations turning into an embarrasing situation. That's priceless.
I have the unhealthy habit of looking back way too often at the bad times, the simple things we've done as a family that he's somehow turned into bad memories. I can't forget those times, the hurt, embarrasment, dissapointment that came with them. I haven't gotten up the courage to leave, so I still live in the past. But you.....you can try to forget the past and look to the future. And sounds like you'll make a great future for you and your kids. I admire your strength
PS: I changed my avatar for you...it's one of my 2 piggies
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 471
(((((penneypoo))))) You have a future to look forward to, too. You'll get there, with or without your A .
Thanks for the kind words and especially the avatar! What a cute piggie! (Never met one that isn't ...
)
Thanks for the kind words and especially the avatar! What a cute piggie! (Never met one that isn't ...
)
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
