Bolina

This is amazing.

If only I'd had the words, this is along the lines of what I'd have written that sums up my approach (now) to relationships.

Gotta love recovery and all of those wonderful people that have gone before me to write and speak all of the things that help me see the world in a different light.

And it reminds me to look at MYSELF in all of that. Who am I? What is my character i.e. what do I do when no-one is looking? What am I teaching other people about me via my behaviors?

coffeedrinker

Things come along and they either hit us and slide off like we're teflon, or the stick. When they stick, we are forever changed. At that moment, it's impossible to walk back through the door from where we just came. This is one of the most exciting aspects of recovery, to me.

Right now, I am both excited about the second half of my life, and also still grieving the loss of the dream I and my xabf shared. We were gonna run a little coffee shop together, have a little house in the city where we could walk to work, and just love each other and people in the world. We were gonna reach out to those still struggling, and celebrate those who were strong in their recovery. Sorry....sad today.

Lilly Burn

"Never mind that this person lies to you, cheats on you, slanders you to others"

I found out the hard way about this, after my STBEXAH left, but once I knew, I stopped loving him, because I knew I had been living in a world of lies, a fantasy...he wasnt the person I thought he was at all, so I couldnt love him anymore... Lilly xx

lulu1974

I so wholeheartedly agree and even if it was just one of the things above he did, it would still be too much. I think living a life of lies is like ur soul dying on the inside. I often compared myself to the chicken without a head. I would be running around in all different directions trying to figure out what was going on but I couldnt see. I truly couldnt see. Now I see. That life now sacres the hell out of me. Never again. I still cant understand how I didnt end up in the looney home. I would have fit right in at the time.

I am going to give myself a big hug after writing this!

Hugs
Lulu