dating an alcoholic
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by sad#3 
I don't know if I'm supposed to say this here, but I don't like alcoholics.
Those of us who are sober and working our program of recovery don't mind if you hate all of us. My ex is a pill addict, and I went thru a while where I deeply hated the "disease". I don't anymore, hate didn't get me anything I wanted, it just made me hurt more.I'm sorry that you are going thru so much with your lady. It really sucks. I've been there, and for me it eventually all got worked out as a result of my getting involved in al-anon and working that "program". I hope it works out for you too.
Mike
Not a bad place to be....
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: LOUISIANA
Posts: 179
Alanon is the best thing that ever happened to me....saved my life....sorry you are going through this....I would really suggest getting to an Alanon meeting and meeting face to face other people who have dealt with the same issues....oh and also the book "Getting Them Sober" really helped me see things in a different way.....you can read excerpts from this book at www.gettingthemsober.com
Hope this helps....prayers and hugs to you!
Hope this helps....prayers and hugs to you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Columbia, SC
Posts: 11
Hi everyone,
I have taken in each an every one of your comments and I truly believe that with the words of wisdom from you guys and some faith from myself, I will do the right thing. No I never married him, because I am already divorced. I married at age 20 and divorced at 21. My ex-husband was ont eh other side, he was hooked on meth. So it seems that I have traded one bad trait for another. I have not had good luck with finding the one for me that will love me 100% just as I will for them. I know it will come, I just hope I don't let the oppurtunity pass me by dealing with the second mistake. You guys are great, it's good to know that there actually are caring people out there. Lot's of love!!! XXX OOO XXX OOO
I have taken in each an every one of your comments and I truly believe that with the words of wisdom from you guys and some faith from myself, I will do the right thing. No I never married him, because I am already divorced. I married at age 20 and divorced at 21. My ex-husband was ont eh other side, he was hooked on meth. So it seems that I have traded one bad trait for another. I have not had good luck with finding the one for me that will love me 100% just as I will for them. I know it will come, I just hope I don't let the oppurtunity pass me by dealing with the second mistake. You guys are great, it's good to know that there actually are caring people out there. Lot's of love!!! XXX OOO XXX OOO
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
My ex-husband was ont eh other side, he was hooked on meth. So it seems that I have traded one bad trait for another. I have not had good luck with finding the one for me that will love me 100% just as I will for them. I know it will come, I just hope I don't let the oppurtunity pass me by dealing with the second mistake.
Beyond Co-dependency by Melody Beattie has excellent chapters on how we can avoid toxic relationships in the future. Many of us are drawn to a need to fix other people and we mistake our attraction to them for this thing called "chemistry" (their chemicals...lol). She shows us how to recognize the red flags of potentially disastrous matches and explains "availability" very well. People with addictions are NOT available. I think that a lot of our ability to recognize bad relationship material comes from the work which we do on ourselves before embarking on a new relationship (I hadn't done that work before I got involved with XABF....oh, I thought I had!!!).
ARL
Beyond Co-dependency by Melody Beattie has excellent chapters on how we can avoid toxic relationships in the future. Many of us are drawn to a need to fix other people and we mistake our attraction to them for this thing called "chemistry" (their chemicals...lol). She shows us how to recognize the red flags of potentially disastrous matches and explains "availability" very well. People with addictions are NOT available. I think that a lot of our ability to recognize bad relationship material comes from the work which we do on ourselves before embarking on a new relationship (I hadn't done that work before I got involved with XABF....oh, I thought I had!!!).
ARL
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