Loreena

Oh, how long of a thread can I post here....they are too numerous to mention but will give it a shot....lots of the same things everyone else here has mentioned over and over again.

Fear of loosing my house (it is in foreclosure, real fear, really real)
fear of my AH dying in a gutter (he is in jail, not coming back here, restraining order placed on him when he gets out)
Fear of loosing my good credit (house in foreclosure, this is a real fear too)
Fear of my mom dying (she is in late stage Alzheimers, real fear too)

BUT having said all that,

I take full responsibility for purchasing a home with a sick alcoholic man that I hoped had hit his bottom. I can find a place that I can afford on my paycheck, I have a good job and am grateful for that.

I know there is nothing I can do to help the AH any longer. I have hit a bottom with this one - finally and I pray for him - that is what I can do for him today, just for today.

Well, the credit thing, someday it will be off my credit report, in the meantime, you live within your means, you save for yourself for retirement, you don't beat up on yourself for this..I never have to put myself in a situation again where someone sucks the life and finances out of me..I take responsibility for this and am trying to accept this.

My mom, this is at the top of my priority list, she is first and foremost the best mom in the world, she isn't suffering, she is being taken care of and I can go see her as often as I can and be there for her. My heart is breaking for her and of course for me..but I fear loosing her so much, she is the last family I have and all that unconditional love she gave me for the past 50 years. I will miss that.

Barbara52

Loreena, I too have a mother with advanced Alzheimers. Personally I look forward to the day she dies because I know it will end her pain and confusion and she will go to a better place. I do not fear her death, I view it as the best day of her life because of my beliefs.

As fo rthe fear of loosing your good credit, been there done that. I went thru bancruptcy after my first divorce many years ago. Yeah, it was unpleasant but it was necessary then and has had no lasting effect on me financially. It did indeed teach me to be more careful financially and is one reason I am insisting the house AH and I own will be sold.

MLALOK

Thanks ICU. My man died, this will be the 2nd Christmas without him, and it feels worse than last year. Everyone else seems to have got over it but me. He was a secret alcoholic, I never knew. He died in hospital having fallen into a coma. Drs say he was drinking a bottle of vodka a day. I never had the chance to talk to him about it. He was always the perfect gentleman, I'd known him 10 years. He was my darling love. Nightmare. It's the unanswered questions that haunt me, and not being able to tell him I loved him no matter what - the whole package.
Not sure how to start a new thread, and is it worth sharing...more misery for all the good people

Sasha99

I fear that I will not take care of myself.
I fear that I will always put someone else's welfare ahead of my own.
I fear that I will not get out of this nowhere relationship that I'm in.
I fear that I'll never be happy for any length of time.
I fear that I will never know what it is like to be loved and chosen by someone who is healthy.

Thanks for this thread.

WantsOut

Everyone's fears are so dramatic. My main fear is so petty in comparison - I'm afraid of not being able to pay my bills and the consequences like foreclosure.

Everything else I have faith will work out - my son will be fine, my death is too far off to worry about, my parents are young and healthy. But bankruptcy - that makes my blood run cold. And no, I'm not in any financial trouble of any kind.

I'm either really healthy or totally effed up

FormerDoormat

I had to acknowledge my fears in order to let them go, but beyond that I believe that focusing too much on my fears had the opposite effect--it gave them power, allowed them to take a strong hold of me, and encouraged them to grow. In short, my fears immobilized me and kept me from living the life I wanted.

I've been working diligently on eliminating the negative things from my life these days and focusing more on what's positive about it. In that vein, I prefer to focus on my strengths and the areas of my life where I am courageous. The more I focus on what's good in my life and the more I focus on my strengths, successes, and gifts, the more powerful I become.

As I begin to recognize how powerful I am and that I am in control of my destiny, the more those old fears are fading away.

Kindeyes

Most of the time I don't fear anything. I'm not afraid of snakes or spiders etc. I don't fear death. I'm not one who normally dwells on fear. But today is a bad day and I fear.....

.....that my son will continue his self destructive behavior.

That is my single greatest fear. It is a fear that I know I have to let go of but today it has the best of me.

But I liked the other suggestion......my hope....

......is that tomorrow will be better than today and I'll be back on track with my own recovery.