Do you think we have a purpose?
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 223
Do you think we have a purpose?
This may come off as a little kooky, but bear with me. I'm a big believer in everything happens for a reason. I really believe that a higher power has a special purpose for all of us codies. We really are some pretty powerful people. We may most times look at ourselves as weak, but if you really step back and take a look at us, we're incredibly strong. We've had to be, it's been ingrained into our being to adapt and adjust to adversity. Your average Jo or Jane doesn't have that skill set. We do. It sucks beyond belief how we've developed those abilities, but hey, if they were just magically given to us, we wouldn't know what to do with them, nor would we appreciate them. I honestly don't believe our long arduous journey through life is all for nothing. We're all being prepped and groomed for a bigger and better purpose in my opinion.
Any thoughts? I do, some are serious, some are silly, but figured I'd get some input from everyone else before posting all of the thoughts clanging around in my head this morning.
Any thoughts? I do, some are serious, some are silly, but figured I'd get some input from everyone else before posting all of the thoughts clanging around in my head this morning.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
YES, I do believe we have a purpose. As long as we don't start thinking we're all knowing, all powerful, all fixing, we're okay, I guess! There have been times when a friend and I have looked back and thought "so THAT's why that person was in my life!" Then there are times when I wonder why in the world I had that period of time with that other person. Sometimes the happenings are good and sometimes bad. Sometimes the lessons are for us, and sometimes the lessons are for others. But yes, I think we all intertwine for reasons that are known and unknown to us.
As for the alcoholic journey ... what is the purpose? Was it meant as a test for me? Was it meant to help my XABF? Was I meant to volunteer in the field? Or was it meant to point out weaknesses in my own mind? Or all of it!
I accept the lessons and now I accept my limitations. And boy do I have a lot of them!
As for the alcoholic journey ... what is the purpose? Was it meant as a test for me? Was it meant to help my XABF? Was I meant to volunteer in the field? Or was it meant to point out weaknesses in my own mind? Or all of it!
I accept the lessons and now I accept my limitations. And boy do I have a lot of them!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
Great Question.
Your thoughts really gave ME alot to think about!!
I guess my family of origin set me up nicely to learn a lifetime of valuable lessons about being clear and powerful. I learned it, forgot it, learned it, ignored it. Learned it and remembered, but then forgot again.
I guess, also, I can feel like all of this mess in my life has had purpose ONLY if I can transmute it. If it does shift, and if I contribute my healed perspective to the rest of the world in an everyday way as a result of that, then I feel like the pain and work were worth it.
Being dealt my life circumstances is not something that I have ever felt, "why me" about. I feel an innate sense of duty to figure it out...and maybe this has served as a crutch to remain with hurtful people in the past, but, believe it or not, I am a progressing person. I think I did get well, had a few good relationships, and then sort of attracted another mess of dysfunction in my life...with this relationship.
Maybe it is denial, but, I choose to believe that rather than this being a backslide, or a slip in my progress, that it is really just a new level, the next layer of the onion that is my work on ME; If I am going to heal this thing, I am going to HEAL THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!! I dont want to be coming back lifetime after lifetime to wrestle with the same issues... I want to complete this level.I almost feel like, I was walking away, thinking I had learned and healed it all, and someone said, "oops, there is still a big piece over here you havent worked out."
They are all gifts, but I feel and realize that I cant just smile, and say, 'AH, life, its kickin' my ass'...I believe the gift and the PURPOSE comes from wrestling with it on the mat. Pushing through the pain, allowing the anger, and ultimately coming to where I am accepting joy. plain and simple accepting joy,and accepting me, and not needing to use PEOPLE outside of me to hurt me...being a child, and growing up, over and over, all the while, (hopefully) moving up the spiral.
I just have to keep moving up. So, the same mistakes arent REALLY the same mistakes... I am moving upward, and I am changing. Hopefully needing less and less time in the dysfunction and more and more time in the serenity.
I guess my family of origin set me up nicely to learn a lifetime of valuable lessons about being clear and powerful. I learned it, forgot it, learned it, ignored it. Learned it and remembered, but then forgot again.
I guess, also, I can feel like all of this mess in my life has had purpose ONLY if I can transmute it. If it does shift, and if I contribute my healed perspective to the rest of the world in an everyday way as a result of that, then I feel like the pain and work were worth it.
Being dealt my life circumstances is not something that I have ever felt, "why me" about. I feel an innate sense of duty to figure it out...and maybe this has served as a crutch to remain with hurtful people in the past, but, believe it or not, I am a progressing person. I think I did get well, had a few good relationships, and then sort of attracted another mess of dysfunction in my life...with this relationship.
Maybe it is denial, but, I choose to believe that rather than this being a backslide, or a slip in my progress, that it is really just a new level, the next layer of the onion that is my work on ME; If I am going to heal this thing, I am going to HEAL THE WHOLE DAMN THING!!! I dont want to be coming back lifetime after lifetime to wrestle with the same issues... I want to complete this level.I almost feel like, I was walking away, thinking I had learned and healed it all, and someone said, "oops, there is still a big piece over here you havent worked out."
They are all gifts, but I feel and realize that I cant just smile, and say, 'AH, life, its kickin' my ass'...I believe the gift and the PURPOSE comes from wrestling with it on the mat. Pushing through the pain, allowing the anger, and ultimately coming to where I am accepting joy. plain and simple accepting joy,and accepting me, and not needing to use PEOPLE outside of me to hurt me...being a child, and growing up, over and over, all the while, (hopefully) moving up the spiral.
I just have to keep moving up. So, the same mistakes arent REALLY the same mistakes... I am moving upward, and I am changing. Hopefully needing less and less time in the dysfunction and more and more time in the serenity.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 223
Awesome responses. You guys are great at articulating much of how I'm feeling about my life.
I absolutely agree with not falling into the trap of the "all knowing". That's part of what got me in to many of the pickles in my life. I was the Queen of all know it all's. It took me hitting bottom to purge that aspect of myself. Thus again, proving my point that a higher power has a reason. If I'd not been brought to that level, I'd have never addressed that part of my personality. Thus not making any growth in who I am and where I'm supposed to be. I kind of look at my rock bottom a forest fire. As devastating as it is, it is necessary in order to promote new, healthy growth. Does that make any sense?
Buffalo, I'm totally with you on the onion analogy. Every success or ever set back I have in my life seems to peel back another layer as to who I am. I am finding that I am pretty freakin awesome. I've discovered that I can gracefully handle just about any situation that is thrown my way. When most people run from their problems, I've learned that I am fully capable and brave enough at this point in my life to take anything that comes at me head on, and with confidence. For an instance, I hesitated at first to take my current job because of the busybody gossip who works there. Then I figured, how silly would that be? Why would I let her issues control my life?
Anyway, I have to run, but will check back in later.
I absolutely agree with not falling into the trap of the "all knowing". That's part of what got me in to many of the pickles in my life. I was the Queen of all know it all's. It took me hitting bottom to purge that aspect of myself. Thus again, proving my point that a higher power has a reason. If I'd not been brought to that level, I'd have never addressed that part of my personality. Thus not making any growth in who I am and where I'm supposed to be. I kind of look at my rock bottom a forest fire. As devastating as it is, it is necessary in order to promote new, healthy growth. Does that make any sense?
Buffalo, I'm totally with you on the onion analogy. Every success or ever set back I have in my life seems to peel back another layer as to who I am. I am finding that I am pretty freakin awesome. I've discovered that I can gracefully handle just about any situation that is thrown my way. When most people run from their problems, I've learned that I am fully capable and brave enough at this point in my life to take anything that comes at me head on, and with confidence. For an instance, I hesitated at first to take my current job because of the busybody gossip who works there. Then I figured, how silly would that be? Why would I let her issues control my life?
Anyway, I have to run, but will check back in later.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Yup i believe that there is a purpose for everyone-although we may not know what that purpose is as long as we keep LIVING that is our own purpose! Being aware and moving forward with growth and expierence, learning every step of the way..I believe that everything falls into place in its own time. Trying to figure out our purpose is wasting time on living-Seeing yourself as you want to be is the key to personal growth and purpose of my life!
And just as LaTee I'm more aware of that today!
thanks for the reminder LaTee!
Great post hmbld
And just as LaTee I'm more aware of that today!
thanks for the reminder LaTee! Great post hmbld
Royalty
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 366
Always.
There is a purpose....we just have to figure out what that purpose is. I've been asking myself that question alot lately.....and your post was the first thing I saw when I logged in after several months away....
I still don't have the answer(s), but maybe someday I will.
I still don't have the answer(s), but maybe someday I will.
Becoming a Butterfly
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 904
Here's what Kurt Vonnegut has to say about it in Cat's Cradle:
Verses 2-4 (?): In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.
And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. "What is the purpose of all this?" he asked politely.
"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God.
"Certainly," said man.
"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God.
And He went away. [ 118 ]
Verses 2-4 (?): In the beginning, God created the earth, and he looked upon it in His cosmic loneliness.
And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what We have done." And God created every living creature that now moveth, and one was man. Mud as man alone could speak. God leaned close as mud as man sat up, looked around, and spoke. Man blinked. "What is the purpose of all this?" he asked politely.
"Everything must have a purpose?" asked God.
"Certainly," said man.
"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all this," said God.
And He went away. [ 118 ]
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I once knew a girl who was a quadrapegic and she was an inspiration. She once said to me, God knows our abilities, He asks if we are willing. This girl had never lifted a spoon to her own mouth, yet she inspired me.
We all have a purpose.
I'm not a smirf, a hobbit or a codie. I think God speaks clearly regarding who we are yoke ourselves to and who we are to walk away from. One of my greatest fears is to learn how many people I was supposed to help and missed it because I was preoccupied. I have one relationship that superceides all others, that is the relationship that dictates my decisions. I realized that I served a husband who gave me nothing and ignored a God who gave me everything.
If there was ever a day when I felt any pride in overcoming adversity, it was before I became friends with a quadrapegic.
We all have a purpose.
I'm not a smirf, a hobbit or a codie. I think God speaks clearly regarding who we are yoke ourselves to and who we are to walk away from. One of my greatest fears is to learn how many people I was supposed to help and missed it because I was preoccupied. I have one relationship that superceides all others, that is the relationship that dictates my decisions. I realized that I served a husband who gave me nothing and ignored a God who gave me everything.
If there was ever a day when I felt any pride in overcoming adversity, it was before I became friends with a quadrapegic.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
Absolutely
I think we are often so involved in helping others, "fixing" others, or just trying to figure out everyone else, that we lose sight of our own purpose, or we overlook it altogether! But, yes, we have innate abilities that lead me to believe we were created to be significant. Not necessarily successful in the monetary sense of the world, but SIGNIFICANT.
I believe people on this board have suffered through personal tragedies, and I feel the wisdom they can share here makes sense out of those seemingly senseless tragedies. I've gotten to know people on F&F who have proven to me, through their support and love, that we each have a purpose.
I believe people on this board have suffered through personal tragedies, and I feel the wisdom they can share here makes sense out of those seemingly senseless tragedies. I've gotten to know people on F&F who have proven to me, through their support and love, that we each have a purpose.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
My purpose is to carry the message. My HP has seen fit to carry me thru a variety
of tribulations. Now I can show others that there is a way thru, that they are not
alone, and that together we can have a life that is happy, joyous and free
_regardless_ of whatever hardships come our way.
Today I have such a life. Today I can show others in the same manner that was once showed to me. My purpose is to receive the message from those that have gone before me and pass it along to those who come after me.
That's it. Doesn't sound like much, but when we _all_ do it, then becomes a powerful force of progress in the world.
Mike
of tribulations. Now I can show others that there is a way thru, that they are not
alone, and that together we can have a life that is happy, joyous and free
_regardless_ of whatever hardships come our way.
Today I have such a life. Today I can show others in the same manner that was once showed to me. My purpose is to receive the message from those that have gone before me and pass it along to those who come after me.
That's it. Doesn't sound like much, but when we _all_ do it, then becomes a powerful force of progress in the world.
Mike
Keepingmyjoy
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: NY
Posts: 328
It took me hitting bottom to purge that aspect of myself. Thus again, proving my point that a higher power has a reason. If I'd not been brought to that level, I'd have never addressed that part of my personality. Thus not making any growth in who I am and where I'm supposed to be. I kind of look at my rock bottom a forest fire. As devastating as it is, it is necessary in order to promote new, healthy growth
I just listened Dr. Wayne Dyer's "When you believe it you will see it" CD. Wow, it is really great--about the how part of changing the way you think. I liked it. But your comment reminded me of something he said: :We have to die to live. As he explained it, it is the very same concept that you are describing. It makes perfect sense to me.
I agree that we are some really awesome strong people! I believe that we do not find our purpose, our purpose finds us. But our purpose will not find us, or we will not see it until we clear away the distractions of our disfunctions or codependency, or whatever else keeps us wrapped up in turmoil.
Hope that doesn't sound too crazy to y'all!
I just listened Dr. Wayne Dyer's "When you believe it you will see it" CD. Wow, it is really great--about the how part of changing the way you think. I liked it. But your comment reminded me of something he said: :We have to die to live. As he explained it, it is the very same concept that you are describing. It makes perfect sense to me.
I agree that we are some really awesome strong people! I believe that we do not find our purpose, our purpose finds us. But our purpose will not find us, or we will not see it until we clear away the distractions of our disfunctions or codependency, or whatever else keeps us wrapped up in turmoil.
Hope that doesn't sound too crazy to y'all!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 126
My 2 cents :)
"Do you think we have a purpose?"
I have a 2 part answer to this question:
First......what I have come to believe is that our (all people's) purpose is to experience--I think that we are here on earth to have the human experience. I believe that life's experiences allow us to know ourselves--they give us opportunities for understanding through true inner feeling--and they give us the chance to grow--and to grow closer to God.
I definitely believe that we each have many, most, or all of the experiences that we do for a reason.....that reason being that with each experience comes that opportunity for growth! I believe it is each of our goals as humans to grow closer and closer to God, ourselves, and each other (I believe that we are all one) and we can do so through life's experiences.
So, when I think about the painful experiences I have been through in life--some of which I didn't choose (like being born into an alcoholic/dysfunctional home) and some of which I "blindly" led myself into (like my current relationship with my AHBF)---I try to look at what I have GAINED from the past, and also what I can gain from the present. Sometimes I am able to look back--and I feel lucky to have had these experiences (even as horrible as some of them are were at the time), because if my life was "perfect" I wonder, would I have what I have today inside of me? Out of my suffering came a love that I had never known before.....
Having grown up with an abusive AH father was really hard, scary, painful, etc.....and today it is still very hard to deal with --BUT through the pain: I found recovery--I found God & spirituality--I found myself-- I found love, and compassion, and kindness, and understanding.... I believe our pains & our suffering are opportunities for GROWTH.
Second---about our specific purposes---like our purpose as codies:
I believe that our purpose is what we want it to be. I don't believe that for us as codie's, or for anyone, that God has a specific purpose written out for our life, like "John Doe: life purpose is to be a teacher."
I think that, like I said above--we are here to grow--but we can also choose not to grow....
We always have the choice (free will) to determine what we want our specific purpose to be...and I think we can have many purposes through each of our lives, and that they can be changing....
So as codie's for example, we have had certain life experiences that have affected us in certain ways...we can choose what to do with this....
If we choose to try to gain from our experiences and take them as opportunities for growth--then, like hmbld said: we can begin to see our inner strength and see the unique "skill sets" we hold, and see the other great things we have have taken from our past experiences.....We can choose to make our experiences, and our resulting "codie characteristics" and behaviors purposeful.
Okay, sorry for rambling & I hope I didn't repeat myself too much here or state the obvious! Haha.....I hope this all makes sense!.....pretty complicated subject & it's late! Thanks for listening!
I have a 2 part answer to this question:
First......what I have come to believe is that our (all people's) purpose is to experience--I think that we are here on earth to have the human experience. I believe that life's experiences allow us to know ourselves--they give us opportunities for understanding through true inner feeling--and they give us the chance to grow--and to grow closer to God.
I definitely believe that we each have many, most, or all of the experiences that we do for a reason.....that reason being that with each experience comes that opportunity for growth! I believe it is each of our goals as humans to grow closer and closer to God, ourselves, and each other (I believe that we are all one) and we can do so through life's experiences.
So, when I think about the painful experiences I have been through in life--some of which I didn't choose (like being born into an alcoholic/dysfunctional home) and some of which I "blindly" led myself into (like my current relationship with my AHBF)---I try to look at what I have GAINED from the past, and also what I can gain from the present. Sometimes I am able to look back--and I feel lucky to have had these experiences (even as horrible as some of them are were at the time), because if my life was "perfect" I wonder, would I have what I have today inside of me? Out of my suffering came a love that I had never known before.....
Having grown up with an abusive AH father was really hard, scary, painful, etc.....and today it is still very hard to deal with --BUT through the pain: I found recovery--I found God & spirituality--I found myself-- I found love, and compassion, and kindness, and understanding.... I believe our pains & our suffering are opportunities for GROWTH.
Second---about our specific purposes---like our purpose as codies:
I believe that our purpose is what we want it to be. I don't believe that for us as codie's, or for anyone, that God has a specific purpose written out for our life, like "John Doe: life purpose is to be a teacher."
I think that, like I said above--we are here to grow--but we can also choose not to grow....
We always have the choice (free will) to determine what we want our specific purpose to be...and I think we can have many purposes through each of our lives, and that they can be changing....
So as codie's for example, we have had certain life experiences that have affected us in certain ways...we can choose what to do with this....
If we choose to try to gain from our experiences and take them as opportunities for growth--then, like hmbld said: we can begin to see our inner strength and see the unique "skill sets" we hold, and see the other great things we have have taken from our past experiences.....We can choose to make our experiences, and our resulting "codie characteristics" and behaviors purposeful.
Okay, sorry for rambling & I hope I didn't repeat myself too much here or state the obvious! Haha.....I hope this all makes sense!.....pretty complicated subject & it's late! Thanks for listening!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 223
You guys all have so much insight! Thanks so much for sharing it.
I know it sounds totally sappy, but this place, and you guys have really been a huge part in my ability find myself again. I've not met a single one of ya (that I know of), but every single person who's post I have read has made a huge impact (in a positive way) on my life. So anyone who is feeling hopeless, and helpless, and useless. Please know that you are not. Your posts impact so many, because I'm sure it is not just me who feels this way.
Big hugs to all of you.
I know it sounds totally sappy, but this place, and you guys have really been a huge part in my ability find myself again. I've not met a single one of ya (that I know of), but every single person who's post I have read has made a huge impact (in a positive way) on my life. So anyone who is feeling hopeless, and helpless, and useless. Please know that you are not. Your posts impact so many, because I'm sure it is not just me who feels this way.
Big hugs to all of you.
My Cape Is at The Cleaners
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Metropolis
Posts: 1,117
I firmly believe we create our own purpose in life.
Our destiny can change at any given moment as a result of our choices.
We share our accomplishments and failings to teach those of life and love.
Does one listen, well not always. They must fall on their own and in the end see the truth of their actions. So, do we have a purpose, yes maybe we do.
Maybe we have to fail , fall and get up on our own and the purpose is the realty of it all. To live with happiness and fulfillment will be the reward.
Wow very Zen of me.
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Our destiny can change at any given moment as a result of our choices.
We share our accomplishments and failings to teach those of life and love.
Does one listen, well not always. They must fall on their own and in the end see the truth of their actions. So, do we have a purpose, yes maybe we do.
Maybe we have to fail , fall and get up on our own and the purpose is the realty of it all. To live with happiness and fulfillment will be the reward.
Wow very Zen of me.
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
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