Convince me that alcoholism is a disease.
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: ft. bend texas
Posts: 179
I asked her what she would do if I told her that I wanted to see her daughter die in front of her (like what she said to me and doesn't remember according to her). She said she'd probably leave. She feels bad, but not bad enough to stop.
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Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NY, NY
Posts: 61
Originally Posted by sad#3 
Thank you so much for telling your story. I believe I'm in for a losing battle, but like you, I'll keep trying anyway and probably get fed up at some point. I predict that she'll lose her job again and get caught with a DUI or drinking on the job. She's in complete denial. She wants to get her master's degree to become a principal, but even if she makes it that far, I think eventually she'll be right back to the way she was when I first met her. She has no intentions of stopping drinking.
Hi there -
Eventually you will probably get fed up - some people get fed up sooner then others. I saw a lot of strong but sad people who still were not fed up after many, many years. I think there are a lot of determining factors on just how far a person will go or how long they will endure their unique situation. Personalities, family dynamics, outside influences from friends and family, etc etc. Only you know when enough is enough.
A sidenote - when I met my ex he was going for his Masters and he finished it. I will never know if he was on the wago at that point or actually drinking. I think I can be reasonably certain that he was abstaining to a degree as he looked like a different person, and behaved a lot different the first 6 months I knew him. But 8 months into the relationship I took him on a beautiful 5 night trip to Las Vegas to celebrate his Masters accomplishment and he drank with me on that trip - he was never drunk, but remember I had NO idea he was an alcoholic. I think he was able to 'control' it on that trip - but I look back and remember how negative his attitude was and things he said, and I believe it was the alcohol poisoning his mind and actions and behavior. And that just got worse and worse.
My heart truly goes out to you. It makes me sad to read how many thousands of us are out there - how much damage this disease causes on innocent people like us. Hang in there - one way or the other things will get better for you if you take control of your destiny and let her be in charge of her own.
Take care of yourself.
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