hopeangel

i an considering sneaking my pet into a place that does not allow pets. i REALLY like the place and it is perfect with me and has everything i need. i would hate to pass it up.

do you think i can do this?
a landlord can not come in your apartment announced am i right? they cannot come in when no one is there?

if i can keep the cat away from the windows do you think it will be okay?

Miss Pink

since I try to live life as an honest person with integrity, Id have to say lying is not the way to go.

After all...isnt that what the alcoholics do, and we dont like to be lied to when they do?

any yes, they can come inside for maintenance, or if a problem is thought to exist.

I urge you to reconsider duping someone for your own self serving needs....what goes around, comes around and consequences are meant for all of us.

hopeangel

i appreciate your opinion miss pink i really do, but have you read my situation. i am in a really tough spot and if i don't take this place i don't know that i will have the courage to leave.

i should add that this is my 15 year old cat. she is never any problem at all. the cat ah had the problem with is our 1 year old. i don't know what to do with her.

i know i can't live without my cat though ugh!!! this is really hard and too much sometimes.

ARealLady

Ditto what Miss Pink says!

I am a dog owner and remember the hassles trying to find rental property where pets would be accepted at one point in my life. Usually there's a no pets rule because the property owner has had to deal with the expense of cleaning up (carpets!!!!!!!) for every irresponsible tenant with a pet. Eventually that expense gets passed along to the tenants in the form of higher rent.

Come on, Hope! Your goal is to get away (with your cat) from your abusive situation with your AH. If you sneak a cat in where the cat isn't supposed to be you risk 1) having to get rid of the cat ASAP if found out or 2) having your rental terminated immediately....and kiss goodbye to ever getting a rental reference from the landlord in the future. One more thing, some people have serious allergies to fur and can smell cats and dogs a mile away within an enclosed space or react (asthma?) to the presence of dander in the vicinity. Be a good neighbour! Imagine how you would feel if somebody "snuck" a vicious attack dog into their apartment!

ARL

MsGolightly

i would see what the policy is at your place. i know my maintenance is allowed to come in when no one is home during an emergency or if they needed to check something out. i have a dog, though, so it's a bit harder for me to hide him.

hopeangel

ugh, if i have to think on this anymore or make decisions anymore i really think i am just going to EXPLODE. i am getting really depressed. i'm in tears again. i just don't know how to handle this. i do know that the landlord is actually a family friend and if i were to have to leave because of him finding her there and asking me to leave i would. also, if the cat has to go she could stay with my mom or over at our house until i found someplace her and i could both be.

the 15 year old never makes a mess anywhere. this is too hard you guys!!! i get really excited and happy with a solution and then i get deflated.

something has to give.

ARealLady

(((((Hope)))))) As the landlord is a family friend, ask him directly and he might make an exception. Remember, you are allowed to ask; I often forget that too!

ARL

Zoey

I agree with ARL, if you have money, I would explain being desperate and offer to have the apartment cleaned completly when you leave. Ask if anyone has allergy to cat first.
Also you could call a womans help line, women in crisis, perhaps they have temp homes for pets.

LaTeeDa

I agree with ARL, ask upfront. No sneaking, no dishonesty. If the cat cannot come, then you have to make other arrangements. Either for yourself, or for the cat. This is not impossible, just something to deal with. You already have options--your mom. It is better to ask and be upfront than to deal with a messy situation later. You said it is a month-to-month lease. Maybe you try a month with your cat at your moms. Then you ask again. If the answer is no, you deal with it at that time. It may be that the landlord will want you to stay enough to make an exception? You never know.

Baby steps----remember?

L

hopeangel

he already knows that i have a cat. he told me that he could not tell me yes to a cat because if he did he would have to allow others to have one. he did not tell me he would not rent to me though. he did say he has allergies, but he will not be living there. so, i would be afraid to ask again. kinda like, don't ask, don't tell. i could ask him if he would be making unannounced visits.

i really don't think i will have the courage to move anywhere else and don't think i would be happy anywhere else. if i can't live there with my cat i think i will just stay where i am at.

i hate this.

NoChoice

Think about the added stress of hiding your cat would be. You love your cat, you don't want to hide him/her. It takes so much energy to be other than upfront and honest. I know it is hard but maybe this is the HP working again for you? You never know.

Spiritual Seeker

I have been a landlord and had a no pet policy. No one likes being lied to.
However, the rental agreement that I used with my tenants spelled out that I could make inspections but that they would be given notice.
See what your rental agreement says abt inspections.

Pick-a-name

I've gotta agree with this (and all the others in agreement).

Good luck.

Honesty really is the best policy,imo.

FormerDoormat

This isn't about the cat, doing the right thing (which you SHOULD do), or finding the courage to find a place of your own. This is about you not wanting to leave.

If you're not ready to leave, then fine, don't do it. But don't use your cat, your landlord's policy, or your lack of courage as excuses to stay with your husband. You've made a million excuses these past few days. It's time to stop making excuses and be honest with yourself. You hate your current living arrangement, but not enough to leave, so how can you make the best of it until you're ready to move on?

That's it in a nutshell.

Barbara52

If one place doesn't work becasue of their pet policy, find another! Like FD says, you are finding your own excuses and roadblocks here. They can be overcome, by you.

ICU

Here's a thought...what if you asked your potential landlord if you could pay him an extra $200 or $300 deposit for your cat to stay? That way he could use that towards any cleaning/deoderizing that might be needed after you leave. I understand that it's a month-to-month lease, so be sure it would cover the entire time you stayed there, whether it be 1, 2, or 3 months!

ichabod

It IS stressful. We had a cat, which was allowed on our lease. We had to pay a pet deposit and an extra $10 a month. No big deal. Well, at one time we got a second cat without checking with the rental office and it would stress me the heck out every time there was routine maintenance. I'd have to take the day off and hide a cat.

Boy did I feel stupid when I found out that everyone was allowed 2 cats. I spent 5 years hiding poor Mo.

My advice - there are tons of apartments that allow cats. Most in my area do. Keep looking until you find one.

Rella927

Asking up front and being honest is the best policy! I have to agree with what has been said here. ICU has a great idea about asking to pay extra!

When my husband passed away and I had to sell my house and move into an apartment-it was a struggle to find one that would take 2 dogs-and I ended up finding a place actually through my husbands family and asked up front about the dogs-(The apartment was very strict on NO PETS) since they knew me and I was honest they allowed me to move in with my little furry kids! It felt good to be HONEST! It is in my eyes and my life today the only way to live life!

I understand your situation hope and feel for you but it can always be worse-

cdk1972

I tried to hide my cat when i lived in an apartment. I, too, asked first, and was denied, but as you can tell (by my avatar) I am a huge pet lover, and snuck her in anyway. It worked. For awhile. My landlord DID come into my apartment to do emergency maintenance and told me to get rid of her. Let me tell you first-the stress of hiding a pet IS more than you realize-i constantly was stressing when i was away that she would jump in a window, or be seen, etc. and when i was told to get rid of her, there was that rush of trying to get out and find a new place and "re"moving EVERYTHING, which we all know is a pain. Find another place. There ARE places out there. To be honest with you, living in a box would be better than living with an abusive person to me AND/OR my pets. GET OUT. You CAN do it. Don't think about it, just DO it. Good luck to you. I have confidence that this will work out for you.
I just thought of something else, as well. If you have "threatened", or told your husband that you are moving out, and you do NOT move out, what does that do to your credibility? Stand up for yourself. Show him that you will do it for real this time. You are done with his behavior. You are better than this. Don't make this another threat that he will not take seriously.
((())))

miss communicat

just like AH is NOT the only man on the planet who will ever love you, this apt, if the landlord will not allow your cat in, is NOT the only option you have for a home.

Have you called the landlord to explore your situation honestly?
Have you called the DV help line in your area?
Have you looked into other apts?

I agree that you may be creating excuses in resistance to taking the next step. Thats your right and your choice. You can take your time. The only problem is that by staying stuck, you may harm yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. It is important for your recovery that you at least recognize the choice you make instead of allowing yourself to become a victim of circumstance.