Blues2

Hi.. My husband is an alcoholic. He hit his bottom in April of this year. By the end of April he was in private treatment and going to AA. He was sober for over 100 days. On the weekend of Aug 3rd with a house full of company he drank. He is a functioning alcoholic. He works and then comes home and has 6 beers and just shuts down. He has never been abusive. He never yelled until today. We have a wonderful marriage. Except this... He started drinking 3 weeks ago that I know of. I asked him before that he said no but I know yes... It is the lies that hurts the most. I do not trust him.He thinks I do not know and I do and he can say no right to my face. I can not look at him and find I do not want to be in the same room with him. I tried to talk to him last night and it was good.. we had a great talk . Then when I went to bed I saw that he is taking my rx pain killer(that I hide from him) he has taken it before and that is another issue. I felt like all that he said to me was crap. How do I separate myself from this. I love him and know it is a disease but it is getting where I do not want to be with him. He is not trying. I said something today in passing about maybe he should leave and work on it... he got so pissed off. We have 2 kids 10 and 5. they have no idea. I want to go to an meeting and a friend said she would go with me. I am just scared.. I am looking for some support on how I am going to make it through this... HELP!!!!!!!:praying :praying

FormerDoormat

Hi and welcome to the forum. I would take your friend up on her offer and get to an Alanon meeting asap. Alanon helped me realize that I am in deep denial when I describe a wonderful marriage as one that includes a partner who:

• Comes home every night, downs a six pack, and then shuts down
• Lies to me
• Is untrustworthy
• Steals prescription pain medications from me
• Renders me unable to look him in the face or be in the same room with him

Alanon not only helped me break through my denial and see my relationship as it really was, but it helped me redefine what love is.

Barbara52

Welcome Blues2.

One thing that jumped out at me was your statement that your kids don't know. Don't be too sure aout that. Kids are very observant and see much more than we tend to give them credit for.

If you hesitate to take action (of whatever sort you think is right) for yourself, thinking about your children may help you do so. Ask yourself whether you want them growing up thinking excessive drinking is OK? That's what they will do.

Blues2

today my husband stayed in bed all day and I told him that he could not continue to do this. He said he wants to stop. I told him I did not believe him that he had to do something, get back to AA or his individual counselor. I am feeling stronger today and not so alone in this. I appreciate the feedback and the support. I know I can not make him sober but I know I can get help for myself... I can not do this for him. I have to emotionally separate me and the kids from this.