yep, quack quack quack, that is all you hear ;)

just a thought - if he is so miserable in marriage how about suggesting that he get himself out of it then? i've called ah out on that one a couple of times.

but, it is hard to lose an alcoholic -sorry, but it is true.

my therapist really helped me see that the hurtful things ah was saying were all a reflection on how he feels about himself - his words just didn't match up to his actions -because if he really felt the horrible things he said -he would not still be wanting to be with me. umm, hello.

i'm glad you have found alanon. looking inward is the start so that past mistakes are not repeated again. take the focus off ah and what he is doing and put it on yourself sweetie.

take care.

Susie,

I'm sorry, but from everything you've told us, it seems like your only option to retain your sanity is to start making a plan to get away. The stress alone will kill you. And your husband sounds severely unstable. Is staying in the river house worth your life? What if he takes it the next step and gets desperately ill, and you have to pour more money into his health care. Do you want to hang out and wait for that?

What happens if you put the house on the market? You lose some money that you can now (with your new career) earn back in short order. By my math, $600,000 x 6% is $36,000, x 3% is $18,000. How many sales like that would it take to buy your financial stability back?

What happens if you get your own apartment for you and yours while you do that?

Think about options. You say you want to learn how to live with it, but there is no way to live with a raving maniac who undermines your self-esteem 177 times a day and who refuses to see that he has a problem. It will kill you.

Wishing you luck....and creativity.

I love having someone but I don't have anyone.

Then there's nothing left to lose. You have yourself, and that's all that matters.