joyX

Abf went back to Ohio a few days ago for court. But, today he got into an accident, was so messed up he could barely talk, got charged with Dui, possession of heroin, needles and spoons, tampered with evidence, moved an injured person, and theres more, i just can't think of it.

So, needless to say, he's going to jail. Bail is 13,000 and no one has that to bail him out with.

On one hand, I am thinking "halleluia, maybe they will give him rehab"

But the other hand is thinking, now I'm alone (I moved down to New Orleans to go to school, and we got an apartment together and everything was going really really well until this.)

Anyone know if there's any chance of rehab?
I seriously hope so. I know he's ready to stop, but he just needs help.

If not, does anyone know how much jail time he is looking at?

joyX

Oh, and I forgot. This is DUI #3. Within 2 years.

Viki

Hi joyx....I am sorry to hear about your bf. Here in KY the third dui within 5 years is mandatory to serve 1 year. There is always hope for rehab. The person has to really want it. The help is put out there. It is what you do with it that counts. As far as the possession of the drugs...How much did he have on him will account for the amount of time in jail. it will range from a possession to a trafficking charge. The needles could pose a problem ...in some states it is a felony to possess them without a script. The spoon will be paraphenalia charge. Sorry to say hon but he may be looking at quite a long time in jail. it all dependson the judge and the amount of drugs that he had. Hang in there...I'm happy to hear that you weren't involved.
Hugs to you.........Viki

ICU

Or so you thought! I'm not saying that to be mean, but with all those other 'drug' related charges, that stuff could have been found in 'your new apartment you shared with him' or when you were in the car with him, etc. When they find that stuff, I believe that 'everyone' at the scene would have been arrested, guilty or not, including 'you'. Thank goodness you weren't with him at the time.

I don't know anything about the laws with respect to possession, etc., but in my opinion, it doesn't sound promising. As far as court ordered rehab, well, with the other charges pending, I'm sorry, I just don't know.

You might be alone right now, and perhaps for some time. That, in my opinion, might be the best thing for you. Now you can focus on 'you' and your schooling, and leave his situation and consequences to him. I really don't mean for that to sound heartless, for i'm sure you care about him a great deal.

I always say that in time 'more will be revealed', just like it has been for you. You have just received a HUGE gift, imo. Now it's up to you as to what you'll do with this information.

Barbara52

Oh really?

How does lving with an alcoholic drug user equate to relly well?

You might want to take stock of your life while you have this time alone and figure out what you want from your life. Figure out what would mean living well. Get yourself into therapy, AlAnon or some other form of treatment and learn why you think life with an active alcoholic and serious drug user can be classified in your mind as life going really well.

embraced2000

i agree with the others that remarked on the quality of life while living with an active addict......in my case, things were not ok, i was just minimizing the times that were like a nightmare straight out of hell, comparing the nightmare days to the "just barely functional days". so of course, the "so-called just fine" days were still just absolutely insane, as i look back upon it now.

durn....having a tough time putting this into words.

ok......life for me would never be fine with drugs in my house or car, and an active addict around, as charming as the creatures can be. never. not ever again.

i could never operate "on the edge" again. and i would never depend upon an active addict for support of any kind.

joy, attending al-anon helped me to understand about addiction, myself, and life choices. i hope you will give it, or another recovery program consideration.

i didn't realize how much i had been affected by addiction, and a chaotic, abnormal life had become to seem normal.

best of everything to you
jeri

ICU

Nope, you did just fine explaining it Jeri! BINGO on the minimizing scenario! I've been guilty of doing that too. Sometimes though, it's not until we 'look back' as in 'hindsight' that we realize just how much we've minimized what we have gone through, and all that we have accepted as 'normal'.

WantsOut

HI Joyx- First, I only know about Ny law. I knew one person who got a thrid dwi but only got a very strict probation (VERY strict) with the threat of jail if they screwed up. The heroin is a whole different story. The other person I knew who got caught with a needle and dope was sentenced to one year in jail, served four months, and forced into rehab.

The laws always sound scary but I find when it comes down to actually sentencing someone it all depends on the quality of their lawyer. Both people I knew were, frankly, from wealthy white families and had the best defense that money can buy. And so it goes ...

but of course, that's about him. Let's talk about you ...

why are you with a junkie? You know what kind of diseases a junkie can bring home, including hiv? Do you really understand the lengths that they will go to to get high? It's a heartbreaker. The same rich white girl I mentioned above was turning tricks on the street in Brooklyn. This is a girl who once went to a private school that cost as much as a university. She once stole from a room where the doors and windows were locked tight. It was a mystery how she managed to do it - they become geniuses of theft. And, as mentioned above, prisons across the US are populated by women who got "caught" being in the same house with drugs and paraphanalia. When you're with a junkie the cops assume you are like them.

Please consider this a blessing from God - not that he might get well, that's up to him. Maybe it's your chance to get away clean without the breakup drama.

Hugs and love

laurie6781

Here you go, here's the DUI law and consequences for Louisianna:

http://www.1800duilaws.com/states/lo...wi_penalty.asp

It's HIS problem not yours. So you don't take more time away from your college work, use the time you worry about him and instead attend some Alanon meetings for your own sanity.

Love and hugs,

Mr. Christian

Ok,

With all the charges on this guy and everything he was found with you are lucky he is in jail.


3rd DUI?

Sounds like it was God’s will here to give you some time to ,,,,,well to RUN.

I agree with the others that say you should look within yourself at this time.
This is not a positive relationship to be in.

Alanon will give you a boost my friend and it sounds like it’s well needed.

Take some time on yourself and where you are going.

parentrecovers

how do you know he's ready to stop? i hope you're right, but...........

chrisea

Joyx,
maybe a better nick would be joy0 as in joy ZERO, which is what you have when you are in an active addicts life... RUN & Don't ever look back... if you do ~ just think of the magnificant lesson you have learned. After all, if you combined any or all of our stories, you would get "It could have been worse, it would get worse and it Will Get Worse, if you stay"
Keep your funds for yourself to get thru school. Then maybe, someday things will go really really well with a guy that can provide a stable, loving relationship. Count me in with the crowd of women, that would rather be alone (but not lonely, for that kind of person). Take care of yourself

Buffalo66

I know how hard it is to be involved with this, and you have definitely got some issues with your view of things. The good days are really bad,in comparison to the bad days. and the bad days are hell.

I wrote something recently to a friend. It was something like;

I dont know what I am afraid of losing. There is really nothing here, but deficit. I only have a bag full of wounds...I just spent alot of time telling myself, "well, they are MY wounds, and some days they are all I have"

Now, I am trying to move back to where my standards are higher, where I expect more from my life, and the people in it.

Good luck. It is going to be hard, but you will start finding your way. consider Alanon for sure.