new and need HELP
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Union, NJ
Posts: 3
new and need HELP
My name is Kim. I'm new in here, trying to find a place....My husband is an alcoholic. He has been for years. I really don't know how to sum every thing up in just a little note, but I'll try. Things are getting worse! He denies drinking...has "quit" several times. And is getting more and more violent. Not so much phyical....yet....but verbally and just plain weird. I don't know what to do I don't know where to turn. I have no family in the area and only a few friends. So in short no where to "run" to. Part of me wants to pack up and leave,but I have no where to go and absolutly NO money at all. I'm a stay at home mom and can't afford to get a job yet, my kids are 4 and 7. So I could use some help or just a keyboard to cry on...(so to speak). Thanks for listening to me babble and I'm sorry if it dragged on or doesn't make sense.
I used to work here ;)
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: I live in Trevose, PA & collect Barbies :)
Posts: 2,024
Hi lilkim and welcome to the forums.
First I would suggest reading the powerposts at the top of both the anon forums. I really don't have any words of wisdom. Some times just venting and being around other that understand what you are going through can help. Have you tried any face to face al-anon meetings?
I can tell you one thing though, you need to take care of yourself and your kids. If he is getting violent you do need to have a plan, just in case. Perhaps start saving a little money, have the phone number of a shelter close by. It may not come to it but being prepared is a good thing and safety is a top priorty.
Again welcome, I wish I had more advise or some answers for you. I am sure other will be along soon to welcome you also.
Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
First I would suggest reading the powerposts at the top of both the anon forums. I really don't have any words of wisdom. Some times just venting and being around other that understand what you are going through can help. Have you tried any face to face al-anon meetings?
I can tell you one thing though, you need to take care of yourself and your kids. If he is getting violent you do need to have a plan, just in case. Perhaps start saving a little money, have the phone number of a shelter close by. It may not come to it but being prepared is a good thing and safety is a top priorty.
Again welcome, I wish I had more advise or some answers for you. I am sure other will be along soon to welcome you also.
Take care.
Many hugs,
Debbie
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: California
Posts: 329
Welcome to the boards lilkimi!!
You have here to run to and it is always open and someone here to turn to. All the people here are so great and full of advise. We all have a common bond and can relate to eachother. I have been married to my husband who has a drinking problem for 25yrs. Over the years it has gotten worse because alcoholism is a progressive disease. They have to want to get help themselves Kim. We can't force them to stop drinking! You need to take care of yourself. Read the sticky power posts at the top of the Alanon and Naranon boards. They have alot of great information!!
Keep coming back and take care,
matters
You have here to run to and it is always open and someone here to turn to. All the people here are so great and full of advise. We all have a common bond and can relate to eachother. I have been married to my husband who has a drinking problem for 25yrs. Over the years it has gotten worse because alcoholism is a progressive disease. They have to want to get help themselves Kim. We can't force them to stop drinking! You need to take care of yourself. Read the sticky power posts at the top of the Alanon and Naranon boards. They have alot of great information!!
Keep coming back and take care,
matters
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
welcome lilkimi
i can only add the recomendation for alanon. you could sure benifit from the friends and careing people you will find there.
they are very much like those you find here with the added benifit of the physical presence of others in similar circumstances.
your not alone, we all know the pain of watching someone we love fall to the clutches of the booze.
Keep coming back and do seek out a meeting for yourself and as
debbie said you need to seek a plan in case anything turns for the worse and you need to get out in a hurry.
God Bless you
liddy
i can only add the recomendation for alanon. you could sure benifit from the friends and careing people you will find there.
they are very much like those you find here with the added benifit of the physical presence of others in similar circumstances.
your not alone, we all know the pain of watching someone we love fall to the clutches of the booze.
Keep coming back and do seek out a meeting for yourself and as
debbie said you need to seek a plan in case anything turns for the worse and you need to get out in a hurry.
God Bless you
liddy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Ohio
Posts: 444
(((((((lilkimi)))))))))
Welcome! You are not alone! This is a wonderful place to share your feelings, develop friendships, and gain wisdom! So glad you found us! Keep posting and take good care of yourself and your young-uns.
Lyn
Lyn
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Hey lilkimi,
I too am married to an alcoholic. 15 years just a couple of months ago and have three children. (12, 8, 3) Top priority is yourself and their safety. A plan is a great place to start just in case you need it. Do you have a local church? I am sure that they could be of assistance if you ask. I know my church assist in LOTS of different situations.
Keep working on you, and be safe!
Constant
I too am married to an alcoholic. 15 years just a couple of months ago and have three children. (12, 8, 3) Top priority is yourself and their safety. A plan is a great place to start just in case you need it. Do you have a local church? I am sure that they could be of assistance if you ask. I know my church assist in LOTS of different situations.
Keep working on you, and be safe!
Constant
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