need some ideas/help
 

I posted the other day, I am new. As I said then, I have been separated 5 weeks now, getting SSD have an 11 yr old daughter. So basically I have no money whatsoever. The A informed me today he is taking my vehicle and will not pay alimony. We had previously agreed to go to mediation as opposed to getting lawyers. Now he is getting one. I called all over the state today and there is no one.. no one... who handles separation pro bono or by income, so I have no legal representation at all. Help !!! Where else is there to turn ?? Legal Aid simply said go to DSS, get food stamps and child support through them. Really need some help here with other ideas. I have no family and only one friend, he ran the rest off. guess if they were true friends they might not have gone though.
All advice greatly appreciated !!

If he needs the vehicle to work, and in turn pay your child support, he is entitled to it. But if he is unemployed, and you need it for taking care of your own employment and your daughters needs, that might get worked out in court to your advantage.

I am disabled.. he has his own truck. We traded my car in for this brand new suv and he left a month later. He wants both vehicles and like I said I have no lawyer so cannot stop him legally.

Is your name on the truck? Do you both own it?

Have you contacted your local Children's services agency/department? If not call them first thing and get an appointment with them. That is one route you can take to take care of part of your problems. They will help you get child support at the very least. Also contact your local welfare office. If they aren't the right folks to help you find aid, they will point you to other organizations/agencies.

When this does get to court, it won't be his choice as to whether he pays alimony or how much child support he pays. That will be up to the judge.

As to how to get to that point, call the local bar association and get a referral to an attorney who will let you pay over time. There should be some around. If that doesn't work talk to the court clerks who should be able to help you with finding out about the necessary forms and filings.

aspiring.....I am so sorry. The most important thing is not to panic. In my own life, I just went through a panicky couple of weeks. If you can try to stay calm, sometimes it helps your head stay clear so you can come up with ideas better. I learned that the hard way!

Not sure if this is any help, but will share anyway. Early on with my divorce from 1st husband (controling abusive A wife beater), I had no attorney. I sat down and wrote down and wrote everything I could think of that was relevant to my case, that I felt the lawyer should know about. Then, I started a journal of everything that happened from that point on. When we did go before the judge to answer my legal separation filing (went to court and filled out myself and attached all that I had written down), he had read everything I wrote. It at least let me get in what was happening. I even told him how I left with nothing but daughter's hand in mine, purse, keys and my car and that had no $$ for attorney. But then this is my long story, not yours...!

I guess what I am saying is--Don't panic, start keeping a journal of all the happenings and difficulties due to his behavior etc. This way, should a pro bono situation arise, you are totally ready with details. This could help you if you do end up in mediation also.

One last thought....back then, HE was much more powerful in my MIND, than he really was! Hang in there, we are with you and I will pray that something good opens up for you!

:Val004:

merlotmamma... yes both our names are on the suv for the loan, registration etc. His pickup truck is in his name only.

Barbara52... I have the application for DSS and will go there today.

Keepingmyjoy... I will heed your advice and begin the journal.

The A is 2 yrs. sober but has never worked any steps. I sense he is still trying to use his 'control' over me, and prior to Alanon it might have worked, but not now. I was proud of myself yesterday when he was raging I didn't back down and did not cry. Now after he left.... whole other story. lolol But he did not see it. Only reason he was here was someone made a purchase offer on the house, which we acccepted by the way. Had to accept it, I cannot afford the mortgage on my social security check. So I also face in 45 days I will be homeless. I have no idea what God's plan for me is, but He sure is giving me a work out on all this.

Hang in there!

You have my prayers aspiring as you go thru all these changes. It won't be easy and there's no way to oredict what twists will come but I firmly believe you will come out on the other side in a much better situation.