FormerDoormat

Had to take care of my number one favorite person on the list--me! So here's a rundown of what I gave myself in preparation for the upcoming holiday season:

• Another fabulous new haircut, color, and highlights (a much sassier "do" than I would normally sport)
• Two new winter coats (a traditional winter white pea coat that is just spectacular and a fashion-forward double-breasted baby-doll dress coat in black with big gold buttons)
• Leather gloves and scarves to go with my new coats
• A new black and white houndstooth purse that looks great with both coats
• Five new pairs of winter shoes (one pair of practical shoes, a pair of suede boots, and three pairs of stilettos--sexy!!)
• Two new sweaters (one for work and a bejeweled one for holiday get-togethers)
• Two new blazers (one in tweed for work, one in gold brocade for the holidays)
• Several pairs of pants
• Accessories to go with everything
• Some sexy new bras and panties (in case I meet a studly man at a holiday party...)

Now that I've taken care of myself, I can focus on shopping for others. And if you're wondering how it is that I can afford all these fabulous new things right before the holidays, here's the answer:

When I started to recognize my worth, others started to recognize it, too. The end result--this year my income more than quadrupled. How's that for fabulous results? And all this happened because I let go of my anger, stopped worrying about what others were doing or not doing, and started to focus on more positive things--like the things in life that bring me joy.

Each of us is capable of living an abundant, joyful life. All we have to do is choose it. You know what will bring you joy this holiday season, so stop complaining and focusing on what others are doing and get out there and grab a hold of life. Happiness awaits. Happy upcoming holidays to all!

dakota69

A great post for me to read today. Just sitting hear battling with myself over how I am too focused and concerned on what AH is doing.
One of our relationship issues has always been the fact that he never wanted to do anything. Always just wanted to sit at home and drink his beer.
So we would sit and home and he would sit in front of the TV and I would essentially be all alone, even when we were both at home together.
Now that I've left, I hear about all these things he's doing...going to friend's houses, hanging out with his sister and new nephew, all things that I always tried to convince him we should do, but he never wanted to do them. His nephew is 11 months, and at the time I left (1 month ago), we had only seen him 3 times. And they live 10 minutes from us!! It was just weird to me.
But today he's spending the day with him. And it seems he's doing all kinds of things like that now that I'm gone.
I'm happy - I really am - it's hard to get a handle on the guilt when I think of him all by himself. So knowing that he's with people makes the guilt easier to handle.
But it's just mind boggling that now that I'm gone he's out and about and doing things. Why couldn't we do that when I was there?
And more importantly...WHY DO I CARE????
I shouldn't. I know I need to focus on me and stop focusing on him. And I'm trying. I really am.
You reminded me.
AND...I am self employed and my business has taken great hits this year becuase I have been so wrapped up in my emotional trauma. I need to focus on me. I need to focus on my business. I need to stop worrying what he is doing. At the end of the day, I KNOW he's still drinking and has NOT recognized he even has a problem. So, I need to focus on me and my business. And you have reminded me that if I DO stop focusing on him and what he's doing, I will be happier. I will have what I want, and my business will flourish.

Good food for thought.
Thank you for that.

Dakota.

CatsPajamas

FD,

What a wonderful start to the holidays! I've watched you on your journey the past few years... and it's awesome to see how you've grown. Your recovery is shining ~ and next time can I go pre Christmas shopping with you???

Hugs
Cats

FormerDoormat

Absolutely, the more the merrier!

Spiritual Seeker

I am a terrible shopper. Somehow I didn't get the shopping gene.
I can go to a mall for clothes and only come home with a book, cd or gym shoes. How wonderful that you found so many fabulous pieces. I want to shop in your shadow. Your coats sound amazing. It may be cold where you live but you'll look HOT.

AWEDA

I need a new winter coat,and I was shopping the other day and saw one I liked. Do you know what I did, I didn't get it bacause it cost too much but then proceeded to buy stuff for my kids that they really didn't need. Why don't I buy myself things I like? After reading your post, I am going back to get that coat today. Thank You!!!!!!

embraced2000

good for you fd! this must be the year of taking care of ourselves because i have done something similiar.

amongst my purchases the past month......

----a new full length black leather coat
----lots of jewels from the shopping channel
----a microdemasion tool for my skin
----a faux lamb shearling dennis bassco coat in winter white
----lip plumper from victoria secrets with the bee sting effect
----the michael thurmond 6 week body workover
----bare escentuals makeup
----a new watch
----new contact lenses in the violet color that is on my avitar.

and so many other things that i have wanted for so long, but wouldn't go the expense. but i have so much more money now that ex is gone and i had a high ole time buying my own christmas.

now, i think i will follow your advice for a new sassy hairdo.

you are a true inspiration for taking the next step. you inspire me.
thank you
jeri

p.s since i spent so much money on myself, i think everyone else is getting homemade christmas cookies and candy.....lol

cagefree

Ooooh! Can I play too?

Great thread FD!

I treated myself to a new car! I live in the middle of the woods and the snow belt - and instead of my tiny coupe with 160K miles I now have a 4wd car that can actually hold my kayak

p.s. Embraced - I got a new watch awhile back too...I only take it off to sleep and shower I love it so much!

Rella927

FD Great thread! And how wonderful you are to you! you deserve it!

Heck we all do!

Maybe that is why I did some early shopping this weekend too!

I came up with this system last year-Buy 2 gifts then buy one for me! it works pretty well! (Not always expensive but just something I see and I may want)

This weekend I bought in this country store a little deer made out of fuzzy cloth material and the legs and antlers are made from actual tree branches! Cute little thing-

Last weekend I bought myself a new pair of nice black leather dress boots and jeans!

Thanks FD!

Astro

Way to go FD and everyone else who treated themselves!

I got a bunch of gift cards as "Thank You" rewards from my credit card company, so I've been using them to buy Christmas gifts for my kids and family. And I've also treated myself to some small things if I have any money left over;-)

reader

So good to see u treating yourself so well. I am a tightwad with myself but I love to do for the kids. Keep up the great recovery......

FormerDoormat

OK, so in the true spirit of "hot babe-ness," and because I deserve to look good no matter what I'm doing, I decided to wear one of my new sweaters paired with some black skinny leg jeans and a pair of my new stilettos to the grocery store today instead of my usual schleppy mom jeans and sensible shoes.

Looking good is a great way to boost one's self-esteem. I find that how I feel about myself on the inside is reflected on how I look on the outside and vice versa.

Apparently one man appreciated my efforts today because he checked me out as I passed by him in the pasta section. I should have asked him if he needed any help with his linguine, but I digress....Anyway, it was nice to be noticed and to feel like a girl again.

an'ka

As I move further and further away from my delirious life with AH, I realize that I gravitate toward happy, uplifting posts. I LOVE YOURS! It put a smile on my face--you go, girl!!