I had a relapse last night!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Buffalo NY
Posts: 105
I had a relapse last night!
I sent a text message to my XAGF, emailed pictures of my daughter, and called her cellphone last night. Sweetest day and all, you see. It made my willpower and mind week. I'm not doing well with this detachment thing!
However, I am beginning to see the significance of adhering to alanon just as an A needs A-A. The title of this thread proves that, because I realise that relapse for an alcoholic signifies returning to the old ways, which I am clearly guilty of based on my actions last night. At least give me a few credits for that fact
However, I am beginning to see the significance of adhering to alanon just as an A needs A-A. The title of this thread proves that, because I realise that relapse for an alcoholic signifies returning to the old ways, which I am clearly guilty of based on my actions last night. At least give me a few credits for that fact
harleygirl92156
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: IOWA
Posts: 430
HEY! Don't be hard on yourself!!! WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE!!!
I think realizing you had a relapse is a HUGE step in the right direction! Keep working on it, your growing in leaps and bounds!
PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!!!:ghug2
I think realizing you had a relapse is a HUGE step in the right direction! Keep working on it, your growing in leaps and bounds!
PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION!!!:ghug2
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Hey there tollbooth. Yup, you did relapse. Yup, we have our own type of "addiction". So if we're going to follow a 12 step program, let's do this just like the recovering A's do it.
What can I do today to prevent my having _another_ relapse? For me it's getting on the phone with my support group and asking them how _they_ are doing today. Putting in a few extra meets, and maybe pick up a commitment to keep myself too busy to have the time for the thinking that leads me to a relapse.
What works for you, tollbooth?
Mike
What can I do today to prevent my having _another_ relapse? For me it's getting on the phone with my support group and asking them how _they_ are doing today. Putting in a few extra meets, and maybe pick up a commitment to keep myself too busy to have the time for the thinking that leads me to a relapse.
What works for you, tollbooth?
Mike
Sunny Side Up
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sth Australia
Posts: 3,802
Yeah Toll, I did that a couple of nights ago. Told AS the real kind of mother she has been the last 7 years. (I was reacting to her text msge) and I felt really sick afterwards. Until she called me at 2am this morning. We are just human too.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
just one relapse???? hon, i had dozens of them before i finally "got it".
it's a process and it's progress....not perfection.
i had been programmed for many years to react, and it was hard to re-wire my brain with my new knowledge.
it gets better.....if you just keep trying....i promise it will get better.
so today is a new day. what happened....well, it happened. no changing it now.
i always try to have a plan when i have those "relapse feelings" coming over me....and that plan is to reach out to my al-anon group and do absolutely nothing.
sometimes, it was just getting through a minute at a time....not a day at a time.
it was really tough, but if i did nothing when i felt like that.....it would finally pass.
course, i would have gerbils in my brain for a day or two....but if i did not react to my feelings, i always felt so much better after i let myself wallow in my own self imposed misery for a while. at least i didnt reach out in any way to him.....so i would be grateful for that, at least. then i had to work on getting rid of them damn gerbils!
big ole hugs to you darlin!
jeri
it's a process and it's progress....not perfection.
i had been programmed for many years to react, and it was hard to re-wire my brain with my new knowledge.
it gets better.....if you just keep trying....i promise it will get better.
so today is a new day. what happened....well, it happened. no changing it now.
i always try to have a plan when i have those "relapse feelings" coming over me....and that plan is to reach out to my al-anon group and do absolutely nothing.
sometimes, it was just getting through a minute at a time....not a day at a time.
it was really tough, but if i did nothing when i felt like that.....it would finally pass.
course, i would have gerbils in my brain for a day or two....but if i did not react to my feelings, i always felt so much better after i let myself wallow in my own self imposed misery for a while. at least i didnt reach out in any way to him.....so i would be grateful for that, at least. then i had to work on getting rid of them damn gerbils!
big ole hugs to you darlin!
jeri
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 11
relapse...? dont be too hard on yourself I havent even started yet lol
the main thing is just that you acknowledged pretty quickly what you were doing and hopefully that will give you the encouragement to try even harder.
the main thing is just that you acknowledged pretty quickly what you were doing and hopefully that will give you the encouragement to try even harder.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Tollbooth.
I had a few relapses in my head today but didn't "pick up" thank goodness.
I agree with everyone here - you acknowledged it and shared so that's the main thing. Tomorrow is another day. One day at a time huh?
I had a few relapses in my head today but didn't "pick up" thank goodness.
I agree with everyone here - you acknowledged it and shared so that's the main thing. Tomorrow is another day. One day at a time huh?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I noticed a pattern in the times of my vulnerability. I got lonely in the evenings.
Now I work 3-11pm mostly. Now those times that I used to dread are no problem. I'm most clear headed in the am. I am busy all day. I'm sleeping all night. It was the evenings when I broke down.
Now I work 3-11pm mostly. Now those times that I used to dread are no problem. I'm most clear headed in the am. I am busy all day. I'm sleeping all night. It was the evenings when I broke down.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Buffalo NY
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by mallowcup 
I noticed a pattern in the times of my vulnerability. I got lonely in the evenings.
Now I work 3-11pm mostly. Now those times that I used to dread are no problem. I'm most clear headed in the am. I am busy all day. I'm sleeping all night. It was the evenings when I broke down.
Now I work 3-11pm mostly. Now those times that I used to dread are no problem. I'm most clear headed in the am. I am busy all day. I'm sleeping all night. It was the evenings when I broke down.
BEHAVE YOURSELF TOOLBOOTH! BEHAVE!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
Your "relapse" post made me remember something I learned from the Landmark Forum that I attended 10 years ago. They promote "powerful living" IIRC, and said "the difference between living powerfully and not powerfully" is not whether you screw up, it's how long it takes to get back on track. Just the same as with addiction, sin, dieting, whatever, is it realistic to expect perfection? We're not perfect, that's for certain. Just keep striving to stay on the straight and narrow as close as you can. It's what we're all trying to do, doggone it.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
