kj21

We had a great weekend, Ah was well behaved, we had fun as a family, friends over for a bbq...then...yesterday afternoon, I noticed my ah was getting quite restless, and i asked if he was ok, he said he just needed to go for a drive (it was the anniversary of his dads death... 2yrs.) Well he was gone for 4 hours, and then brought the car home with out a drop of gas. I had to walk to work this morning, only a 10min walk but that is not my point. He drives around a lot, I know when he has been up to no good when he uses every bit of gas in the car. I never fill it up anymore, only 20.00 at a time. Does any one else experience this?????

ARealLady

my ah was getting quite restless, and i asked if he was ok, he said he just needed to go for a drive

I've experienced that with XABF and the restlessness (palpable!) meant it was getting near his drinking time. The sudden "need" to go for a drive meant going to buy alcohol. I know he has done the long driving around thing too but since we were long distance not when I was actually there but I know he did it when I wasn't there and more than once on a Sunday so he could go buy beer in another state.....what a waste of gas, time, money!

ARL

dopelesshope

I know as a recovering addict myself with almost a decade clean, I still sometimes just need to drive. As a man, there is something about driving. I often pray or just listen to really loud music that my wife can't stand and and LET it oUt.
Driving is a form of mediation for me.
I can't dwell on thoughts for too long and I stay focused on the road which helps clear my mind. I know, after being around too many people and feeling like I have my mask on, I need to drive

I don't know if that is what is going on in your home but I though another perspective may help.

All the best
The Dopeless Hope Fiend

kj21

Thank you! That does help to know that others find driving theraputic.....Iknow he listens to his music loud as well....thaks again for your reply!

reader

My husband is struggling with this very thing. He has retired and has alot of time on his hands. He turns a few errands into 4hrs. I call it visiting with his "girlfriends". He goes to the library and chats with the librarian, donates books from his civil war collection, then he chats up the bank tellers and the cashier at the country store. He has a good sense of humor so I hope they don't get too sick of him.

GiveLove

Not any more. Well, the leaving the car empty part.

Sounds a bit disrespectful to me, regardless of his frame of mind (sounds like he does it no matter what his frame of mind, no matter your needs)

But the driving around? Yeah, I still do that myself. And I fill the car up so my s.o. won't have to walk to work.

Just me.
GL

Octoman

Hi,
I am a recovering alcoholic with two months sobriety. I also find driving helps immensely. I drank heavily every night and occasionally all day. For me, no matter how good a day I have had with my family and no matter how happy I am feelng with them something happens around my old drinking time. Not just an intense desire to drink but also a mood change that I know makes me fractuous and argumentative. Getting in the car and driving does help. Sometimes I need to drive for a long time before the feeling passes. When I am doing this the ONLY thing on my mind is staying calm and not thinking about the drink. My wife gets annoyed too. Not because of the gas I use but just because I take of at the drop of a hat to god knows where! Believe me though it does help.

The last two months have been a rebirth for me. I have once again become a proper father to my two year old son and my marriage is finally starting to repair. I would drive all night if thats what I had to do to stop me ever drinking again.