update
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
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update
Update...
My sister came home after a little more than a week. Admitted to my parents she's been using and wants help. She gave my mom her paraphernalia, which was a huge step. They also got the car keys back from her. Dad had been letting her use a car.
I told my mom that my sister is the one who will need to make the calls and find the help. If she's serious, she will. Sister said on Monday she'll start calling. Of course, my first reaction was that if she's back at my parents house, she needs to get checked out medically and get the prof. help now, but I'm not the parent, only the sister watching and listening. Also, my sister brought the bf with her and he said he needs help, too, so they both can find a place together. Money for rehab is an issue, though. My parents can't afford thousands of dollars to help her and I won't take from my savings. I just can't. I pray she will find something that will help her.
My mom asked if I would go with her to a parent/family meeting tomorrow. Hopefully, my mom can find support from other parents.
I'm really just worn out by the whole thing. It hurts seeing my mom hurt so much. Hopefully, I'll find more strength when dealing with my family for myself tomorrow at the meeting.
As for myself, I've cut back on some things at work I really didn't want to do any longer. Too many committees, projects, etc. that I really didn't have to say yes to.
I'm really trying to get to the core of my own happiness, but right now I'm just going through the motions again. It seems there's always something out of balance.
I'm not quite sure what I need to do, if anything. I'm listening and watching for signs. That's all I can do right now.
My sister came home after a little more than a week. Admitted to my parents she's been using and wants help. She gave my mom her paraphernalia, which was a huge step. They also got the car keys back from her. Dad had been letting her use a car.
I told my mom that my sister is the one who will need to make the calls and find the help. If she's serious, she will. Sister said on Monday she'll start calling. Of course, my first reaction was that if she's back at my parents house, she needs to get checked out medically and get the prof. help now, but I'm not the parent, only the sister watching and listening. Also, my sister brought the bf with her and he said he needs help, too, so they both can find a place together. Money for rehab is an issue, though. My parents can't afford thousands of dollars to help her and I won't take from my savings. I just can't. I pray she will find something that will help her.
My mom asked if I would go with her to a parent/family meeting tomorrow. Hopefully, my mom can find support from other parents.
I'm really just worn out by the whole thing. It hurts seeing my mom hurt so much. Hopefully, I'll find more strength when dealing with my family for myself tomorrow at the meeting.
As for myself, I've cut back on some things at work I really didn't want to do any longer. Too many committees, projects, etc. that I really didn't have to say yes to.
I'm really trying to get to the core of my own happiness, but right now I'm just going through the motions again. It seems there's always something out of balance.
I'm not quite sure what I need to do, if anything. I'm listening and watching for signs. That's all I can do right now.
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Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Lake Luzerne
Posts: 1,786
I think what really helped me was to really take the time to sit and define what helping really was. In your head you know that she has to do this on her own. In your heart, you believe that if you just get her into a place, you'll have helped.
You know what that turns into.
You find a place, you'll have to help her register, you'll have to decide what to pack and then pack it, you'll find out all the rules and regs of the rehab place, you'll explain all this to your parents, you'll have to drive her over there and then go pick her up when she checks herself out because they are all jerks who don't know what they are doing. It's all one big circle back to the same place. If she really means it, it's time for her to step up and you to step aside.
You have to become convicted about this and then it is easier to do it.
You know what that turns into.
You find a place, you'll have to help her register, you'll have to decide what to pack and then pack it, you'll find out all the rules and regs of the rehab place, you'll explain all this to your parents, you'll have to drive her over there and then go pick her up when she checks herself out because they are all jerks who don't know what they are doing. It's all one big circle back to the same place. If she really means it, it's time for her to step up and you to step aside.
You have to become convicted about this and then it is easier to do it.
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Originally Posted by aztchr 
As for myself, I've cut back on some things at work I really didn't want to do any longer. Too many committees, projects, etc. that I really didn't have to say yes to.
I'm really trying to get to the core of my own happiness, but right now I'm just going through the motions again.
I'm really trying to get to the core of my own happiness, but right now I'm just going through the motions again.
Sounds like you're working your way through, and that's great. ((()))
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
Originally Posted by mallowcup
I think what really helped me was to really take the time to sit and define what helping really was. In your head you know that she has to do this on her own. In your heart, you believe that if you just get her into a place, you'll have helped.
You know what that turns into.
You find a place, you'll have to help her register, you'll have to decide what to pack and then pack it, you'll find out all the rules and regs of the rehab place, you'll explain all this to your parents, you'll have to drive her over there and then go pick her up when she checks herself out because they are all jerks who don't know what they are doing. It's all one big circle back to the same place. If she really means it, it's time for her to step up and you to step aside.
You have to become convicted about this and then it is easier to do it.
You know what that turns into.
You find a place, you'll have to help her register, you'll have to decide what to pack and then pack it, you'll find out all the rules and regs of the rehab place, you'll explain all this to your parents, you'll have to drive her over there and then go pick her up when she checks herself out because they are all jerks who don't know what they are doing. It's all one big circle back to the same place. If she really means it, it's time for her to step up and you to step aside.
You have to become convicted about this and then it is easier to do it.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: phoenix arizona
Posts: 741
Yea!! I'm very proud of Mom for still going to the meeting today.
It was nice that she heard the same message about taking care of yourself from other people besides me. Lots of parents and newcomers to the meeting. Mom was definitely not alone! The leader shared her experience, what brought her there, etc. and then the topic was discussing the different slogans, what is working for you, etc.
We had dinner after and it was nice to have my mom back for a little bit.
I really do enjoy the meetings. I needed it, too. Makes it a little easy to start the new week.
It was nice that she heard the same message about taking care of yourself from other people besides me. Lots of parents and newcomers to the meeting. Mom was definitely not alone! The leader shared her experience, what brought her there, etc. and then the topic was discussing the different slogans, what is working for you, etc.
We had dinner after and it was nice to have my mom back for a little bit.
I really do enjoy the meetings. I needed it, too. Makes it a little easy to start the new week.
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