I Finally Did It - Got an Order of Protection
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
I Finally Did It - Got an Order of Protection
Hi All,
Well after last week's escapade and all your opinions and comments, I just want to tell you that I truly thank you all for your kicks in the butt. After again another night of his drunken blame games, mind games, etc., I finally went this morning to Family Court and got an order of protection against him. The Sheriff is serving him tonite and we both have to be back in court tomorrow at 9 a.m. See, I just needed to find the right timing of things and the right solution. For now though, at least tonite, the temporary order is a STAY AWAY order. Just please pray that tomorrow works out good for me also, especially when he does all his quacking in front of the judge. Thanks again all.
Terri
Well after last week's escapade and all your opinions and comments, I just want to tell you that I truly thank you all for your kicks in the butt. After again another night of his drunken blame games, mind games, etc., I finally went this morning to Family Court and got an order of protection against him. The Sheriff is serving him tonite and we both have to be back in court tomorrow at 9 a.m. See, I just needed to find the right timing of things and the right solution. For now though, at least tonite, the temporary order is a STAY AWAY order. Just please pray that tomorrow works out good for me also, especially when he does all his quacking in front of the judge. Thanks again all.
Terri
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Yes, it does. So at least I will get one night's peace. The order is effective till April 2008, but they told me the judge I go in front of tomorrow may modify it, and it may not be a stay away order, but then again, it may be. I'm hoping for the best, but everyone here was right, excuses don't do a crap load of beans, actions do, and I thought this morning to myself, if I continue to allow this, I will lose all respect for myself. I also thought of the story of the man on the boat, and God sent him the plane and the boat to help him but he thought God was just going to do it. The answer was staring me in the face all the time, but I refused to see it (and do it). I'm still waiting for the sheriff to call me to tell me he's out of the house. I didn't go home, I took my grandkids trick or treating, had a great time, but I'm real tired, so I can't wait for them to call me. Wish me luck tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: England
Posts: 3,410
Brilliant, QT!!!!
I know this took a lot of courage and I hope you are proud of yourself for stepping up to the plate.
Hope court goes well - if you need to speak, speak from your heart and from the "I" and don't play his games. If you don't rise to him, his attempts will tell the judge all they need to know. If all you were to do is get sucked in, the judge may tend towards "they are as bad as each other and I don't have time to unravel this one".
Let us know what happens.
I know this took a lot of courage and I hope you are proud of yourself for stepping up to the plate.
Hope court goes well - if you need to speak, speak from your heart and from the "I" and don't play his games. If you don't rise to him, his attempts will tell the judge all they need to know. If all you were to do is get sucked in, the judge may tend towards "they are as bad as each other and I don't have time to unravel this one".
Let us know what happens.
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
The Sheriffs served him - his mother not happy!
I got the call at 8:15 p.m. from the sheriffs saying that he wasn't answering the door and would I come let them in. Then they called me back and told me he did let them in and they would call me when he was out of the house. When they called me again, the sheriff told me that his mother and his friend T (the one who has the gun) came here and T took him back to his house and his mother left also. As I'm driving home, I see his mother. She asked me to pull over and we chatted a while. She is very upset about this whole thing (annoyed at both of us). I explained that I'm sorry this upsets her (she is an older woman who has had her share of upsetments, her husband was an A who died at 36 and left her w/5 kids, her brothers and sister were As, three of her kids are As, etc.). She said she's "worried" about him cause "where will he stay?" She won't take him in, admits he is a nasty drunk, always was at home. She said he must be upset and have things on his mind that he relapses all the time and did for the past 5 years (I corrected her and told her it was 6 years now). She says he told her that he's tired of taking care of everybody (meaning me, the kids and grandkids - and he NEVER has to take care of us!), that me and him never do anything together (how could we when he fishes and plays golf 5 nights a week and on weekends and gets drunk) that I'm always the one saying no when he wants to do something and that I'm too busy babysitting (I babysit 2 nights a week, see the grands other times when he's fishing, golfing, etc.). I tried to tell her that it's all about "poor him" and that the more she and T coddle him, the more he will play it. I told her that I am really sorry that this upset her, that I didn't mean to involve her in any way and the I DIDN'T INVOLVE HER in any way, her son did, but that I had to do what I had to do for ME, to let him know that what he is doing is UNACCEPTABLE TO ME and that I should not and will not live like this anymore. I know she is upset, it is her son, but I told her then she should take him in and if she doesn't want him, why should she think I should tolerate it. I told her to try and get a good night's sleep, that at least it's a stay away order and her son is not in jail for DWI and God forbid killing a child trick or treating on Halloween, that she should be glad it's just this. Anyway, I am going to go through my old posts now, so I could write down incident dates and times in case I have to tell the judge. Thanks for everything. Terri
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
QT 
I'm very proud of you! Please do not worry about what his mother or anyone else thinks! Remember you are doing this for YOU not them! No one knows what we go through except for us, and no one knows what is good for us except for us!
Hang in there sweetie!
I'm very proud of you! Please do not worry about what his mother or anyone else thinks! Remember you are doing this for YOU not them! No one knows what we go through except for us, and no one knows what is good for us except for us! Hang in there sweetie!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 633
Good luck this am, glad to hear things went ok (well as ok as they could have gone). I always think it's funny when people (the A's relatives and friends usually) say you should not throw the A out or divorce them, they don't want to take the A in and deal with them but they think you should have to!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
It's amazing that a man who makes good money has never heard of this little thing called a "hotel". It's this place with nice beds where you pay them and they let you stay there....you can drink and rant and rave (alone) all you want. He should check that out.
Way to go QT
Way to go QT
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