so so sad
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
so so sad
My son took a fall today, and landed the back of his little head on the radiator.
I ran him to the ER, he was crying sooooo hard. There was a long wait, and he was so sad, and scared, as was I, with him screaming for an hour and some in the waiting room. The doctor finally saw us, and he is fine, no major problem, just really scary, and I was relieved.
I came home, and the boy just was unable to get to sleep. I literally spent 4 hours singing to him, which is how he usually gets sleepy.I was so wiped out. I was so tired of being alone.I just wanted him to sleep so much. I felt so done for today, but as many of you know, kids are kids, and the work is truly never done. It was hard.
He just got to sleep, and I am so sad, and probably a little angry at my sons father.
How can he just not be willing to be there and be in our sons life?I mean in a healthy, present way? It was such a hard day, but, I would never trade it, because my baby brings me so much joy, and we are a family, me and him... and we laugh.
My exA just doesnt even have that experience as a reference. He has never cried from overextending himself, or over how we will eat this month, or pay the rent.
I am so alone. I have my family, and good friends, sure...But its been so long since anyone held ME at the end of a hard day. I just am so sad, and yes, I guess, I am pretty angry. He is literally walking around town barhopping every night. WTF?? I dont get it. I cannot fathom where he puts his shame or guilt.
I know, I need to get my eyes back on my own paper...Just a little vent.I needed to write it down. It was hard to be a parent alone today. good night B66
I ran him to the ER, he was crying sooooo hard. There was a long wait, and he was so sad, and scared, as was I, with him screaming for an hour and some in the waiting room. The doctor finally saw us, and he is fine, no major problem, just really scary, and I was relieved.
I came home, and the boy just was unable to get to sleep. I literally spent 4 hours singing to him, which is how he usually gets sleepy.I was so wiped out. I was so tired of being alone.I just wanted him to sleep so much. I felt so done for today, but as many of you know, kids are kids, and the work is truly never done. It was hard.
He just got to sleep, and I am so sad, and probably a little angry at my sons father.
How can he just not be willing to be there and be in our sons life?I mean in a healthy, present way? It was such a hard day, but, I would never trade it, because my baby brings me so much joy, and we are a family, me and him... and we laugh.
My exA just doesnt even have that experience as a reference. He has never cried from overextending himself, or over how we will eat this month, or pay the rent.
I am so alone. I have my family, and good friends, sure...But its been so long since anyone held ME at the end of a hard day. I just am so sad, and yes, I guess, I am pretty angry. He is literally walking around town barhopping every night. WTF?? I dont get it. I cannot fathom where he puts his shame or guilt.
I know, I need to get my eyes back on my own paper...Just a little vent.I needed to write it down. It was hard to be a parent alone today. good night B66
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
(((B66))) I understand what you are saying. Sorry that is the best "hug" I can send.
I get like that somedays and have to remind myself how lucky I am to not only get to spend the time with our kids (that exAH has and is missing) but know that I won't regret later that I missed it. I hurt for how he will feel if he ever does get into recovery and understand how much he had and threw away because he just could not see it.
I get like that somedays and have to remind myself how lucky I am to not only get to spend the time with our kids (that exAH has and is missing) but know that I won't regret later that I missed it. I hurt for how he will feel if he ever does get into recovery and understand how much he had and threw away because he just could not see it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Keepin' my side of the litterbox clean
Posts: 2,136
I cannot begin to appreciate how difficult it is to be a single parent. I really feel for you. Today was not a good one. Tomorrow will be better. Your child was not seriously injured, thankfully, and children are quite resiliant. He'll bounce back. As far as the father goes, you have every right to be angry. Please vent all you need to. Just keep in mind that your anger at him is kinda like drinking poison in order to kill him. He's out bar-hopping and being his usual irresponsible self. You are the one who has to take on the responsibilities of child-rearing.
There is a bright side to this picture. Your child is not being exposed to a drunk. One decent parent is far better than one decent parent and one drunk parent. What you are doing takes a lot of hard work and guts. Keep it up. You are building character and integrity in your child by setting the example as a responsible, loving parent.
(((Buffalo)))
There is a bright side to this picture. Your child is not being exposed to a drunk. One decent parent is far better than one decent parent and one drunk parent. What you are doing takes a lot of hard work and guts. Keep it up. You are building character and integrity in your child by setting the example as a responsible, loving parent.
(((Buffalo)))
full of hope
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 1,170
Buffalo! just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you! I'm so glad your little one is okay! He is very lucky to have you!!
I'm praying you both have a much, much better day!!
(((((Buffalo)))))
I'm praying you both have a much, much better day!!
(((((Buffalo)))))
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: "Somewhere in Ohio" ... little joke from past
Posts: 481
((((((BUFFALO!)))))
I went through the same feelings when I got divorced. How people can up & leave, and never look back at their kids is beyond me. But my ex did it, and I was left to handle 99% of everything.
After a while, I was able to say "what an a**hole, he lost his daughter!" Raise your son the right way. Do not badmouth your spouse, by raising your son correctly, HE will know the difference between right and wrong. Every once in a while my daughter (now 19) makes comments about how her father did her wrong. I just say "let this be a lesson to you on how YOU should NOT act with your own children."
It is your ex's loss. Enjoy all the time you have with your son!
As for you, I know what you're feeling. I like control, though, so I don't particularly care if I'm held or comforted. I'm not at a place where I feel I can trust a man long-term to be there. So I let my girlfriends comfort me! I talk to them, rant at them, cry to them, and they do the same. Maybe someday I'll find that man to hold me and comfort me, but better to have no man than a WRONG man!
I went through the same feelings when I got divorced. How people can up & leave, and never look back at their kids is beyond me. But my ex did it, and I was left to handle 99% of everything.
After a while, I was able to say "what an a**hole, he lost his daughter!" Raise your son the right way. Do not badmouth your spouse, by raising your son correctly, HE will know the difference between right and wrong. Every once in a while my daughter (now 19) makes comments about how her father did her wrong. I just say "let this be a lesson to you on how YOU should NOT act with your own children."
It is your ex's loss. Enjoy all the time you have with your son!
As for you, I know what you're feeling. I like control, though, so I don't particularly care if I'm held or comforted. I'm not at a place where I feel I can trust a man long-term to be there. So I let my girlfriends comfort me! I talk to them, rant at them, cry to them, and they do the same. Maybe someday I'll find that man to hold me and comfort me, but better to have no man than a WRONG man!
Glad the little one is ok! Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 104
Hey Buffalo, hang in there, it does get easier. I'm feeling for you right now. This past month has been hell for me too. My 4 yr. old daughter broke her arm, my 13 yr old son broke his nose, one bladder infection, two strep throats, two cases of pink eye and one tonsillitis. My youngest son woke up this morning to tell me that his throat hurt real bad. Guess that means he's failed on his antibiotics again. His pediatrician told me, one more time and he's having those tonsils out. Now a surgery to contend with. Throw in my car accident a couple of weeks ago, what a recipe for disaster. Guess what, I survived (barely) and so will you.
My A lives with us, but he just exists. I would rather be alone through these difficult time because it wouldn't be so hard to accept that I have a partner there that I can't depend on. Very disappointing.
I try to stay positive by telling myself (repeatedly I might add) that God wouldn't keep filling my plate if I wasn't strong enough to handle it. You know what, I keep getting past all of these hurdles, you'll make it too.
You're not alone, keep reaching out.
My A lives with us, but he just exists. I would rather be alone through these difficult time because it wouldn't be so hard to accept that I have a partner there that I can't depend on. Very disappointing.
I try to stay positive by telling myself (repeatedly I might add) that God wouldn't keep filling my plate if I wasn't strong enough to handle it. You know what, I keep getting past all of these hurdles, you'll make it too.
You're not alone, keep reaching out.
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