I just can’t break up with him
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Join Date: Dec 2005
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Originally Posted by mamaplus2kids 
1. my warning lights are on as I see certain signs. Sometimes, they appear so small and meaningless, but when I sense them I get scared.
2. I am having some trust issues.
3. I knew I was controlling him, but I couldn’t help it.
4. I don’t want him to come over after he’s been drinking/smoking. He inevitably chooses to drink and then he doesn’t come over. That sucks, as I don’t know who he sees when he’s out.
5. he smokes(pot) nearly every day. I am afraid he is an addict…I am just not sure.
6. I have rarely spent an entire day with him, so I don’t know what he does.
7. I am afraid he is unmotivated
8. I'm afraid he will become a financial burden.
9. Alot (of my money) is going to lawyers to get a divorce from my AH.
10. he spends a lot of time in isolation.
11. he doesn’t have a full-time regular job
12. he just wants to paint.
13. he has never made enough to really live on 100%.
14. He spends nearly every night with me, but has no personal belongings here.
15. he rarely takes me out to dinner
16. he doesn’t come with me to events
17. he is spending nights with me without paying
18. his idea of a simple life is too bare-minimum for me
19. he has a tendency of drinking too much on occasion
20. he is jealous.
From your post, it seems like you might be confused. I listed the main items to help see the situation more clearly. Now, this list is pretty complete with powerful reasons to have red flags, yet, I wonder if you could make another list of 20 things you love about him and this relationship?
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Originally Posted by mamaplus2kids
...when he asks whether he can come over, I can't and don't want to say "no." What would happen if I did? Perhaps he'll end up in the arms of someone else.....
Someone else here has a great quote on her signature line:
"Never commit yourself to someone for whom you are just an option"
(or something along those lines)
because, if you do, you will feel all uneasy and confused inside (kinda like the way you are feeling now).
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Join Date: Dec 2006
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Thank you all
I keep trying to put myself in a relationship too when I have realized and had it reiterated by all of you that a good old relationship with me is what I need! Thanks for your post and all the replies. I am so much better off alone. Life is good. Thanks.
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