8675309

I did it. I got the money together and paid my lawyer last Thursday to start the divorce proceedings. He told me that he wouldn't be able to get to it until Monday (tomorrow).

So, the Ah calls this morning and is fishing for me and our son to do something with him, either take in a movie or hang out at his duplex and watch movies. Of course I'm not comfortable with this for me anyway, so I asked our son if he wanted to do any of this and his response was no.

Fast forward - getting ready to do the grocery shopping. My son says that he doesn't want to go and wants to hang out with Dad. He calls his father, tells him he has changed his mind, and I take him over there. I continue about my day and get everything done. I call to let them know I'm done and the AH asks me if he can take us to dinner, I agreed.

We go to dinner and not much conversation is held except with our son. He brings us back home and I decided I needed to tell him what was coming tomorrow. I just didn't want it to be a surprise for him. Well, that didn't go over very well at all. I told him I wanted to talk to him outside before he left. We went into the garage where I told him that I managed to get the money together to pay the lawyer. I told him that he would get papers tomorrow or Tuesday and that I just wanted to be up front with him so that he had no surprises. Well, I think he was in shock. He just put his head down and headed for his car and said " okay, have a good night" got in and left.

Did he think I was only pulling his chain and that the day would never come? Did he really think there was still a chance after everything that has happened and as clear as I have been? I hope he can come to terms with it. I assume that the roller coaster ride isn't near over yet. I did what I felt was the right thing to do by telling him. I feel sad but we are where we are and there is no turning back only looking to the future.

CatsPajamas

There's no telling what he thinks or feels. Your AH may get worse, he may find sobriety, he may just keep doing what he's doing.All you can do is what's right for you and your son.

Be a bit careful ... and extra gentle with yourself in the next few weeks. You have a lot of changes happening all at once.

Your recovery sounds good. Are you able to get to any Al Anon meetings? Thhere are some good ones in your area!

Cats (from Des Moines )

8675309

Taking care of myself is my plan. I know this wont be easy no matter how certain I am in my decision.

I will admit, I haven't been to an Al-anon meeting in a while and should probably get back to one. There is a good one that I like to attend on Friday. I will see if I can make arrangements to get there.

For the most part, I've been doing real well and am able to put most things into perspective, stay focused on my life, and keep my AH at a distance.

keepingmyjoy

Sounds like a good plan. Hugs to you.

Barbara52

Good for you! You are making the plans and taking the actions to do what you see as right for you and your son. That is important indeed. {hugs}