When do they hit rock bottom?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by CBrown 
I almost wish my XABF would have a medical emergency of some sort. Maybe it would be his "bottom." He is so egocentric he thinks he's bulletproof. If he had something hit him like that, maybe his ego would kick in and he'd do something about saving himself. As it is, he thinks he can drink hard indefinitely and live through it.
It seems like it would be better than his heart giving out without warning. Then again, sometimes that seems like it would be a blessing for him, too. **sigh**
It seems like it would be better than his heart giving out without warning. Then again, sometimes that seems like it would be a blessing for him, too. **sigh**
Eventually just about all alcoholics have health issues or medical emergencies - it just isn't possible to drink that much and do all that damage and not have some kind of medical consequence. I guess there will be those who beat those odds - just like the chronic smoker who never gets cancer. But when you think about it IF those emergencies truly helped them hit rock bottom then MANY more would remain sober and in consistent recovery.
For some it might be frightening but I also think for MOST it is not enough to keep them off the booze. My ex came out of the hospital after his second
episode of vomiting and defecating blood and drank again the next day.
For those who last a little longer, many will go back again, they just can't help themselves - that is why the statistics of alcoholics actually staying sober is SO low.
I read all about those statistics. And those people who remained sober for a lifetime, but sadly there are MANY who go back in a day, a week, a month, a year, 5 years etc. That is the reality - that is the likelihood. And given the horrible life I was living WITH an alcoholic and the chances of him continuing - I wasn't going to ruin MY life and go right down the tubes with him.
Not trying to be a pessimist - but I believed as you do. That a medical emergency would scare him into quitting - but it doesn't really work that way. The alcohol has such a grasp on their brain that it convinces them to have just one more and they go right back at it - even heavier then they did before the emergency.
In addition - I wouldn't wish to EVER witness such a horrific thing as esophageal varices or wish it on my worst enemy. For me that too was reason enough to get the hell out - it is worse then watching the grizzliest, bloodiest horror movie - accept it is REAL life.
4th 'medical emergency' killed my exhusband - thank GOD I was not there to see all that blood and vomit and find him lying dead 5 days after he had passed away. That kind of stuff would have scarred me for life.
It took 2 more years of drinking after his SECOND medical emergency to end his life. I have been gone for over 2 years - because I left and did not have false hope, and beat the denial demon that had me for a while too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: nashville, tn
Posts: 28
The demons won with my ah days ago....
My AH decided to skip rock bottom - he was buried a week ago today. He died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound to the head. No clue, no notice, no note, no goodbye...he is gone. He left a path of pain for me, our children and grandchildren - none of us will ever be the same. With God as my witness, this tragedy will not claim another victim.
If you want to read my first post after the funeral - with all of the details - look for "The Demons won...."
Sometimes, they skip "rock bottom".
If you want to read my first post after the funeral - with all of the details - look for "The Demons won...."
Sometimes, they skip "rock bottom".
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by pepperpod
My AH decided to skip rock bottom - he was buried a week ago today. He died of a self-inflicted gun shot wound to the head. No clue, no notice, no note, no goodbye...he is gone. He left a path of pain for me, our children and grandchildren - none of us will ever be the same. With God as my witness, this tragedy will not claim another victim.
If you want to read my first post after the funeral - with all of the details - look for "The Demons won...."
Sometimes, they skip "rock bottom".
If you want to read my first post after the funeral - with all of the details - look for "The Demons won...."
Sometimes, they skip "rock bottom".
Just wondering - how could this tragedy claim another life with him gone? Maybe when he was living, but not now - right? I mean - you don't mean it would end your life or your childrens right? I am sure your grief counselor will help you - I never knew anyone who commited suicide but it is so devistating, because they hurt everyone they leave behind.
I have faith that time will heal your wounds and you will accept in time that he is at peace now and find your own peace and happiness as well.
God Bless You and your children.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Zachary, LA
Posts: 3
You're not alone
I have a friend guy whose an alcoholic; Love him to death and has bent over backwards for him. He won't stop drinking and encouraging him to see the doctor and get help is pointless. I'm carrying his child; I'm 2 months as I speak. Everyday he gets sicker-I don't know what to expect next, but there is a greater power higher than this universe that can only save, heal, and change. Let go.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
