It's Been a Few Months
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 16
It's Been a Few Months
It has been a few months since I last posted here. My alcoholic ex boyfriend never came back. My refusal to remain in denial chased him away for good.
The only contact I have had with him was when his bill collector called me to ask me where he was... he gave them my cell number without my permission or even telling me first. I left a message on his voice mail about it... he emailed me that he had been injured at work and as soon as he was better he would pay the bill off. He also asked how I was.... I just emailed him back that I was well... and let it go.
It has been a very hard couple of months, but I think I am almost there. I did not rush to call him to ask him how he had been injured. I did not pursue it. My codependent side wanted to, but I didn't.
I alternate between being very hurt, very angry, and pity for him.
I have also put my foot into the dating pond. Life goes on thankfully.
For those who are just beginning the journey of a life without an alcoholic significant other, all I can say is that it does get better one day at a time... it is getting better for me.
In three more months I will remember to post again....
The only contact I have had with him was when his bill collector called me to ask me where he was... he gave them my cell number without my permission or even telling me first. I left a message on his voice mail about it... he emailed me that he had been injured at work and as soon as he was better he would pay the bill off. He also asked how I was.... I just emailed him back that I was well... and let it go.
It has been a very hard couple of months, but I think I am almost there. I did not rush to call him to ask him how he had been injured. I did not pursue it. My codependent side wanted to, but I didn't.
I alternate between being very hurt, very angry, and pity for him.
I have also put my foot into the dating pond. Life goes on thankfully.
For those who are just beginning the journey of a life without an alcoholic significant other, all I can say is that it does get better one day at a time... it is getting better for me.
In three more months I will remember to post again....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 477
I did not rush to call him to ask him how he had been injured.
Pat yourself on the back! That's a huge step forward for you. I noticed that until I ceased reading XABF's emails (send them straight to delete now), he always included some little tidbit to try to lure me back and force me to ask him a question.
Stay strong for you!
ARL
Pat yourself on the back! That's a huge step forward for you. I noticed that until I ceased reading XABF's emails (send them straight to delete now), he always included some little tidbit to try to lure me back and force me to ask him a question.
Stay strong for you!
ARL
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Kansas City
Posts: 16
Originally Posted by ARealLady 
I did not rush to call him to ask him how he had been injured.
Pat yourself on the back! That's a huge step forward for you. I noticed that until I ceased reading XABF's emails (send them straight to delete now), he always included some little tidbit to try to lure me back and force me to ask him a question.
Stay strong for you!
ARL
Pat yourself on the back! That's a huge step forward for you. I noticed that until I ceased reading XABF's emails (send them straight to delete now), he always included some little tidbit to try to lure me back and force me to ask him a question.
Stay strong for you!
ARL
Well that was his one attempt at elliciting some sort of response from me, and the last I heard from him was August 16th, so I am pretty confident that I have heard the last of him. He lives 4 hours away from me, so he can't "bump" into me accidently. I quit going to read online forums I used to enjoy because he posted mean things about me on them. I figured if I do not read it, it can't hurt me... so there is no other way for him to impact my life without taking direct steps to do so, it has been a month and a half, I really can't see him doing anything further to try to get at me, and every day I am more confident when I say I have really moved on....
I was pretty direct when I emailed him a lengthy "intervention" letter in which I told him that I have surmised he is a problem drinker and I do not want the problem in my life and I will not be involved with anyone that drinks at all ever again... so pretty much I have directly said it was me or the bottle... he obviously chose the bottle.
I never have to experience this again.... I am so thankful that I have taken my power back and I cannot conceive of giving it to him again.
Thanks for your words.
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