letting go?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Tomah, WI
Posts: 52
letting go?
I am back again... this has been hard but last weekend I went to see my ABF for the last time before he went to jail/Prison... it was not easy... but it is best for the both of us. I told him that I would write him when he is in jail/prison... and I would come and visit when I could. He was happy to hear that I would do that. I care deeply for the man and I want him to get better. While he is in prison there are treatment programs that he can be in that will help him get better. I am just afraid that when he gets out he is going to go back to the bottle and he knows if he does that I am done... and I am not going to have him in my life if he is going to keep drinking... even after prison...
now that I have gone on and on about this... I need to get a life... but that is not easy at 40 and no kids... just me... what is the best way to keep myself busy and not go crazy wondering what he is doing and if he is ok...
now that I have gone on and on about this... I need to get a life... but that is not easy at 40 and no kids... just me... what is the best way to keep myself busy and not go crazy wondering what he is doing and if he is ok...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Heck, I've got you beat. I'm starting over at 52. 
And looking forward to it.
For me, the time since I left AH has been to rediscover who I am. I'm not the same person I was when we met 6 yrs ago. I am examining my life from all sort of angles and figuring it all out. I am learning to have a social life again (slowly) and to do all the things I didn't do while married because AH wouldn't do stuff and was an embarassment so much of the time. I am getting even more involved in my church. I am enjoying quiet time at home with my hobby of counted cross stitching. I am enjoying spending time with my 18 yr old son. Life is good.
Are there groups you would like to be involved with? Are there hobbies you enjoy or want to explore? How about books you've been wanting to read?
And looking forward to it.For me, the time since I left AH has been to rediscover who I am. I'm not the same person I was when we met 6 yrs ago. I am examining my life from all sort of angles and figuring it all out. I am learning to have a social life again (slowly) and to do all the things I didn't do while married because AH wouldn't do stuff and was an embarassment so much of the time. I am getting even more involved in my church. I am enjoying quiet time at home with my hobby of counted cross stitching. I am enjoying spending time with my 18 yr old son. Life is good.
Are there groups you would like to be involved with? Are there hobbies you enjoy or want to explore? How about books you've been wanting to read?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: OHIO
Posts: 959
Well Mec....for me its still hard...my XAH has been gone now for over 2 yrs and I still don't know what I am supposed to be doing. But slowly I am venturing out of my house and doing a few things with the few friends that I have kept intact that he didnt run off. Every day it gets better...the night time is the hardest for me...I still don't sleep worth crap but in time this too will improve - this I am sure of. Take little steps and then the rest will follow ok. Be kind to yourself.
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I went back and looked at your previous posts to refresh my memory on your situation. I thought you'd broken up with your A. That no longer appears to be the case since you plan on writing him and visiting him in prison. I guess I'm confused. Are you still a couple? If so, are you willing to put your life on hold for the duration of his three-year prison term?
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