cagefree

Recovery has really helped me obtain such a different perspective on life and my role in it. I've learned my role and ownership in placing my entire being in someone who had no place holding my heart, my devotion, my trust and and receiving the benefits of my sacrifices. I have learned that I can love XABF and wish him well at the same time, but not want him in my life. I've learned it's okay to feel ugly feelings and that it's necessary sometimes, especially if I want to get at why I'm so angry or others push certain buttons.

So, I drove past XABF and he saw me looking at him as I went past. For once - finally - he did not immediately pick up the phone and try to contact me like the other times...all weekend, not a word. Blissful silence. What a strangely wonderful sensation I'm feeling today - he's leaving me alone, respecting my boundaries (finally).

Perhaps it's because I'm finally respecting mine.

I feel such a sense of self worth today, I'm on cloud nine. I think back to all of the hard work I've done and I'm starting to see real tangible results. It's not just XABF, but coworkers, friends, family - they all seem to respect me more. I respect myself more as well.

Today is a good day Thought I'd share.

fluffyflea

Thanks for the post.

Ngaire

BayouSelf

Thanks for sharing that....its something that takes a lot of time, but when you really start seeing results little by little, it just makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside! I too am now seeing the benefits and what a wonderful feeling! It just keeps getting better and better.

hbb

Cage, that is so awesome! What a great post! I've missed you on here, so glad to hear your doing so well. I have days like that to lately and respecting myself alot more too, like you said with others like family, co-workers and such. Refreshing to read this today, thanks

Rella927

Cage that is great news! way to go on your recovery! If we keep working it, it keeps going up from here!

One thing though I do not understand is why would you even drive past his house?

Great job Cage!

cagefree

I didn't drive by his place - his job has him working many locations and outdoors (I forget you guys don't know that) So, Saturday I was out driving around christmas shopping (I start early in the year!)...my car just happened to go by him working at a site near where I was shopping and he looked up just as I looked at him - we saw each other. The last time that happened, he tried to call me.

Silence this time...it really is golden