Middle of the Road on a Hard Path
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4
Middle of the Road on a Hard Path
Hello. I am actually new to this forum but am the family member of an alcoholic so thought I would start here rather than the 'newcomers' section.
Today is actually a crisis day, as my husband has been struggling over the last several days. Although he is an alcholic his actual addiction of choice is video games. I have tried to be open and supportive in his decision to 'go it alone' (ie no AA, individual therapy, etc) but this weekend his addiction has been putting him through the meat grinder, and in doing so has taken me part of the way through it also.
He called me several hours ago stating he wanted so badly to return to the games, but he knows logically it's a bad idea. I am not sure how I can support him other than being repetative (ie saying you can do it, I support your decision to not play, you made the conscious decision that you couldn't play, etc) which I'm not sure is helpful at all.
I want him to go to a support group of some sort, but realize it's ultimately his choice and all I can do is encourage him, however he has consistently turned to me for answers to what he can do when he has a craving.
Please help
Today is actually a crisis day, as my husband has been struggling over the last several days. Although he is an alcholic his actual addiction of choice is video games. I have tried to be open and supportive in his decision to 'go it alone' (ie no AA, individual therapy, etc) but this weekend his addiction has been putting him through the meat grinder, and in doing so has taken me part of the way through it also.
He called me several hours ago stating he wanted so badly to return to the games, but he knows logically it's a bad idea. I am not sure how I can support him other than being repetative (ie saying you can do it, I support your decision to not play, you made the conscious decision that you couldn't play, etc) which I'm not sure is helpful at all.
I want him to go to a support group of some sort, but realize it's ultimately his choice and all I can do is encourage him, however he has consistently turned to me for answers to what he can do when he has a craving.
Please help
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Hi Zelda,
I don't know anything about video game addiction (except for what I've read on things like this: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/...n1773956.shtml ) but it seems to be an escape just like any other addiction.
I would always recommend someone meet with a professional to create a detox plan.
Going it alone, and going it cold turkey, is just not the smartest thing to do.
This is primarily a board about alcoholism, but perhaps someone out there has some expertise in these other kinds of addictions too....
Good luck
GL
I don't know anything about video game addiction (except for what I've read on things like this: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/...n1773956.shtml ) but it seems to be an escape just like any other addiction.
I would always recommend someone meet with a professional to create a detox plan.
Going it alone, and going it cold turkey, is just not the smartest thing to do.
This is primarily a board about alcoholism, but perhaps someone out there has some expertise in these other kinds of addictions too....
Good luck
GL
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
I can believe it - I have known guys who spent literally the whole weekend form friday night till the wee hours on sunday playing games. However, there is little risk of him becoming physically addicted, losing his liver, etc. It's more behavioral than anything. Because of that, it's incongruous to couple vid game addiction with alcoholism or drug addiction.
I will make this observation - it's pointless for him to call you saying he needs help. If the matter is really that serious, he needs a therapist or ocd group to help him. You don't want to end up being the video game police, or beer police.
I will make this observation - it's pointless for him to call you saying he needs help. If the matter is really that serious, he needs a therapist or ocd group to help him. You don't want to end up being the video game police, or beer police.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4
I don't think anyone is listening to me - he's an addict who is losing control and I'm struggling to keep myself together let alone the pressures he's putting on me - it doesn't matter to me what his addiction of choice is, he is an addict who is struggling to keep it together and that struggle is affecting me. I'm the one asking for help, I can't control him, but I'm trying to control me. I'm asking for help for me.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hello Zelda, and welcome to SoberRecovery 
I'm sorry you are going thru such hardships. As far as help for you, there's several things you can try that have worked for me. Start by reading thru the "sticky" posts at the top of this forum. There's a lot of great information there.
While you're doing that, pick up your phone book and look up the local office of al-anon. Give them a call and have them find you a meeting that is convenient to you. At those meetings they have tons of great books and pamphlets full of wonderful information. Al-anon was originally started for families of alcoholics, but over the last half century they have expanded and now welcome families of _any_ addiction.
I have known many alcoholics who "switch" addictions. They will switch to drugs, gambling, sex, and yes even video games. Anything to keep the mind sedated.
Whadya think?
Mike
I'm sorry you are going thru such hardships. As far as help for you, there's several things you can try that have worked for me. Start by reading thru the "sticky" posts at the top of this forum. There's a lot of great information there.
While you're doing that, pick up your phone book and look up the local office of al-anon. Give them a call and have them find you a meeting that is convenient to you. At those meetings they have tons of great books and pamphlets full of wonderful information. Al-anon was originally started for families of alcoholics, but over the last half century they have expanded and now welcome families of _any_ addiction.
I have known many alcoholics who "switch" addictions. They will switch to drugs, gambling, sex, and yes even video games. Anything to keep the mind sedated.
Whadya think?
Mike
Keepingmyjoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
Zelda, I am so sorry you are going thru this. Seems like some days you just could jump off a bridge from all the anxiety, right? Mikes suggestion about checking out alanon is great. You can learn with their help how to help yourself...detaching with love so that you don't go out of your mind and so that you can live your life with some peace.
No matter what addiction, it causes so much stress. You hang in there....I will be thinking of you.
Hugs.
No matter what addiction, it causes so much stress. You hang in there....I will be thinking of you.
Hugs.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Tell him to go to any 12 steps meeting.
GA, AA, NA.
i can related to him about being a vedio game junkie.
Going to casinos and tapping the progressive mechine was progression.lol
I've always had that problem sense i was a kid.
It's just and form of escape or another form how my addictions
shows it's ugly head.
Maybe he might meet people that can understand him and knows.
I don't have an over eating problems..so i would know how that gose.
I don't stuff my feelings.
I just don't process them so i escape to cope.
There many mechaism at work with vedio game..the flashing of the
screen stimulate my brain..on top of the story lines of a game.
A game is a fantacy..I can escape into another world and not have
to face life. Why would I choose to escape into a vedio game.
it still stimulate my mind, but most importantly...I have control.
Why ???..It's a habit i picked up as a child, not having control
over that fact that i was going to get my head bashed in.
it was a secret and I don't talkig about very much...you know what
I'm saying ?
And what is this BS,about life on life's term that you speak of ???
Life on who's term ? who's freanken rules ? who's double standards ?
Who's freaken morals ??? who's god ?
You have to give me something to return to...I escape for reasons...
becuase I could no longer cope.
Addictions are but symtoms of my deeper problems
Yes i can get over the detox stages..How can learn how to cope better
so I don't want to escape again?.and why in the hell do i have cope all de
time..It gets old and it wears me out ?
GA, AA, NA.
i can related to him about being a vedio game junkie.
Going to casinos and tapping the progressive mechine was progression.lol
I've always had that problem sense i was a kid.
It's just and form of escape or another form how my addictions
shows it's ugly head.
Maybe he might meet people that can understand him and knows.
I don't have an over eating problems..so i would know how that gose.
I don't stuff my feelings.
I just don't process them so i escape to cope.
There many mechaism at work with vedio game..the flashing of the
screen stimulate my brain..on top of the story lines of a game.
A game is a fantacy..I can escape into another world and not have
to face life. Why would I choose to escape into a vedio game.
it still stimulate my mind, but most importantly...I have control.
Why ???..It's a habit i picked up as a child, not having control
over that fact that i was going to get my head bashed in.
it was a secret and I don't talkig about very much...you know what
I'm saying ?
And what is this BS,about life on life's term that you speak of ???
Life on who's term ? who's freanken rules ? who's double standards ?
Who's freaken morals ??? who's god ?
You have to give me something to return to...I escape for reasons...
becuase I could no longer cope.
Addictions are but symtoms of my deeper problems
Yes i can get over the detox stages..How can learn how to cope better
so I don't want to escape again?.and why in the hell do i have cope all de
time..It gets old and it wears me out ?
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