yummy mummy

Hi all as I said I am new to all this, my bf of a few months is 2 years in recovery & in his words 'still learning' I am so proud of him & how he has turned his life around but thankfully I didn't know him when he was an addict (I know him almost a year). He always tells me to ask questions but I don't really know what I need to know & don't want him to feel that I am 'grilling' him. I want him to know I am interested & to understand what he is going through (obviously I know I will never know everything but I wanna be there for him).

I am also scared, I am his first 'real girlfriend' & I know he loves me but he can get a bit distant & I don't wanna crowd him but I also don't want him to think I don't care.

I know he will 'let me in' when he is ready & not a min b4 but right now i just feel helpless/clueless. Does anyone know what sort of questions I should be asking???

I hope this post makes sense coz right now I am not sure if I do (sorry)

Barbara52

I would say any question you feel the need to ask. You certainly form a strong open relationship if there are things you aren't allowed to ask. He can say he doesn't want to answer and that may be a perfectly legit thing to do. But true intimacy requires openess IMO.

yummy mummy

Thanks Barbara

He has always told me to ask him anything & he will answer me as honestly as he can. I have asked the usual why? how? when? questions & he has answered them to the best of his ability I just feel that I need to know more & I am not sure what 'more' I need to know. (does that make sense???)

embraced2000

hi yummy and welcome

follow your instincts. instincts are usually right.

best to you and lots of hugs
jeri

yummy mummy

Thanks Jeri I will try but I am not sure if I trust my instincts right now

cmc

Hi yummy, I just wanted to welcome you to SR and to this forum. Coming here is one of the best ways you can learn, and in case you haven't checked out the sticky threads, they contain alot of information and reading lists.
I hope you will feel free to post as often as you like, look forward to hearing about how you are doing.

yummy mummy

thank u cmc I am have had a quick look through the 'stickies' but will have a 'proper' look soon

I really appreciate the welcomes & feel I am learning already, I picked up a lovely prayer from 1 poster & have shared it with BF & my children