After you read this, I hope you will be able to as GiveLove said earlier, "Being rejected by a moron is a compliment, not an insult. It doesn't reflect ONE BIT on your character, your attractiveness, your worth as a person. NOT ONE OUNCE. All it means is that he's a dog. And now he's barking at someone else. And you're fortunate." Remember, you ARE fortunate and his behavior really truly has nothing to do with you.

Remembered this post from my first few days on these boards. I hope it will put a new perspective on things for you....


What Addicts Do

"My name's Jon. I'm an addict. And this is what addicts do. You cannot nor will not change my behavior. You cannot make me treat you better, let alone with any respect. All I care about, all I think about, is my needs and how to go about fufilling them. You are a tool to me, something to use. When I say I love you I am lying through my teeth, because love is impossible for someone in active addiction. I wouldn't be using if I loved myself, and since I don't, I cannot love you.

My feelings are so pushed down and numbed by my drugs that I could be considered sociopathic. I have no empathy for you or anyone else. It doesn't faze me that I hurt you, leave you hungry, lie to you, cheat on you and steal from you.

My behavior cannot and will not change until i make a decison to stop using/drinking and then follow it up with a plan of action.

And until I make that decsion, I will hurt you again and again and again.

Stop being surprised.

I am an addict. And that's what addicts do."

gns.......it helped me to think of my xh as 'gone" in spirit. the alcoholism took that away. i wasn't dealing with the man.....i was dealing with the monster of addiction.

a faceless, invisible, monster that was inside my husband....like a pod person, kinda, sorta.

"the man" that you used to know, now has an agenda with his addiction. and that addiction does not include you.....

it's not about you, hon......it's about him. you are worthy. so is he, probably, but he is not there right now.

best to you, sweety
big hugs to you
jeri