can you tell me?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Hello and welcome.
You find all sorts of useful info here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
AlAnon is for the families/friends of As.
And this ploace has been a God send for me and so many others. Keep on posting.
You find all sorts of useful info here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html
AlAnon is for the families/friends of As.
And this ploace has been a God send for me and so many others. Keep on posting.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
I live in two states and both have listings for the area in ea. for mtgs.
You should be able to get linked up with google. Even if you are in a rural area I bet their is a recovery community there. Good luck to ya.
You should be able to get linked up with google. Even if you are in a rural area I bet their is a recovery community there. Good luck to ya.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
Alanon will help, here is the link www.Al-Anon-AK.org
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 12
thank you all, The closest place to attend meetings is in Wasilla witch is 70 miles away. I'll keep reading post here but will that get me the help that I need?
I dont mean to sound negitive but I,m thinking mabe its not that bad
and just live with it.
I dont mean to sound negitive but I,m thinking mabe its not that bad
and just live with it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Maryland
Posts: 223
Originally Posted by widetrak60 
but I,m thinking mabe its not that bad
and just live with it.
and just live with it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
It is a progressive disease. I know people who drive further than that at least once a week for a meeting. I'd consider trying it and seeing if it helps. Occasional face to face contact with those who understand is priceless.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by widetrak60
I dont mean to sound negitive but I,m thinking mabe its not that bad
and just live with it.
and just live with it.
There is an abundance of support from some really good people that have been where you are now. Some people's situations are worse than others, that doesn't mean it's any less significant. Why not share your story, it might make you feel better?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 7
Widetrak, from what I recall reading in your other posts, it is a big deal, you should be here and I agree with those who suggest you try to get to a meeting a few times periodically.
My situation is similar to yours in many ways - my wife was a secret drinker to the point that she was abusing for 6 years and I didn't even know (part of this is because she also has reumatoid arthritis, whose symptoms include extreme fatigue -"explaining" evening semi-consciousness, and sore joints - "explaining" falling-down-drunkenness). Over those years things crept piece by piece through to some very difficult stuff for me and also some pretty negative things for our daughters. My wife eventually experienced the dt's (which was terrfying for me, let alone her) and since has been doing very well (almost seven weeks sober - early days but promising) and she is really starting to dig into working a recovery program.
You know, if you put a frog into a boiling pot, it will hop out. However, if you put it in a room temperature pot and slowly raise the temperature, it will continuously acclimatize and let you cook it without noticing that anything is wrong. I think that we codependent people have a situation like that. You therefore need to really recognize when things are bad. Try making a list of the things that have been/are happening and then consider whether you would want your child/parent/sibling/spouse/whoever to go through it. If the answer is "Hell, no!" then it is a big deal.
One of the things, though, that you might find surprising (I did and am) is that getting help is about us fixing ourselves - it isn't about "getting" or "making" the alcoholics in our lives to get better (although I think that there are some ways we can be supportive of those who are working on their recovery). I'm still working on processing this little tidbit.
Keep posting.
My situation is similar to yours in many ways - my wife was a secret drinker to the point that she was abusing for 6 years and I didn't even know (part of this is because she also has reumatoid arthritis, whose symptoms include extreme fatigue -"explaining" evening semi-consciousness, and sore joints - "explaining" falling-down-drunkenness). Over those years things crept piece by piece through to some very difficult stuff for me and also some pretty negative things for our daughters. My wife eventually experienced the dt's (which was terrfying for me, let alone her) and since has been doing very well (almost seven weeks sober - early days but promising) and she is really starting to dig into working a recovery program.
You know, if you put a frog into a boiling pot, it will hop out. However, if you put it in a room temperature pot and slowly raise the temperature, it will continuously acclimatize and let you cook it without noticing that anything is wrong. I think that we codependent people have a situation like that. You therefore need to really recognize when things are bad. Try making a list of the things that have been/are happening and then consider whether you would want your child/parent/sibling/spouse/whoever to go through it. If the answer is "Hell, no!" then it is a big deal.
One of the things, though, that you might find surprising (I did and am) is that getting help is about us fixing ourselves - it isn't about "getting" or "making" the alcoholics in our lives to get better (although I think that there are some ways we can be supportive of those who are working on their recovery). I'm still working on processing this little tidbit.
Keep posting.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by pjreid
One of the things, though, that you might find surprising (I did and am) is that getting help is about us fixing ourselves - it isn't about "getting" or "making" the alcoholics in our lives to get better (although I think that there are some ways we can be supportive of those who are working on their recovery). I'm still working on processing this little tidbit.
Keep posting.
Keep posting.
got home from work and yes she has been drinking and yes it does bother me,
but it is slight and if you did not know her you would not know that she was drinking
If I keep my mouth shut it will be a calm night but if I say any thing the fight will be on. I guess I know the anser, I cant just live with this.
Last edited by DesertEyes; 10-04-2007 at 06:13 PM. Reason: fixed broken quote
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Originally Posted by widetrak60
I just dont under stand why she is sick but I need to be fixed.
L
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 12
Ok, lets see if I got this right. I cant do anything to fix her.
I have to change my life because I'm unhappy, But what am I
changing to? I like my life, My kids are grown and maried.
retirment is in sight and I want to spend it happly with my wife in peace.
There has to be a way! I've got to find A way! I don't think I have ever
been this sad
I have to change my life because I'm unhappy, But what am I
changing to? I like my life, My kids are grown and maried.
retirment is in sight and I want to spend it happly with my wife in peace.
There has to be a way! I've got to find A way! I don't think I have ever
been this sad
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
There are people who learn to live with active alcoholism. I've met them in Al-Anon. Changing one's life comes in many variations. Bottom line for me was accepting I cannot change another's behaviors. Everything I do today acknowledges that as my reality.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 12
Going to my first Al-Anon meeting tonight told wife that I'm going but did not go
into why or what got me to this point and she did not ask. I hopeing this will
help me see what I must do. Not sure how I fell about this, just uneasy I guess.
into why or what got me to this point and she did not ask. I hopeing this will
help me see what I must do. Not sure how I fell about this, just uneasy I guess.
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