Lady BlueMiles

I'll be leaving for the airport in the wee hours of this morning to go out of State to my nieces wedding. (I'm finally all caught up with last minute stuff to do before leaving and HAVE to get to bed!) I'll be back late Sunday night. I want you all to know I'll miss you all till then. My brother has a computer and maybe I'll have a chance to get online and visit SR. It's been a lifeline for me.

I've been looking forward to this wedding for so long. My niece is SO excited to be getting married and to get a chance to visit with family members that live far away. My other niece (her sister) just had a baby last week so this trip will be lots of fun for me.

AH will be coming as he booked the flight. He had been hemming and hawing about it for quite some time due to financial stress and I had put off buying tickets waiting for a deal and secretly hoping he would decide we couldn't both afford to go. He surprised me one day and told me we were booked. I'm not upset that he's going, because now and again we can still have a very nice time together when he's not drinking, but I wouldn't have been upset if he didn't go. I enjoyed my vacation in July without him and could have enjoyed another break!

It feels strange that we're still going through the motions as a married couple with family when I feel like I'm only connected to him anymore by a thin piece of string in day to day life. He doesn't realize how much I've given up on us.

He's never been drunk or unruly around my family but it has been a very long time that he's been around them and I am a bit on edge about it. A lot has changed in the past two years with him.

Ironically, there will be no alcohol at her reception! There will be an after party at my brothers house though. I'll just have to take it a day at a time. What will be will be.

You'll all be in my thoughts and prayers while I'm gone.

ICU

A wedding and a new baby in the family, how wonderful! Lots of good reasons to celebrate, so enjoy every minute!


It's interesting that you should say that as it made me think about my last two relationships. In looking back, I realized that there came a point with each where I frequently looked forward to their absence vs. their presence in my life. And I thought I was just being 'moody', LOL! Nope, it was very telling! For me, it was definitely a sign that it was the beginning of the end. I wish I had payed more attention to those feelings', especially in the last relationship!

Anyway, have a wonderful, wonderful time at the wedding and enjoy the new little one. Have a safe trip and we'll see you when you get back!

Barbara52

I hope you have great trip! Weddings can be so much fun.

Rella927

I remember that hope well......not wanting him to go! Even know I did go most of the time alone I was still not alone unless I shut off the phone! It is a peace when we are or in my case away-I too like ICU wish I knew then what I know now and was able to be more aware of the emotions, feelings, reactions-what I was doing to myself! Its HUGE to be aware now! I love it!

Enjoy that trip and keep that positive energy flowing it is amazing how people change when we change-

Pick-a-name

I hope you have a wonderful time!!

Nice that the baby arrived last week; what great "timing"!