little about me
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ohio, US
Posts: 50
little about me
Hey--
I have been reading various posts lately whenever I get a chance and I decided it was about time I finally shared a little about me.
My mother recommended that I get on this site because you guys have so many encouraging things to say. She was right. Reading the various things that y'all have written is very uplifting. Thank you! Hopefully through listening to other's challenges and successes, I will be able to work through my own.
I am the child of an alcoholic. Not yet really an adult, I am only seventeen. I just graduated from hich school and my dad worked pretty hard to screw up my last couple of weeks. He was making a mess in the yard and starting new projects before my open house so everything was a total mess. He did clean most of it up beforehand, but didn't finish anything. I am in the middle of five kids. My eldest sister is married and her life still reflects damage that he created. Luckily she found a wonderful guy and ended the downward spiral. My next eldest sister is severely handicapped due to a baby shot so I don't really know how much damage he has done to her. I don't really know what all of my problems are. I'm pretty sure I am codependent and can be very manipulative. I despise making decisions and abhor facing reality. My little sis is extremely emotional and is in the position of desiring to rebel, same place I was at her age. My little brother has little respect for women or really anyone and he harbors deep anger. What a fun place!
I would love to see alcohol permanently out of our house. I want my parents to stay together, but I hate to see all of the crap my mom has to go through. I know that all of our problems are fixable. Like for starters, I have found an absolutely fabulous guy and we will be getting engaged this summer. He is studying to be a Christian Counselor with a minor in Psychology. He hopes to work mainly with marriage counseling. He is the third generation of his family to have never tasted any alcohol. Can you tell I'm kinda proud? Hopefully any of the damage I have sustained won't create any future problems with us.
Well, I didn't mean for this to be so long, so I am going to end it now. I would love to hear some input and I will be glad to answer any questions. I love you all dearly.
-Angel
I have been reading various posts lately whenever I get a chance and I decided it was about time I finally shared a little about me.
My mother recommended that I get on this site because you guys have so many encouraging things to say. She was right. Reading the various things that y'all have written is very uplifting. Thank you! Hopefully through listening to other's challenges and successes, I will be able to work through my own.
I am the child of an alcoholic. Not yet really an adult, I am only seventeen. I just graduated from hich school and my dad worked pretty hard to screw up my last couple of weeks. He was making a mess in the yard and starting new projects before my open house so everything was a total mess. He did clean most of it up beforehand, but didn't finish anything. I am in the middle of five kids. My eldest sister is married and her life still reflects damage that he created. Luckily she found a wonderful guy and ended the downward spiral. My next eldest sister is severely handicapped due to a baby shot so I don't really know how much damage he has done to her. I don't really know what all of my problems are. I'm pretty sure I am codependent and can be very manipulative. I despise making decisions and abhor facing reality. My little sis is extremely emotional and is in the position of desiring to rebel, same place I was at her age. My little brother has little respect for women or really anyone and he harbors deep anger. What a fun place!
I would love to see alcohol permanently out of our house. I want my parents to stay together, but I hate to see all of the crap my mom has to go through. I know that all of our problems are fixable. Like for starters, I have found an absolutely fabulous guy and we will be getting engaged this summer. He is studying to be a Christian Counselor with a minor in Psychology. He hopes to work mainly with marriage counseling. He is the third generation of his family to have never tasted any alcohol. Can you tell I'm kinda proud? Hopefully any of the damage I have sustained won't create any future problems with us.
Well, I didn't mean for this to be so long, so I am going to end it now. I would love to hear some input and I will be glad to answer any questions. I love you all dearly.
-Angel
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
Hi angel
welcome, so glad your here.
angel you sound mature and recognize a need for help.
one of my alanon meetings has a 17 yr old, she has been coming longer then me and has a wisdom in the program that is inspiring to me. age is no barrier as we have all been in the pain you have felt. You may have already heard by coming here that you didn't cause it, you cant control it and you cant cure it. It is not your fault, not your mom's, it is a disease, and until your dad recognizes that he has a problem and seeks recovery from it there is nothing anyone can do.
The good new in alanon/alateen is that we can do something for ourselves, we can learn how to live and be happy even if the alcoholic is still drinking. As for the defects (manipulation, unreality etc..) our HP can help us with those to , we needed certain abilities in our lives to cope with things the way they were(are) but there are better ways as I am slowly finding out.
Hey, wish you the best. I know you love your Dad (mine was alcoholic to) and we can continue to love them with detachment from their problem.
sorry, if this sounded preachy but i think its exciting that someone so young can learn things i didnt know when i was young.
hugs
liddy
welcome, so glad your here.
angel you sound mature and recognize a need for help.
one of my alanon meetings has a 17 yr old, she has been coming longer then me and has a wisdom in the program that is inspiring to me. age is no barrier as we have all been in the pain you have felt. You may have already heard by coming here that you didn't cause it, you cant control it and you cant cure it. It is not your fault, not your mom's, it is a disease, and until your dad recognizes that he has a problem and seeks recovery from it there is nothing anyone can do.
The good new in alanon/alateen is that we can do something for ourselves, we can learn how to live and be happy even if the alcoholic is still drinking. As for the defects (manipulation, unreality etc..) our HP can help us with those to , we needed certain abilities in our lives to cope with things the way they were(are) but there are better ways as I am slowly finding out.
Hey, wish you the best. I know you love your Dad (mine was alcoholic to) and we can continue to love them with detachment from their problem.
sorry, if this sounded preachy but i think its exciting that someone so young can learn things i didnt know when i was young.
hugs
liddy
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Angel,
Welcome to our family! You sound like a bright shiny star with your whole futue before you. Education about addiction is important if you want to prevent problems in your future. It sounds like you know you are at risk. But that in no way means your future is out of your hands. Alot of us have pulled ourselves out of deep holes. Learn all you can sweetheart and you won't even have to get your feet dirty!
Hugs,
JT
Welcome to our family! You sound like a bright shiny star with your whole futue before you. Education about addiction is important if you want to prevent problems in your future. It sounds like you know you are at risk. But that in no way means your future is out of your hands. Alot of us have pulled ourselves out of deep holes. Learn all you can sweetheart and you won't even have to get your feet dirty!
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Welcome Angel,
Sounds like you have a wonderful boyfriend/fiance! I am very happy for you. This is a wonderful place and I am so impressed that you at 17 have already realized that seeking help now will help your future. It took me years and years and years to have the light bulb go off!! You go girl!
You might want to visit NACoA as well. (www.nacoa.org) I found some interesting information in looking what info to give my children. Keep coming back we are glad you are here.
Constant
Sounds like you have a wonderful boyfriend/fiance! I am very happy for you. This is a wonderful place and I am so impressed that you at 17 have already realized that seeking help now will help your future. It took me years and years and years to have the light bulb go off!! You go girl!
You might want to visit NACoA as well. (www.nacoa.org) I found some interesting information in looking what info to give my children. Keep coming back we are glad you are here.
Constant
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
So glad you found us Angel!
I am very pleased to hear that you have such a stable,wonderful relationship with your fiance.You have plenty of reason to be proud!! He sounds like your ROCK! That is great but you also need to take care of yourself.It sounds like you are well under control and on your way to healing from everything you've been through. It takes time and one day at a time we are all learning to do that.
Lots of prayers and hugs! Keep coming back,
matters
I am very pleased to hear that you have such a stable,wonderful relationship with your fiance.You have plenty of reason to be proud!! He sounds like your ROCK! That is great but you also need to take care of yourself.It sounds like you are well under control and on your way to healing from everything you've been through. It takes time and one day at a time we are all learning to do that.
Lots of prayers and hugs! Keep coming back,
matters
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
W O W Angel.....
Angel, At age 17, I was very, very different in my approach to life. First, I can't remember taking my mom's advice on much of anything at 17! I was not interested in my problems, and chose only to escape. This behavior continued for almost 30 yrs., until I finally hit my bottom. I managed to take so many loved ones along the way. I continue to deal with the wreakage of my past, and realize this probably will continue for the rest of my life. It simply did not work. I was not in touch of my feelings, emotions, or pain, and for that matter, had no interest in going there. It has been said, people marry people like their fathers. I seemed to have fallen into a similiar situation. Realizing you are looking for changes, and for things to improve, suggestion, take it slowly. You seem to have a good idea of your feelings, and are willing to do something about it. MUCH, MUCH more than I could ever say at 17. Rigourous honesty. Nicely done, keep up the good work, and keep coming back. There is action, and more action. Perhaps, at 17, you have already hit your bottom! ! And remember, CHOICES, CHOICES, CHOICES.......we all have them, will we make good ones? I rarely did, until AA............God bless you. T C
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ohio, US
Posts: 50
Hey--
I just want to thank you all for welcoming me so easily. You guys are the greatest. It is so comforting to know that there are people to talk to when I am struggling. I love you all!
Thank you!
--Ångel
I just want to thank you all for welcoming me so easily. You guys are the greatest. It is so comforting to know that there are people to talk to when I am struggling. I love you all!
Thank you!
--Ångel
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: where I need to be
Posts: 157
Ditto to others' replies and
Wow! Angel....your Mom is so blessed to have you as her daughter.
One thing that came to my mind as I read your post.......I think you may have been blessed, in a way, for having the "opportunity" of growing up with an alcoholic. You have certainly learned from your experiences and it has probably helped to make you a stronger, more self-sufficient, "aware" young women. I know that it's difficult at times to see these "blessings" when in the depths of chaos, but I believe that HP gives us these life situations to learn and grow from.
I believe that we are put on this earth for three things: to love, to learn, and to give. You seem to be doing well on accomplishing all three.
Congrats on graduating from HS and I wish you years of health, happiness and prosperity.
Take care,
Sarah
One thing that came to my mind as I read your post.......I think you may have been blessed, in a way, for having the "opportunity" of growing up with an alcoholic. You have certainly learned from your experiences and it has probably helped to make you a stronger, more self-sufficient, "aware" young women. I know that it's difficult at times to see these "blessings" when in the depths of chaos, but I believe that HP gives us these life situations to learn and grow from.
I believe that we are put on this earth for three things: to love, to learn, and to give. You seem to be doing well on accomplishing all three.
Congrats on graduating from HS and I wish you years of health, happiness and prosperity.
Take care,
Sarah
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Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: fresno Ca
Posts: 68
HI angel,
You made a reply on my thread and I greatly appreciate it. You sound like a smart and mature 17 year old. You are right to break the cycle and you are lucky to know at your age when most teenagers don't go on the right path and let the negative in there lives be a reason to not excel. Do your parents get along? And the sister you have who is very emotional, Is she understanding what is going on? I have to say that I am the oldest of 5 kids and my youngest sister is 6. My step father is not an alcoholic but is very immature and lets his bad attitude take over the house. I know it is not the same but the bottom line is I have to be a rock for them because unfortunatly when parents don't think of anyone but themselves the kids are the ones left hurting. But at the same time you can't be everthing to everyone. I will pray for you and hope that all goes better. We are always here to lend a shoulder.
Lots of hugs!!!
maryl
You made a reply on my thread and I greatly appreciate it. You sound like a smart and mature 17 year old. You are right to break the cycle and you are lucky to know at your age when most teenagers don't go on the right path and let the negative in there lives be a reason to not excel. Do your parents get along? And the sister you have who is very emotional, Is she understanding what is going on? I have to say that I am the oldest of 5 kids and my youngest sister is 6. My step father is not an alcoholic but is very immature and lets his bad attitude take over the house. I know it is not the same but the bottom line is I have to be a rock for them because unfortunatly when parents don't think of anyone but themselves the kids are the ones left hurting. But at the same time you can't be everthing to everyone. I will pray for you and hope that all goes better. We are always here to lend a shoulder.
Lots of hugs!!!
maryl
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