Nothing changes if nothing changes

Old 11-14-2007, 01:49 PM
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Nothing changes if nothing changes

I think it was the waking to the beer can popping at six am on Sunday morning that made me do it. I was out the door in 15 minutes and never returned until evening. I just couldn't be there that day. Needed some time to think.He now informs me that winter lay-off (which is endured every winter) will probably come on Saturday...

So after much thought/stress concerning what to do. I applied at the local college today. I need an education to get a good job. (he will probably blow a gasket when he finds out, oh well he'll blow it anyway, wasted money he'll say)

I just did the study test for the assest because I have it tomorrow....I did so horrible on the math! I remember no algebra at all, very little geometry, and even the basic math part really sucked. I did great on the reading/writing part tho. But I am really scared to take the test tomorrow. I already know how dumb in math I am, now they will know too.

Maybe I shouldn't of even gone in and applied, but nothing changes if nothing changes right? I need positive changes in my life and I don't have the skills for a good job and hate the one I have. So....I am making a change, I just hope that they let me in. JUst needed to tell someone what I'm feeling right now-scared-change in never easy for me.
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Old 11-14-2007, 02:00 PM
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Congratulations on making such a big step! Education is a great thing no matter what happens in your future. Good luck on the test.
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Old 11-14-2007, 02:08 PM
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good for you for making the choice to go back to school! you could always refresh yourself in math by looking at some websites or stopping by a bookstore and looking in their study guide section for math books. you're taking a great step for you!
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Old 11-14-2007, 03:26 PM
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How great for you to make your mind up and do it. In order to cope, you have had to be a strong person. Redirect your efforts on yourself and you will be surprised how well you do!!!
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Old 11-14-2007, 04:26 PM
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Good for you!! Going back to school is a smart move that you're doing for YOU. What he thinks about it means less than nothing.

There are often jobs available to students through the job placement office that aren't offered to other people -- internships, work study, and job jobs. You may find a whole new world of opportunity, and maybe find something that really makes you happy.

If the test is an assessment -- assessment tests are just that -- for assessing where to put you. They help the school recommend where to place you in the progression of classes...somewhere on the ruler between College Basic Math and Genius Calculus. I did terribly at my math test too -- and I'm a computer geek!! So don't worry. The tests are to help them help you. If you're worried, the library often has great books that will help. Ask the reference librarian to help you find them.

We're so proud of you, Starr.
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Old 11-14-2007, 04:35 PM
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good job making a huge step
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Old 11-14-2007, 04:36 PM
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Good for you sweetie !!!! You will be just fine .... it all starts somewhere and it is school for you.... and guess what I am thinking of doing the same thing and I am 50...soooo we are never too old to learn hun...I need a good job too..and like you I know I am not going to make the future I want to have without it. Hang in there ok.

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Old 11-14-2007, 04:56 PM
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I turn 55 next week and I went "back to college" this fall. Best move I made in terms of confronting the realities of the present job market and ensuring some more financial stability for myself. One thing I realized was that having a partner (especially an A!) was no guarantee of a secure future regardless of XABF's "dreams and schemes".

Don't sweat the math assessment. If it turns out that you have to upgrade your math skills, you'll be able to do it according to other "oldies" I know who couldn't believe they finally understood the subject. I cheated....LOL. Shopped around until I found a college which did not require an upper-level math mark for the certification I am doing. Maybe check out the requirements for the programme you are thinking of enrolling in and speak to advisors within the programme FIRST!

ARL
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Old 11-19-2007, 07:02 PM
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Well, I did it. I took the tests and as predicted I didn't do well in Math. But I did it! I felt really old, I'm 48, sitting in the testing room with those kids who "know" what they want to do with their lives. I know what I don't want to do, the job I have now and live the way I live for the rest of my life. (Thanks for your posts Arealady and Janitw as I was getting cold feet because of my age)

I told him today that I'm going back to school. I got the eyeball roll thing, the glare, the hand thing he does when disgusted and the sigh/grunt. This will be discussed more when he is really drunk, I'm sure. He will steam a bit then he'll storm about it.

He is now on winter lay-off. With in the first few minutes of me getting up this morning he was getting mad at me and continued to find things to rant about all day. This will be a l o n g winter. I don't know if I can do it. I don't think I can.

Two terms of school will deplete my savings that I have saved up for move out time. But this seems like the right thing to do. I have applied for financial aid but doubt I will get much as my college daughter doesn't.

Anyway...that's where I am today.... Now to figure out what to take....
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Old 11-19-2007, 07:47 PM
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Do you have community colleges where you live Starr? My local one has given me a grant to receive free computer training courses. If you are posting here, you obviously know the internet. Now try gaining skills that will last you a lifetime through county funded programs! It will help you down the road if you decide to seek employment.

Dont worry about weak math skills at this point. Just get educated on what is important in todays job market. Its a breeze, Im serious! And if he is on winter layoff, your income level should qualify you for the no charge educational computer classes. Check it out.
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Old 11-19-2007, 09:00 PM
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Starr, you've inspired me.

You have picked yourself up by your boot straps and you are taking care of yourself. I am 41 years old and think all the time about going back to school, and I have a pretty lucrative creative career. But I never did get my college degree and I have always regretted that.

I have to say this has been a pretty difficult couple of weeks for me since my break-up with exabf. I have been slowly sliding down into a hole. I can feel it happening and yet feel very little inspiration to do anything about it.

Reading your post really hit me. I'm feeling very inspired by you -- my hero today. I feel a little ray of hope that was not there earlier.Thank you for that.

I hope to continue to read future posts about all of your progresses.

I wish you the very best.

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Old 11-20-2007, 02:56 AM
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Starr,

Hang in there and do what you need to do to protect your peace of mind. College common rooms and libraries are a great place to get away from him if/when you have to....lots of studying to do....and there's no reason you should have to put up with one minute of his drunken raving. The world belongs to you. Walk away, and walk further away if you have to...

I went back to school at 45 to try to get the degree I'd never been able to get before (I was too busy taking care of everybody else) You will do fine. Talk to the college's financial aid office. I discovered there were lots of programs for people like me -- women going back to school, older women, women who were the first in their family line to go for a degree...you might be surprised what they can dig up.

All the best,
GL
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Old 11-20-2007, 04:34 AM
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Starr - you ROCK! You're an inspiration!

I got a similar eyeball-rolling, icy silent treatment from XABF a few years back when I told him I was going back to my music and taking guitar lessons. The lessons were a blast!

I've found that the most treasured memories I have of my life were times when I did something different, tried something new - even if I fell flat on my butt (ha ha ha) . I was scared, nervous and anxious - but I felt alive!
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Old 11-20-2007, 04:49 AM
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Starr, you have done an amazing thing for yourself. Congratulations!!! I once heard someone say that at the age of 50 they were going back to school to become a lawyer and was met with this reply. "Do you know how old you'll be when you graduate?" Her reply was, "Yes, the same age I'd be if I didn't go back to school". Education is a wonderful thing. Good luck!
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Old 11-20-2007, 05:08 AM
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Fantastic! It is so good to read of you making such postiive steps in yoiur life.
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Old 11-20-2007, 06:00 AM
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Starr good for you! This is a huge step to take! And you did it!!!

I went back to school 2 years ago at age 37 and felt the same way but it felt good after I did it! I have gained a lot more education and it is a great feeling!

Have you thought about taking some computer courses? A lot of places job wise require this and it would cost less to go to community college and take computer courses-Just a thought-

Great positive steps! Keep going!!
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Old 11-20-2007, 06:24 AM
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You did good lady!!!
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Old 11-20-2007, 06:40 AM
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Starr.........great news!!!! How exciting!

On the slim chance this is applicable(there is a branch of the same university my daughter attends in our area): My daughter is in college now,like yours is. I found out from a friend of hers that her university has a special multi-student rate (that I did not read about in any literature!) that if there is more than one family member enrolled at the same time,the tuition charge is halved for the second student! Like others posted,there may be other "special" rates,etc for the taking so be sure to check all options. It never hurts to ask!

Best of luck and sounds like you will be busy with all this during "winter-layoff".

p.s. My kids tested poorly in math,too and were put in a class that took that into account. (Me,too,35yrs ago!) Like I told them.....with a class like that (although to do the best that they could) you just have to pass it,not set the math-world on fire!
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Old 11-20-2007, 07:41 AM
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Good luck, Starr - it's never too late to learn.
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Old 11-20-2007, 08:29 AM
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Star...great job! I too went back to school, started in summer, and I am 45! But, I too knew that if I ever wanted to be able to support myself and my youngest that I needed some education to do it. It has not been the easiest thing to do, but I am very proud of myself for doing it...and YOU should be too!!
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