muphasa

my friend of 20 something years has gotten involved with a man i'll call tod... tod is a crack addict who is "in recovery" although it seems like weekly he is falling off the wagon... he has brought my friend into this world and i believe she is now using... she also has problems with alcohol... and honostly i believe she has some sort of love addiction problem to if that is possible... she is also struggling with depression... and i truly believe she may hurt herself if steps arent taken to try to help her... several of her close friends have finally started talking and have pieced this all together since she would only tell each one of us part of stories and 1/2 truthes... we are thinking of planning an intervention... of course i'm new to all of this and have been on line for several days researching all of this... i'm hoping that someone out there has experienced something similar and can offer some good advise...

Pick-a-name

Hi.........besides lots of reading,posting,Alanon (all for you ),I'd also suggest the book: Love First (see http://www.lovefirst.net)

Books that have helped me alot are: Under the Influence, Getting Them Sober (see http://www.GettingThemSober.com for a few preview chapters) and Codependent No More.

You can't control or cure addiction...she has to want that and do the work. While I believe in interventions can help (tried one but exAH did not seek treatment), I think you have to be healthy enough yourself and know about addiction enough to participate in them and then stick to the boundaries you set if she does not choose to seek treatment (which is a possibility).

Best of luck to you and your friend. That is great you have found other friends that care enough to risk joining you in attempting an intervention. Many of my ex's friends and family would not because they were afraid he would be angry at them....

Stick around here and you will learn much that will help you and your relationship with your friend.