Barbara52

I am sorry he is taking his problems out on the cat. Please do take care of yourself as well since I think hurting you is only a few steps away from hurting the cat.

Pajarito

I agree with LTD. It's the cycle that I think can screw all of us up- whether the A is physically abusive or not. Abuse of any kind goes through a cycle. My therapist also explained to me that the abuser cannot maintain the momentum necessary to keep that "honeymoon" phase up. Healthy people don't cycle like that. It takes a lot of energy for an abuser to keep up the behavior that makes you feel good. I felt like I was starving for that from my AH- so when he had that little burst of energy that kept him engaged in family life and our relationship I ate it up! But I would soon be disappointed when he couldn't keep it up. I always wondered if I was doing something wrong. No- it's confusing, but I am becoming very clear on it now. HE has not got the ability to be the person I was hoping he was- at all times. He has had his moments, but a person cannot live for moments- unless you want to starve to death.

kelsh

I don't have much time tonight but once I moved to little more than an apple picker's cabin to get away from the verbal and physical abuse of my husband before he was arrested for csa with our daughter.

I gave her the bedroom and I slept on the couch but it wasn't for long because the judge wanted me and our daughter back in the house until the divorce was final and my husband in timbucktoo until he went to jail. So he was out...living with a friend and wasn't allowed anywhere near us...but he broke that restraining order many times as observed by the neighbors. I never saw him but knew he would come in the house when I was at work and my daughter at school...sheriff's office couldn't do anything unless they saw him violating the restraining order. Lot of good they did. He was court ordered to pay the house payment because he had three times the income I did but he didn't do it so I got to sell the house and his share of the money went for back payments and taxes.

Please...Please take care of yourself....you can compare yourself to that scared kitty cat...you are only human...you need tender loving care.

kelsh