Today is 3 days
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 1,175
Today is 3 days
3 days of no contact. I know it seems small, but, it is huge for me.
Want to say thanks for being here, everyone.
One day at a time...I am slowly feeling like some small pieces of me are stirring awake. I thought they were all dead. There is alot of emotional gunk stuck on these pieces, but, I am feeling hopeful in recovering my SELF, and getting on with mine and my sons lives...
It feels good to cry and know that the barrage is on hiatus.I had stopped crying a long time ago, because there was so much maintenance necessary to just deal with him, his lies, and his crazy chaos everyday.
Now that I can trust myself to stop the train, I can feel, and I am scared of how big the feelings are, but, I also feel like I am coming HOME to myself.
Want to say thanks for being here, everyone.
One day at a time...I am slowly feeling like some small pieces of me are stirring awake. I thought they were all dead. There is alot of emotional gunk stuck on these pieces, but, I am feeling hopeful in recovering my SELF, and getting on with mine and my sons lives...
It feels good to cry and know that the barrage is on hiatus.I had stopped crying a long time ago, because there was so much maintenance necessary to just deal with him, his lies, and his crazy chaos everyday.
Now that I can trust myself to stop the train, I can feel, and I am scared of how big the feelings are, but, I also feel like I am coming HOME to myself.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
((((buffalo))))))
when i went no contact, i slept like the dead for two days. i was so exhausted from all the chaos. it felt so good to have the remote, not sit on a stool that he had peed all over, to know i wouldn't have to walk on eggshells, to sit where i wanted, watch what i wanted, and not to be involved in the alcoholic dance.
it was bliss. it was also very traumatic in a way. it felt so final. and i wondered about him......but i started focusing on myself and taking care of myself again.
it was tough at times, but i made it through. be prepared for an extreme mix of emotions and have a plan to follow when it happens.
when those times hit me, i had already promised myself not to reach out to him....so i would allow myself to wallow in my own self made misery for awhile, knowing i would not take any actions to reach out. that was a beginning, anyway.
it gets easier.
best to you
jeri
when i went no contact, i slept like the dead for two days. i was so exhausted from all the chaos. it felt so good to have the remote, not sit on a stool that he had peed all over, to know i wouldn't have to walk on eggshells, to sit where i wanted, watch what i wanted, and not to be involved in the alcoholic dance.
it was bliss. it was also very traumatic in a way. it felt so final. and i wondered about him......but i started focusing on myself and taking care of myself again.
it was tough at times, but i made it through. be prepared for an extreme mix of emotions and have a plan to follow when it happens.
when those times hit me, i had already promised myself not to reach out to him....so i would allow myself to wallow in my own self made misery for awhile, knowing i would not take any actions to reach out. that was a beginning, anyway.
it gets easier.
best to you
jeri
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