New Member, OLD story
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 1
New Member, OLD story
My SO is type II diabetic and his occational drinking has escalated into drinking himself into stupidity every evening during the week and all weekend to various levels of intoxification.
I know it is not my fault, I know I cannot change him or anyone else but myself.
I am building my life without him but my main concern is that his health will eventually fail and I will lose our only asset, our house, to medical bills. I do not want to start all over financially at this point in my life. I retire w/i a few years.
I now know what it is to be an addictive personality but that is hindsight.
I guess the next step is group intervention to see if he still cares enough about his family to try and get sober.
Any one else have thoughts?
I know it is not my fault, I know I cannot change him or anyone else but myself.
I am building my life without him but my main concern is that his health will eventually fail and I will lose our only asset, our house, to medical bills. I do not want to start all over financially at this point in my life. I retire w/i a few years.
I now know what it is to be an addictive personality but that is hindsight.
I guess the next step is group intervention to see if he still cares enough about his family to try and get sober.
Any one else have thoughts?
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Join Date: Jan 2006
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Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by PLBoomer 
I am building my life without him but my main concern is that his health will eventually fail and I will lose our only asset, our house, to medical bills.
L
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
Welcome, PL!
Here is some information on interventions:
"When they Won't Quit" - Bruce Cotter - does one-on-one interventions
"No More Letting Go" - Debra Jay- instructions on how to do individual and group interventions
www.aetv.com/intervention/ - to learn about the Intervention show. You can also apply to be on the show. Our group was contacted to participate and the members would not go on TV, wanting to keep their anonymity. The good thing would be that you wouldn't have to hire a top-notch interventionist. It is said the less experienced the interventionist, the less good results you will get.
Our group tried individual interventions, and none of those people are still in our alcoholic's life. He basically shut them out of his life. It might be different for spouses or live-in SOs.
As a last resort, you may be able to legally have your SO involuntarily get help. That is where we are at this point. I'm not nearly as optimistic about the success of such a move, yet I have read where it can be successful.
Good luck, and welcome! You'll certainly find a lot of support on here.
Here is some information on interventions:
"When they Won't Quit" - Bruce Cotter - does one-on-one interventions
"No More Letting Go" - Debra Jay- instructions on how to do individual and group interventions
www.aetv.com/intervention/ - to learn about the Intervention show. You can also apply to be on the show. Our group was contacted to participate and the members would not go on TV, wanting to keep their anonymity. The good thing would be that you wouldn't have to hire a top-notch interventionist. It is said the less experienced the interventionist, the less good results you will get.
Our group tried individual interventions, and none of those people are still in our alcoholic's life. He basically shut them out of his life. It might be different for spouses or live-in SOs.
As a last resort, you may be able to legally have your SO involuntarily get help. That is where we are at this point. I'm not nearly as optimistic about the success of such a move, yet I have read where it can be successful.
Good luck, and welcome! You'll certainly find a lot of support on here.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
My late boyfriend was an insulin dependent diabetic. I'm sure you already know that alcohol and diabetes don't mix. My boyfriend developed diabetes a little over two years ago as a result of his drinking. Because he was always under the influence of alcohol, his doctors were never able to get his diabetes under control. His health deteriorated rapidly as a result and he passed away five months ago.
He incurred huge medical bills, but since we were never married they weren't my responsibility to pay in life or death. If you aren't married to him, his bills aren't your responsibility. I am the sole owner of my house, so I never worried about his bills or his finances affecting my ability to pay the mortgage. I don't know what impact, if any, his bills would have on your mortgage if he's a co-owner of your home. Perhaps you should consult with an attorney to put your mind at ease.
He incurred huge medical bills, but since we were never married they weren't my responsibility to pay in life or death. If you aren't married to him, his bills aren't your responsibility. I am the sole owner of my house, so I never worried about his bills or his finances affecting my ability to pay the mortgage. I don't know what impact, if any, his bills would have on your mortgage if he's a co-owner of your home. Perhaps you should consult with an attorney to put your mind at ease.
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