Today is a much better day - thanks for being there!
Recovering Nicely
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
Today is a much better day - thanks for being there!
Hi All, I was so depressed yesterday and sick to my stomach and I want to thank you all for being there for me. In the afternoon, I find out that my son was driving w/a suspended license (from unpaid tickets) which he didn't know anything about (truly, the ticket date was for 12/07), so when he was stopped by the cop, the cop gave him a ticket for suspended license (he could have actually arrested him, but didn't) and since his registration was expired, they impounded his car. Thank God my son is responsible and is taking care of it all today, but after everything I've been through w/AH (and I definitely can't tell him about this either), I was even more depressed. Then finally, I was talking w/my friend J and we decided that instead of me sitting him watching TV and waiting for AH to come in the door again drunk, we went out for happy hour and appetizers. I left AH a note saying I went out w/J to "clear my head" (his famous words). Said I'd be home later. Didn't get home till 10 p.m. but I tell you, I really needed that. I needed to be out w/people, new people, some people I haven't seen in a while. We were talking, and laughing, my daughter was texting (she was worried I was out cause that's not like me) but we were joking about it. I realized what I'd been missing all these years. From now on, J and I are going to try and go out for lunch or dinner one time a week (I always used to tell her no when she'd ask, I always "thought" I had something to do), my son is always asking me to go out w/him for dinner (his GF works late sometimes), I'm going to look into taking a class or two, and I'm going to start doing for me. When I got home last night, AH was already asleep upstairs. This morning, I slept later than him (and he checked to make sure I was home HA HA), he said goodbye to me and I said goodbye to him, and for once, really for once, in at least 1 1/2 months, I had a really pleasant night and morning. So today I am grateful, grateful for at least some peace.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by queenteree 
From now on, J and I are going to try and go out for lunch or dinner one time a week (I always used to tell her no when she'd ask, I always "thought" I had something to do), my son is always asking me to go out w/him for dinner (his GF works late sometimes), I'm going to look into taking a class or two, and I'm going to start doing for me.
L
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 633
I try to go out with friends or people from work at least once a week and take my son out for dinner or even just to the mall one night a week too, it keeps me connected to the "real world" so I can remember that there are places where A insanity does not exist.
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Hey!!
I am sooo glad you are feeling brighter. This is great news. It's great to be able to 'detach' from the mess for a bit, and your plans to do something each week for you, well I just think its seriously good news! Your AH won't know whats going on, suddenly your asserting your self instead of waiting around for him.
Brilliant!
I am sooo glad you are feeling brighter. This is great news. It's great to be able to 'detach' from the mess for a bit, and your plans to do something each week for you, well I just think its seriously good news! Your AH won't know whats going on, suddenly your asserting your self instead of waiting around for him.
Brilliant!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by queenteree
Then finally, I was talking w/my friend J and we decided that instead of me sitting him watching TV and waiting for AH to come in the door again drunk, we went out for happy hour and appetizers. I left AH a note saying I went out w/J to "clear my head" (his famous words). Said I'd be home later. Didn't get home till 10 p.m. but I tell you, I really needed that. I needed to be out w/people, new people, some people I haven't seen in a while. We were talking, and laughing, my daughter was texting (she was worried I was out cause that's not like me) but we were joking about it. I realized what I'd been missing all these years.
My A is in recovery, but I'm still forging on and creating a life of my own. I refuse to fall back in to the trap of revolving my life around his. Sure he's still in my life, but he's no longer my whole life. Know what I'm saying?
A big congratulations to you for starting to focus on you!!!!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by hmbld
Sure he's still in my life, but he's no longer my whole life. Know what I'm saying?
L
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
"And I also know that no matter who I'm with or where it goes, nobody will ever be my whole life again."
LTD, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I flip-flopped that and thought about someone making ME their whole life. Ack! I wouldn't want that in a million years! That would be an obsessive, possessive, clinging, do everything for me person! It would make me run for the hills. Yikes, is that was I was for R? It's an awful thought. There needs to be a balance, and if I ever get back into a relationship, this is something I am going to have to guard against. How do you figure out the balance?
LTD, that hit me like a ton of bricks. I flip-flopped that and thought about someone making ME their whole life. Ack! I wouldn't want that in a million years! That would be an obsessive, possessive, clinging, do everything for me person! It would make me run for the hills. Yikes, is that was I was for R? It's an awful thought. There needs to be a balance, and if I ever get back into a relationship, this is something I am going to have to guard against. How do you figure out the balance?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 30
YAY QT, this is the exact thing I was talking about in a previous post. Even though it doesn't solve your problems, I feel like it recharges my batteries.
Sometimes I get too wound up in my problems to notice that I am not keeping myself happy, not doing what I would have done if I had not been so worried. Not really living - or being me.
Great to hear.
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