How do I get to an al-anon meeting?

Old 10-31-2007, 05:19 AM
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How do I get to an al-anon meeting?

OK, I know this is a very very deeply stupid question, the reason I'm asking is that I've been meaning to go to a meeting for a while now. Years I think. I've got two lists of meetings, one in my purse and one in my coat, and I check the local website regularly. But I still don't manage to get out the door. I'm working and have two young kids (2 and 3), so I want to spend time with them in the evening, but I'm tired. I also need DH to stay with them if I go out (obviously). I think I will have to talk to him about this, as I can't just walk out the door and go. I was getting ready to do that last night, when the babysitter turned up. I had booked her, and an appointment with a marriage counsellor, but the counsellor had to cancel and we decided to go out anyway, and then completely forgot about it. So we got something to eat, and some candy for Halloween, but that was about it. There's a meeting at 8:30 tonight, but I'm already tired, and have to be up at 6 tomorrow. I think I'm looking for someone to come and hold my hand, which is very silly...
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Old 10-31-2007, 06:12 AM
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You make the arrangements to get to a meeting when you are ready to I guess. Yes, it can be difficult when you're tired and there are kids who need a babysitter, but only you can find the time and make the necessary arrangements.
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Old 10-31-2007, 07:45 AM
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I don't think it's silly. Call the district office and see if someone is willing to take you with them. Happens all the time in AA, why not Al-Anon?

Good luck!
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Old 10-31-2007, 08:05 AM
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Techie, not to be discouraging, but it took me about two years before I actually decided to make my first Alanon meeting. I guess the answer is when you are ready, you will be ready. For myself, it literally took a "rock bottom" event in my life to make me get up off my azz and do it!

Call your local number and explain to them your situation. Whenever I have called, the person on the other end always was accomodating. They are available 24/7.
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Old 11-01-2007, 12:41 AM
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I know I am tired after work too and once I'm home don't want to go back out.
Where we put the focus is where we see results.When your current situation is bad enough maybe you'll try Al-anon to help you see your part in it and help you change the way you think. There are prob mtgs. on Sat. or Sun. I go to a Sat. mtg.
You can order Al-anon literature on line or visit the Al-anon headqtrs. in your county. I have even checked Alanon book out of public library. There are ways to start working the program. It does work if you work it.
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Old 11-01-2007, 04:34 AM
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Hon, when your ready, really, really ready, you will find a way to get there. You made the first step, you have the schedule of meetings, when you reach YOUR bottom, you will make time for an Al anon meeting.
BEST WISHES
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Old 11-01-2007, 09:51 AM
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I had a conversation with my therapist once lamenting why I didn't come to her long before I did. Why it took me sooooooooo long to learn what I've learned. Wondering if things might have turned out differently if I had sought help before things went beyond repair.

She said unfortunately, it human nature to resist asking for help, resist changing, until we are forced to by whatever it is that forces us. Usually, it takes a huge crisis or otherwise untolerable situation to get us there. Too soon old, too late smart.

What have you got to lose?

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Old 11-02-2007, 02:38 AM
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Thank you all for your advice. I'm feeling very stupid, but at least I know I'm not the only one, IYKWIM.
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Old 11-02-2007, 04:29 AM
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You aren't stupid at all! You are a human in a difficult situation, like so many in here. Its never easy to deal with. Its hard admitting there are problems you have to deal with. Its hard to make the first steps. Its hard along the way.

But you can do it.
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Old 11-02-2007, 06:56 AM
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Stupid is not something that you are! I feel taking the step and actually having the list in your pocket is a great start!

I was in counseling for close to 8 years-after my husband had passed away and my counselor suggest Al-Anon to me about 60-100 times and i kept saying yeah yeah-I thought well I have her why do I need Al-Anon?! Finally after almost 3 years and a very horrid relationship with an A- I decided it was time for me to better myself and get to the core of what my behavior was doing to my relationships with everyone in my life not just the current one with the A! My life was unmanageable and she saw this before I did, I was the one who had to see it and start doing something about it! And life is good!

I'm so glad that I finally went-it has helped me in so many more ways than my counselor has-and I hugged and thanked her and also apologized to her for not taking her suggestion sooner! But I feel as others have mentioned when we are ready to do something for ourselves we will do it. Someone can push us and push us and I believe IMHO that when that is done it pushes us further from doing it.

Try to be gentle with yourself and when you are ready you will go.....I go to two meetings on Sunday-morning-which has fit into my busy schedule very well-I also have a meeting on Wednesday that I sometimes go to in the evening-although I'm tired sometimes it is amazing how awake you become when you actually walk into the room and start sharing!

Lots of luck to you
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