cleaning out the closets....

Old 06-03-2003, 09:57 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: North America
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cleaning out the closets....

Tonight was a little tough surprisingly for me. I've been off work the past 4 days. Gotta go back in the morning. Lots of stuff going on there and I might be getting a big promotion and more money, due to someone leaving on Monday. That will be a huge blessing and more work.

Been really busy with getting my little one dropped off to my parents over the weekend. Didnt really have alot of time for me. So today I started doing some well over due spring cleaning around my place. The kind you hate to do....closets, behind the refrige...all of that stuff. I was going through stuff, in which alot reminded me of my now x-A. By the time I was done, I was so tired and I had huge knots in the pit of my stomach. Seeing all of the little ones things, and some old clothes of hers made me think back to last year, its funny I actually remeber things she wore during different bad times we would have with her daddy.

I didnt really think about one situation or was all just there looking me in my face. It hurt and I didnt like it.

I do know tho this is just another way HP is telling me....Girl look how far youve come....keep on goin.

It is amazing though, no matter how hard you try to forgive and forget...sometimes you truly never can forget the pain.

I love you guys. Thanks for the ears tonight...I needed to come here and get a hug.
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Old 06-04-2003, 01:01 AM
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Grace Under Fire
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Another world
Posts: 536

I understand what you are saying.

Recently the grandkids were here, and they
wanted to go through my photo albums.
We were looking at them together and this
overwhelming sadness came over me. My kids
looked so healthy, and even happy. Gosh,
I even looked pretty darn good. We actually
had good times, but it's been so long now
I had forgotten.

Anyway, I think you are right-it is painful
but also a reminder of how far you have come.
I don't believe it will always be painful
though, you will look back one of these
days, and see it was a part of your journey.

Congratulations on your job promotion!

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Old 06-04-2003, 01:07 AM
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Morning Glory
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I'm sending lots of hugs. You just kind of did a leap into recovery and have really done well. I think sadness is pretty normal. I still get sad over things that happened 30 years ago. The key is not to focus on it for long. I get sad sometimes just looking at my 9 year old grandson thinking of when he was the cutest 2 year old I have ever seen in my life. Now we wear the same size shoes

Come say hi more often.

Old 06-04-2003, 04:50 AM
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Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 59,014

It can be painful reliving the past, but just think of them as sad memories and pack them away.

Someone here had a signature that read..."Don't look back - you're not going there". I love it.

You have done so well and moved ahead so far. Just believe that the future will hold many wonderful things for you, and you deserve them all.

I am so glad to see you when you drop by. I spot that dancing elephant and just barge right in.
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Old 06-04-2003, 07:10 AM
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Sending ((((hugs)))) Bonbon!

It is nice to see you!

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Old 06-04-2003, 07:37 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
Hi (((Bonbon))))
I could just seem to hear the sadness in your post.
moving on to the next place in our journey can have
its moments, but also reflecting on how far you've come
was a positive thought, one that pushes us on and not
back(for long) !
maybe that spring cleaning behind forgotten places was
for a purpose and very symbolic to me.
gl with the new job !

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Old 06-04-2003, 08:58 AM
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It sometimes is painfull to clean out our closets....
But we have choices today and we can choose to remember the good times as well as recongonize(?) there were bad ones...

Some pain is nessary for my spiritual growth misery is optional...

Good Luck on the new job. Bonbon and even better luck on your continued recovery...
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Old 06-04-2003, 09:19 AM
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Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531

Sending hugs your way! You have come a long way, but I could see how looking back would be painful. I have a very good friend that is moving out of the house that she and her A had both of their children in. She is packing and trying to leave things for him too. They divorced about a year ago, she lived in "their" house for a year and now it is his. She found a great place to live with her kids (walking distance from my house) and they are all excited, but when I called her last night to see how the packing was going she was in tears. Experiencing lots of the same feelings that you are now, but both of you realize that where you are now is much better than where you were then! My heart goes out to you both!

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