gns

I have gone out with a guy 2 times now (first time with friends) in the last 3 weeks. We have been texting back and forth. I am very attracted to him (that is probably a bad sign to begin with, although I am getting better about identifying manipulators).

Today he texted me this pretty picture of his perfect day, cozying up in the rain with a special someone etc etc.

me- "you are too cute, your day sounds beautiful.

him- "well cute wasn't what I was going for, but I will take what I can get. What are you doing today?".

me - "what does that mean? I am getting computer stuff for work"

him - I like to think of myself as the "dashing, adventerous type" rather than the cute type.

me - I meant the warmth of your vision is endearing and beautiful.

him - That is very kind of you to say so


I can't tell if there are warning signs in this exchange.
Is he arrogant? Does he need and is he expecting validation and compliments so early in our interactions?

Or is this really nothing.

MsGolightly

i personally don't see anything wrong with this conversation, but i don't see how you can judge someone based on a few text messages. this is one split second of who he is, so i'm not sure you can tell a whole lot by this.

GiveLove

Sounds like "not enough information to decide" from here.

I personally like people who are self-deprecating enough to say, "Well, actually, I was going for the adventurous type...." My husband, who is the least egotistical person I know, said a similar thing when we were dating. I worried too, but it turned out to be a harmless (and pretty funny) remark.

As you go along, you will refine your language with each other. "Cute" might mean "sweet and wonderful" to you, and might mean "hello kitty" to him

Roll with it, gns! He sounds okay so far....unless there are other signs that worry you??

aztchr

For me, actions always spoke louder than text/words.

WantsOut

I read it as a lot of guys dislike being called "cute" and "nice" - they want to be considered more manly than that. Puppies are cute and nice.

But I also agree with the others that there is not enough info to go on here.

ARealLady

"Cute" might mean "sweet and wonderful" to you, and might mean "hello kitty" to him

Now that is real insight. RFL

That said, don't watch YOUR words, gns....always be yourself. However, I am wondering why if someone asks you "What are you doing today?" you have to find a hidden agenda in it? Not talking about you, personally, but I have often wondered about others including myself. I always think that if a person asks me a direct question it is because they are genuinely interested in getting to know something about me. So, I answer their questions directly. All this "what do you mean?" just leads to more confusion and game playing.

ARL

Mr. Christian

Red flag? Your kidding , right?

He's a dude not a cat.

GiveLove

Sorry, Mr. Christian, but that made me laugh out loud for some reason. How do YOU react to being referred to as "cute" ? Are there guys out there who like it?

NoChoice

I am a chic and I loathe being called cute...maybe I am loco...LOL! I do know that if I am looking for red flags maybe I don't want to be in a relationship. This just happened to me, tought I was interested in someone and all of the sudden I started looking for flags. I am now looking at myself, instead. Good luck.

DesertEyes

Depends on who is telling me and under what conditions. When my g/f tells me I _love_ it, she says it makes me blush. I would _never_ admit to blushing When my Mom tells me it makes me feel good, and grateful to have such a wonderful Mom.

However, I live in Las Vegas, and I was once offered a job by a Madame. There was nothing cute about her calling me cute. I'm sure she meant no offense, obviously she thought I have something marketable. But I don't give it away for money so I did _not_ appreciate it.

As others have pointed out, it's not _what_ people say that I care about. It's the actions that support and give value to the words that are important to me.

Mike
p.s. My program "sister" got me out of that sticky situation. I was kinda at a loss for words

Rella927

GNS....I have to agree with that saying "actions speak louder than words" it is how I live my life today-I have found that e-mail and text messages can be interpreted wrong. Words in my eyes mean nothing unless they are followed with actions-in this case it just sounds as if it was a friendly little conversation-and nothing to read into!

As Desert Eyes and MR. C pointed out! Every guy is different and it depends on who the "cute" is coming from .....

Nothing to worry about there GNS..just sounds like a normal convo!

gns

Thank you all for your replies.
I don't want to brush things under the rug and you guys are AWESOME and helping me (and others) see clearly!

Thank you for your input and sharing your thoughts!

Wascally Wabbit

I agree with a lot of the previous posts, but may I add that only time will tell. People are usually on their best behavior at first. Then, when you become more familliar with each other, the real person comes out.
Just wait. Trust your gut. Don't deny any "red flag" if it does come along.