forum rules?

Old 12-04-2007, 10:31 PM
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Lightbulb forum rules?

Soberrecovery is a forum for those recovering from alcohol and substance abuse addictions and help for family and friends whos lives have been affected by someone else's addiction. Although we care about everyone and all the issues our members struggle with we feel that some topics can cause damage to those who are trying to recover on our forums. Posts with suicidal, sexual abuse, and sexual addiction content are too much of a trigger for some of our members and can trigger a relapse in recovery.

We will remove posts at our discretion that contain triggering content. Please do not take this as rejection. It is our way of protecting everyone here. If you are in crisis please call your physician, visit a hospital emergency room of call a hotline.


I am shocked angered and upset by this but mostly disapointed. I have a slight fear too that my post will be removed but I hope it can be left as I believe its valid and I would be interested in hearing others opinions.

I find it offensive to my integrity because I believe that alcoholism is directly linked to sexual abuse in the majority of cases.

I feel saddened that sexual abuse has been marginalised as too taboo and shut away in secrecy, this adds to the shame of the survivor and also amkes it once again an "unspeakable" thing, this is a trigger for me. I dont understand the decision as i find it diseased.

Step 1. we admitted we were powerless over alcohol (other people places and things.

one cant walk around on eggshells afraid that their words or actions will trigger a relapse. we are not responsibile for the relapse of others. recovery for me is not about avoiding these topics but facing them with our recovery and examining them and lessening their powers. secrecy and silence breeds shame.

sexual abuse, sexual addiction/addictive behaviour and suicide are paramount parts of living with the disease of alcoholism not to mention that i myself have found DEEP healing on this forum for other issues but also these issues in a BIG way that ive got nowhere else.

i can understand that things on here would trigger. uve triggered me. meeting trigger, books, tv, work, a lot of things trigger. as you said..... If you are in crisis please call your physician, visit a hospital emergency room of call a hotline. i would add, read literature, go to a meeting, call a sponsor, call a friend, minister, lifeline. i find myself strongly opposed to the idea that marginalising these topics is of much benefit and more concerned about the harm in it. i think one can not read a post if it is too upsetting but ultimately responsibility for the trigger lies in the self and with the higher power. steps 1 and 2. big time. im doing a step 3 right now and handing this over. :day4 i would like to hear others thoughts on this and value if you woul not bar this thread.
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Old 12-04-2007, 11:15 PM
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I totally disagree with your claim that alcoholism is directly linked to sexual abuse in the MAJORITY of cases. Majority means over half. There are probably 5 times more alcoholics than there are victims of sexual abuse, and of course not all victims of sexual abuse become alcoholics. Don't ask me to cite statistics for this, because I have not and will not research it. I just don't believe your claim.

Everything else I totally agree with you 100%. There should be no such thing as a taboo subject. Nor do I believe talking about is any more of a trigger to relapse than my drunkalog is a relapse to others. If an individual is uncomfortable the subject of a particular thread, they can look at other threads.

Now I totally support locking down a thread that degenerates into flaming or other BS. I also support locking out users who just want to stir the pot and are not interested in helping others.

Just my 2 cents.
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Old 12-04-2007, 11:53 PM
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The guidelines we follow are from our actual experience with members on the forums. I've seen members relapse from posts with suicidal content and graphic details of sexual abuse. I've seen some members have to leave the forum because they were too triggered to be here. When the previous owner deleted a thread containing details of sexual abuse I was angry the same way you are. It caused me great pain because I am also a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. After much discussion with those who were very triggered by the thread I gained a better understanding of the different place that each person is in their recovery.

General discussions of sexual abuse and feelings of suicidal depression are allowed. Graphic details of sexual abuse and serious threats of suicide are treated differently. This is why other forums and professional help is advised. We are not trained professionals to help those who are seriously suicidal. Graphic details of sexual abuse are too much of a trigger for some of our members.

We have a thread going here and you are welcome to join it. A lot of the posts in the thread were lost in the recent crash.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post1589373
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Old 12-05-2007, 05:58 PM
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Hey there Utopia

I am a survivor of sexual abuse by alcoholics. I have been to therapy, meetings of Incest Survivors Anonymous, and other such. The reasons SR doesn't handle the topics you mentioned is because we don't have the staff or the resources to do it properly. This is _respect_ for people in pain by saying up front that we are not going to pretend that we can deal with it, only to disapoint people later on.

If we could, we would. But we can't, so we're going to practice a program of honesty and say so.

Am I making sense?

Mike
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Old 12-06-2007, 07:42 PM
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thank you for your honest and respectful response and expanding on your actions.

in regards to the link i am not here to argue or prove a point. my opinion is my own, that doesnt make it fact nor does anyones statements prove the "truth" but thats what i believe. i believe sexual abuse is far more common than people realise or are willing to realise. im not saying survivors become alcoholics. im not saying theres always a link, i definitely disrgard that there is no correlation between the disease of alcoholism and child abuse including sexual, even if the alcoholism is not being suffered by the abuser them selves as alcohlism effects not just the alcoholic but all of their friends and family too. thats why i was so concerned by what i understood was meant by the barring of free speech.

im just basing it on my experience and on studies ive read in periodicals etc. im not trying to outprove you. this is my experience and i recognise your opinion.

i dont think any online forum can help any of these issues completely, without recovery meetings and other resources there just is no recovery. peace.
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