cmeshell6

Hello all, I am new to this site...I needed a place I could lay down my inner turmoil...a place where many can relate TRULY to what I am feeling. My mom Claire had struggled as a "functioning" alcoholic for over 12 years. Her "rock bottom" hit about 5 years ago this past September. Mom was driving to a conference about hour away from the Milwaukee area. She arrived (by the grace of God) safely. Once there, one of her very good friends/co-workers Tammy noticed mom was slurring her speech. This is how well my mom had become at 'hiding/functioning' w/ her drinking. One of her best friends was not even aware. So, anyways Tammy noticed she was slurring her speech, and 'walking funny'. She took mom to the local ER at that point because she THOUGHT she was having a stroke! The ER doc took one look at her and told Tammy, "Ma'am your friend is severely intoxicated...she is not having a stroke." After the blood test, it was discovered that her blood alcohol level was over 3 TIMES the legal limit. So as I said...the ONLY way she made it an hour on the road, that intoxicated WITHOUT killing herself or someone else, was by the GRACE OF GOD! From that day forward...SHE chose sobriety.

This past Sunday, I went to my parents for dinner, took one look at my mom and KNEW she had had a relapse. The glazed/hazy eyes...the hand over the mouth...the smell that seeps from the pores...the slightly slurred speech, it was all back. I felt literally sick to my stomach. Later that evening, after mom had gone to bed my sister and I decided to approach my dad. Now, you must know, back when we dealt with this issue the first time...he had a LOT of issues with denial. My sister was busy w/ her life, so I was REALLY the only one who sort of "took responsiblity" for bringing her addiction out in the open. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life. I FELT like I had to "fix it" somehow. So, anyways..when my sis and I approched dad this past Sunday night he had this look of shock and disbelief in his eyes....like I was 'accusing' mom of something horrible. It made me angry and very defensive. He said that we shouldn't confront mom until he had a chance to observe and keep an eye on her these next few days. I know for a FACT that she has relapsed...I will NEVER 4get what those signs and symptoms look like. So needless to say I was and still am not in agreement with how he wants to handle this...for her safety and the safety of others. But, he asked me not to, so I have respected his wishes with a anxious heart. It's SO HARD because I don't live in their house anymore. I somehow now have to trust my dad's decision...which is hard because in the past, he wasn't as 'involved' as maybe he should've been. Anyways...if I don't hear from him by tomorrow, I feel for my own piece of mind I need to confront her.

Thanks for listening to my story... I am open to any comments/advice or feedback you might have. God bless...Christine

P.S. Aside from my faith, Al-Anon has/had helped me a great deal with learning to "detach with love" AND to realize that I am not alone. I firmly believe in that organization and what it stand for.