randomthoughts

My name is Angela, and I'm the child of an alcoholic/drug addict father, and a Gambling addict mom.

My dad I gave up many years ago, and have no contact with. It took me 15 years to forgive him, but the damage he did to my family is still with me every day.

My mom, well, she's the reason I'm here today. I can't help her, so I'm trying to help myself before she takes me and the rest of the family down with her. At this very moment, she's out gambling away the very last of her money. She's been at Bingo now for 13 hours, and it's her 14th stint in 16 days. She's totally out of control......and I'm very frightened. The lying and sneaking around is the worst part. Actually, that's not true. The worst is that I no longer trust her, or anything that comes out of her mouth.....and since she lives with me, it's making it extremely difficult to cope with. I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, and making preparations for when it does. I spent all of today on the phone with lawyers, addiction counsellors, and hiding my cheques and credit cards. Horrible, horrible feeling to know you can't trust your mom.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a gambling addiction specialist, to plan an intervention. Wish me luck.

I'm so thankful I stumbled upon this forum, and I am looking forward to reading more.

you would like me to share- I'm so jumbled right now I feel as if I can't put the right words down.

CarolD

Glad you found us....Welcome!

Sounds as tho you are doing all you can
at this point. Good for you.

Blessings to you and yoour family

randomthoughts

Thank you Carol. It's been a rough month. I've been home on a sick leave from work for about 10 weeks, and it's been a revelation. I hadnt seen the extent of her addiction, because she hid it well. She can't hide it anymore, and is clearly escalating her need to sneak. I'm just so angry with her. After all she, and my dad, and stepdad put me through, and now this. It's overwhelming, but I will do what I need to do- whether that means walking away from her, or getting her into treatment if she will go.

Gambling addiction is almost scarier than my dad's alcoholism: there's really no good treatments, and so little information available for it, plus, it's easier to hide.

sigh.......

CarolD

I've not dealt with that addiction ...alcohol is mine.
So I have no clue.

An old friend of mine ..now dead...wrote a book on
gambling addiction. Sorry...don't recall the title.

Dr. Robert Custer was considered an uthority
and was head of the U.S. Vetern Adminstration's
section on gambling.
You might be able to find it using Google.

Hope your health issues are improving.
Take care

Spiritual Seeker

good luck with your plan to "rescue" your mom. I hope she accepts the help you offer. As family members (you must know by now) we try to get to a place that no matter what the A is doing, we must move forward in our own lives to a joyful place.
I have heard of many interventions working.

CarolD

Angela...
Here is the book I mentioned earlier

When Luck Runs Out: Help for Compulsive Gamblers and Their Families
by Robert Custer, Harry Milt

Not sure if it's in print or not.

mallowcup

I think that you are doing several things right. You don't take responsibility for her issues or your fathers. You are seeking knowledge which is power and most importantly, you are remaining proactive. You seem very rational and focused on gettign the right kind of help. I'm always amazed at the little kids who rise above their circumstances and grow up to be awesome adults.

ICU

Hi Angela, and welcome to SR. Glad you found us.

I don't have any experience with gambling issues, but I know that we have another forum here that deals with this exact issue. If you'd like to take a look, here's the link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...sive-gambling/

In any event, keep posting where ever you feel most comfortable.

Again, welcome to SR. Keep coming back!

Barbara52

Welcome. I wish you good luck with your intervention.

I've seen the effects of gambling as I watched a neighbor's marriage fall apart. It is indeed horrible sometimes.

Rella927

Welcome to SR Angela! Glad that you found us!!

It sounds as if you are on the right path-which is a wonderful thing-you know that what you are doing is all you can do. Truly glad that you are reaching out to find more help for this situation. Keep up that great focus and take care of you in the process!

muzyrules

Hi there, I am new as well and also live in Western Canada. I just got out of a program (resedential) in Calgary called Aventa they have a great gambeling addiction program, I would recomend it to anyone, it was amazing (I am a drug addict but the programs are combined) if you would like to talk or want more information drop me a note anytime. Take care of YOU.:praying

denny57

Welcome!

Good luck with the intervention and keep posting!

randomthoughts

Thank you all for your kind words and support

It was a very stressful day- I spent most of it vibrating with anxiety. Had to come home and take my Effexor to calm down.
My brother and I had our meeting with the Gambling addiction counselor, and she pretty much just told us what we already knew. She did give us the name of a dual diagnosis doctor- it's become abundantly clear that my mom has severe depression, is overusing her Oxy's ( she has spinal neuropathy), and the gambling to boot.
The counselor pointed out that she may have an underlying med condition that the meds and her gambling are covering up- it may be a type of dementia or something. Great....something else for us to worry about. We have some tough choices to make, and we are both nervous.

We also went to see the family GP, and filled her in on everything. She's going to try to get my mom in, and then refer her to a psychiatrist, and Geriatrician ( old person doctor that specializes in mental health issues). My poor brother is just devastated. The next call we made was to my aunt- she's been in the dark about everything because my mother is hiding from her, and she doesnt live near. That went over well.

we are planning our intervention tomorrow morning, hopefully it goes ok. We would have done it tonight, but mom is at bingo...no surprises there.

ok for personals....
Carol: thanks so much for the book info- I will reserve at the library for it.

Mallowcup: you are so sweet. Your comment made me teary eyed

Muzyrules: thank you for the info. I will take u up on your offer to chat. It sounds like a perfect place for her.,,, now to just get her to go,

Icu: thanks for the link. I checked it out, but it looks like a slow board. I like this one, so if it's ok for me to keep posting, I would love to.

Many thanks to everyone else....your support means so much to me. I've felt so alone with this, it's good to know that I'm not.

Goodnight all, big hugs and kisses.......

ICU

It's more than 'ok' for you to keep posting here! I just gave you that link as another option...perhaps something there might have helped or inspired you!

I wish you and your brother much luck with your intervention tomorrow. Let us know how it goes.

And....keep coming back!

Aquarian

Good luck with the intervention. They did an alcholic intervention on my mother in-law 2 yrs ago, my stomach was sick all day wondering.... (it was out of town). It went beautifully! She 'got it' and felt the love. She has been sober ever since.

My AH had a short 'thing' for gambling when we first married. He'd lock all of our bills in the trunk of his car to hide them. Wow it made me nervous, and furious when I found out!

Hope it goes well for your family!