prodigal

The active A thinks he or she is a "sexy thang." We find their groping, slobbering, sometimes downright smelly efforts a bit of a gross-out. They think we're being cold and rejecting. They don't connect the dots that their drinking is what is, for the most part, causing us to tune out rather than turn on.

With the addiction goes the lack of emotional intimacy, empathy, and ability to connect on more than a superficial level. We're worn out from boundaries being pushed, from the emotional roller coaster, from not being heard ....

BUT ISN'T THIS TRUE OF THE RELATIONSHIP AS A WHOLE??? In other words, they may focus on lack of sex today, and tomorrow it may be the way we smile, the kids making a fuss, the neighbor parking his car too close to our property.

Sign me out on this one as sick and tired of being sick and tired .... but happily not occupying the same sleep space as the A any longer!

FormerDoormat

I don't think Richard thought he was a sexy "thang" when he was drunk--or sober. In fact, I don't think his "thang" worked at all in the last few years. Add to that a lack of emotional intimacy, empathy, and ability to connect on more than a superficial level and you've got the makings of a disastrous relationship.

I was worn out from my boundaries being pushed, from the emotional roller coaster rides, from not being heard, and hurt to the core for not being touched. Yet it took me YEARS to realize that I deserved much more out of life than this. Why I settled for that life is beyond me. Thank God I woke up on my 45th birthday, drove him to a nearby hotel, then drove away thinking "happy birthday to me." It was the best gift I've ever given myself.

LaTeeDa

I don't think mine thought he was sexy either. Especially not when the drinking was bad. He did, however, have a sense of entitlement about sex. That disgusted me more than anything.

L

rawr_x

they just dont understand