Midnightfrost

So I've been round and round with my mother. On cycles where she does better for 6 months to a year and then slips back into a nonfunctioning stupor that is a process that takes a year or 2. Well I've been through this 3 or 4 times now. We're back to the nonfuctioning stupor phase again and I just can't seem to muster enough energy to get involved. Lots of apathy and detachment. Its weird I went through a couple of weeks where I kicked into savior gear and then all the sudden it was like NO I'm not doing this again and it all faded into the back ground. The last week and a half has been hellish. I've felt like something was torn apart inside. I think it was guilt over not saving her again. I called social services so someone could get involved that was not emotionally tied to the situation. So they could get her help. And I just stepped away. I talked to her for the first time in a week yesterday. She wanted to bemoan her many woes. And I just couldn't get all worked up over it. I listened put in my 2 cents and when she wanted to start all over again I just got off the phone. She used my stuff to get me on the phone. She said she didn't have room for some of it and I told her she could get rid of most of it. All the sudden she had room for it. Just used it to get me on the phone. I was polite and calm but I got off the phone quickly. I like it that way. Has anyone else had this happen?

Midnightfrost

this topic may be better for the substance abuser's. As my mum is a substance abuser not an alcoholic. If the powers that be agree feel free to move it. Thanks!

Pick-a-name

I have felt the same. I think it is referred to around here as being "sick and tired of being sick and tired".

Detatching with love seems to be the best option (still not easy) and probably the best in terms of helping the A, in the long run.

Sorry you are hurting....addiction is difficult for everyone involved;there is no getting around that.

denny57

I don't think it matters what the addiction is. I agree with Pick, it's the sick and tired feeling. I reached it, too. Ended up in Al-Anon and therapy and it's been upward since.

It's very difficult to sever the ties with a loved one.