Alcoholic Dad/Ex Drinking Again - Help!
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Join Date: Feb 2006
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Alcoholic Dad/Ex Drinking Again - Help!
Hello all, it's been a while since I've been in these parts, but I have a question that I'm throwing out to you wise owls...
I got divorced one year ago, mainly due to my ex's continued financial deception despite seeing three therapists as well as his drinking (he got a DUI). The day after I initially asked for a divorce in 1/06, he said he was an alcoholic and immediately started going to AA, sometimes twice daily, and got a sponsor. I went to Al Anon meetings, starting hanging out on this site, and tried to support him in his sobriety. But nothing changed, and I realized that sober or not, I didn't want to be married to him anymore.
I happened upon his match.com profile in which he said he was a "social drinker" and into "wine tasting", but I tried not to think about since it wasn't my concern anymore. I figured he was having a rough time meeting chicks as an admitted alcoholic.
I know you're never supposed to involve the kids in this stuff, but one night, as innocently as I could, I asked our 9 year old if daddy ever drank beer or wine at home with them. And our son said he didn't think so, so that was a relief to me.
Over the weekend he took the kids to Medieval Times and had two beers. When our son saw this he mentioned what I had asked and my ex was livid. He said i should not be using the kids to "spy on him" and I am just waiting for him to call me back and scream at me. This restaurant is very far away and I think it was irresponsible for him to be drinking again at all, let alone when you have to drive the kids home a long way.
So my question is this -- what do you all think of someone who claims they are an alcoholic, quits drinking, starts going to AA, and then, less than two years later is drinking again? Does it mean that he is not an alcoholic, that he just can't stay sober, or what?
Does anyone have some words of wisdom for me? Please write!
Thanks!
I got divorced one year ago, mainly due to my ex's continued financial deception despite seeing three therapists as well as his drinking (he got a DUI). The day after I initially asked for a divorce in 1/06, he said he was an alcoholic and immediately started going to AA, sometimes twice daily, and got a sponsor. I went to Al Anon meetings, starting hanging out on this site, and tried to support him in his sobriety. But nothing changed, and I realized that sober or not, I didn't want to be married to him anymore.
I happened upon his match.com profile in which he said he was a "social drinker" and into "wine tasting", but I tried not to think about since it wasn't my concern anymore. I figured he was having a rough time meeting chicks as an admitted alcoholic.
I know you're never supposed to involve the kids in this stuff, but one night, as innocently as I could, I asked our 9 year old if daddy ever drank beer or wine at home with them. And our son said he didn't think so, so that was a relief to me.
Over the weekend he took the kids to Medieval Times and had two beers. When our son saw this he mentioned what I had asked and my ex was livid. He said i should not be using the kids to "spy on him" and I am just waiting for him to call me back and scream at me. This restaurant is very far away and I think it was irresponsible for him to be drinking again at all, let alone when you have to drive the kids home a long way.
So my question is this -- what do you all think of someone who claims they are an alcoholic, quits drinking, starts going to AA, and then, less than two years later is drinking again? Does it mean that he is not an alcoholic, that he just can't stay sober, or what?
Does anyone have some words of wisdom for me? Please write!
Thanks!
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