Shiningthrough

I came home from an Alanon meeting tonight and was verbally attacked by my ABF. I knew he was getting more and more resentful in the past two weeks about me attending meeting. I have been going for about 8 months. tonight he just let loose on how he really thought it was a bunch of BS and a waste of my time. He's angry that he had to be home early to "watch" our kids (boy 3,girl 6). He said he could of been working instead of putting them to bed. He said a lot of hurtful things regarding how I failed him but he never once took responsibility for his part. He decided to not be monogamous about 6 months ago and has since then cheated, introduced girls to my kids and lied about it. I just feel like every time i start to feel better and have an ounce of self esteem and self worth and start acting as if he tries to squash my hope for a new way of life. The good part is that I know this feeling won't be here too long and I can pick up where I left off tomorrow. For right now (1:10 am) I feel a little beat up, sad and hurt. It reinforces my need to leave this toxic relationship. I have big dreams of happiness and love for my kids and I.

Spinach

Good luck.
It sounds like a nightmare that you have been trying to do all the right things.
Guess some boundaries can't be stretched any further.
It's a sobering thought how when in full force , we avoid all understanding that the drink and us have anything to do with the difficulties around us.
John.

Seren

"Always remember, your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come!"

So true.

My ex-husband was not an alcoholic. However, he did have an affair and file for divorce. Once I started counseling to get through it all and became stronger and more independent, then the verbal abuse began because he could sense the change in me and the way I interacted with him.

It seems as though your ABF is 'upping' his abuse game because he senses he is losing that control. I hope you will keep looking toward the future that you want and will keep working to get there!!

Sending hugs, S.

MsPINKAcres

"Never let me imagine that my satisfaction with life depends on what someone else may do" ODAT in Al-Anon pg 234

Everyone deserves to live Happy, Joyous and Free ~

sending you good thoughts, prayers and strength to find you strength and courage to seek what is your HP's path for you & your children to be Happy, Joyous and Free.

pink hugs

dandylion

Shining--just because someone is not happy with you for some reason--doesn't necessarily mean that you have to change your actions to please them (a very codie trait)!

Take the attitude: "He can stay mad until he gets glad". Guess what--the world will not stop spinning o n it's axis just because he is displeased. He is not king of the Forest.

dandylion

AnvilheadII

It reinforces my need to leave this toxic relationship. I have big dreams of happiness and love for my kids and I.

can we help you pack? i am glad to hear you want out and i hope you have a plan and are earnestly working towards it.

as for him. you're leaving anyways. what HE says really doesn't hold much weight any more. he's complaining because he had to spend time with his children??? at bedtime? perhaps the best part of the day, getting tucked in and getting read a story???? and YOU are selfish???? pffffft. what a jerk. what a hugely selfish jerk.